Page 96
Story: All Your Fault
“I wasn’t using her if that’s what you think,” he said. “I just can’t be with anyone right now.”
I turned to look at him as the elevator doors closed. He looked wrecked.
He cleared his throat. “I had to move here to look after everything—my mom passed and my dad is off his rocker and—we’re all just trying to get this place back on its feet. My sister hates me, my brother’s barely talking to me and… I just feel like shit.”
Something inside of me softened, only slightly.
“You have to… Will told me you lost someone. So, you have to know what it’s like to have your world fall apart?”
I was shocked. This man knew about me?
“Don’t get mad at Will, he only told me because I made him. I was worried about him. He’s even worse off than me. Anyway—”
The elevator dinged, the doors sliding open.
“I know it’s not the same,” he said, following me. “But having my wife do that… I lost the person I loved most in the world. I still don’t know how I feel. It’s so complicated. You have to relate, right?”
I spun on my heel. We were alone in this hallway. I could knock this guy out if I wanted.
But he hung his head and suddenly and the anger went out of me. The man was in pain. Pain I recognized.
I knew exactly what complicated feelings were like. I knew what it was like to be furious with someone you used to love so much. Because that’s what it was. It wasn’t just that I was devastated we lost Joe. I was furious at him. He’d left. He’d run into that building, knowing the risks, not letting us say goodbye.
I thought of Will, down in the dark, whispering in my ear. His hand holding mine, the knowledge that, at that moment, he’d do anything for me.
“It’ll get easier,” I said.
Eli lifted his head. “What?”
“It will be easier with time. The feelings for your ex. But you have to say goodbye.”
It was like a light had come on, a spotlight, pointing directly into my heart.
The elevator dinged behind us and I knew Reese was there.
I turned around. She shook her head when she saw Eli. “No.”
“You should go,” I said.
He stood there a moment, his face stricken with pain, then he nodded and walked toward Reese.
“341,” he said to me, without stopping.
“What?”
“341. That’s Will’s room.”
I didn’t even have time to digest that. Eli stopped in front of Reese. “I’m sorry,” he said. Then he kept going, catching the elevator doors.
I took Reese’s hand and together we strode toward our room.
“You were incredible,” I said.
“I ran.”
I opened our door, holding it for her.
“Yeah, but first, you sang.”
I turned to look at him as the elevator doors closed. He looked wrecked.
He cleared his throat. “I had to move here to look after everything—my mom passed and my dad is off his rocker and—we’re all just trying to get this place back on its feet. My sister hates me, my brother’s barely talking to me and… I just feel like shit.”
Something inside of me softened, only slightly.
“You have to… Will told me you lost someone. So, you have to know what it’s like to have your world fall apart?”
I was shocked. This man knew about me?
“Don’t get mad at Will, he only told me because I made him. I was worried about him. He’s even worse off than me. Anyway—”
The elevator dinged, the doors sliding open.
“I know it’s not the same,” he said, following me. “But having my wife do that… I lost the person I loved most in the world. I still don’t know how I feel. It’s so complicated. You have to relate, right?”
I spun on my heel. We were alone in this hallway. I could knock this guy out if I wanted.
But he hung his head and suddenly and the anger went out of me. The man was in pain. Pain I recognized.
I knew exactly what complicated feelings were like. I knew what it was like to be furious with someone you used to love so much. Because that’s what it was. It wasn’t just that I was devastated we lost Joe. I was furious at him. He’d left. He’d run into that building, knowing the risks, not letting us say goodbye.
I thought of Will, down in the dark, whispering in my ear. His hand holding mine, the knowledge that, at that moment, he’d do anything for me.
“It’ll get easier,” I said.
Eli lifted his head. “What?”
“It will be easier with time. The feelings for your ex. But you have to say goodbye.”
It was like a light had come on, a spotlight, pointing directly into my heart.
The elevator dinged behind us and I knew Reese was there.
I turned around. She shook her head when she saw Eli. “No.”
“You should go,” I said.
He stood there a moment, his face stricken with pain, then he nodded and walked toward Reese.
“341,” he said to me, without stopping.
“What?”
“341. That’s Will’s room.”
I didn’t even have time to digest that. Eli stopped in front of Reese. “I’m sorry,” he said. Then he kept going, catching the elevator doors.
I took Reese’s hand and together we strode toward our room.
“You were incredible,” I said.
“I ran.”
I opened our door, holding it for her.
“Yeah, but first, you sang.”
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