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“So am I. I need someone to tell me that eight cars are unreasonable. Although I am considering getting a minivan for the kid, and I don’t think that should count.”
“A car is a car, Kit. It counts.”
“A minivan ispracticalfor kids though.”
“We don’t need a minivan.”
Silence.
“You already bought one, didn’t you?”
“I don’t think a car seat is meant to fit in an Aston Martin. And we’re not taking the subway home from the hospital. I don’t love the idea of taking the train to Connecticut with a newborn, and I’m sure you’ll want to visit your parents. So, yeah, I bought a minivan.”
“I don’t take a lot of risks,” I state. “Performing at that open mic night was the craziest thing I’d done in a while, and I never would have done it solo. I played it safe for my entire life, and now I’m about to become a mom. And I’m not saying having kids ends your life, but it doeschangeit. I’ve never wanted to go skydiving. The thought of voluntarily jumping out of a plane gives me nightmares. But I thought I’d have more time to definitely decide against it or other risks before being responsible for someone else. I’m lame. I’ll be a lame mom.”
“You’re not lame. You’re the coolest person I know, Collins.”
I blow out a long breath, until it feels like there’s no air left in my lungs. What else is he supposed to say? Agree?
“You’re just saying that.”
“No, I’m not.” His thumb skims the length of my jaw, gripping my chin and turning my face toward him. “I’ve never lied to you. Iwillnever lie to you. You want to know what I think? Ask me something. And I’ll tell you the truth, even if it’s not what you want to hear. So,hearme when I say that you’re fierce and brave and brilliant. Our kid is not going to fall asleep in this room, staring at the stars you suggested we paint on the ceiling, and think,My mom is so lame.Not until he or she is fifteen and a bratty teenager at least.”
I let out a watery laugh. Trust Kit to make me laugh and cry at the same time.
“And I’ll go skydiving with you,” he adds. “If you change your mind.”
I sniffle. “I love you so much.”
There’s no mental tally to add to anymore. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve said that to Kit, which makes me almost as happy as hearing him whisper them back to me.
He captures my palm in his, rubbing small circles around my knuckles with his thumb. “Papaya isn’t going to come out requesting a résumé, Monty. We’ve got some time to get our stories straight about our skydiving adventure.”
I laugh. “I don’t think lying to your child is great parenting.”
“My parents kept up a farce of an old man sneaking down our chimney to deliver gifts foryears, and I turned out fine. I don’t think one fictional trip is going to ruin our kid.”
I’m still laughing. I’m sohappy, lying on the floor with Kit. A moment I want to memorize.
He’s smiling, watching me laugh. “It wasn’tthatfunny.”
I shift carefully so I’m on my side, facing him. “We’re going to have to discuss names soon. Non-food-related names.”
“Personally, I think Papaya Tate Kensington has a nice ring to it.”
My chest squeezes tight when I realize he purposefully included my last name too. “I’m voting against Papaya,” I state firmly. “But I’m good with the rest.”
Kit tucks an arm behind his head. “Did you know Lili’s named after my grandmother? My dad’s mom. She died when he was pretty young. One theory about my grandfather’s attitude … he never really got over it.”
“No, I didn’t know that,” I say softly.
“I was thinking …” Kit clears his throat. “I was thinking it might be nice, if it’s a boy, to honor my dad in some way. Use Crew as a middle name or something.” He slants a glance my way. “It was just a thought. It’s totally fine if you?—”
“I think it’s a great idea.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” I reach out, resting a hand on the center of his chest. It rises with a sudden inhale. “I think it would mean a lot to him.”