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My stomach dips and my mouth turns down a little as I make the realization that we might not be here long. And this is definitely a school you have to be zoned into.
So if I have to move to the ghetto after my contract with Ethan expires, Jax won’t be going to this school anymore…
I decide I am not going to think about that now. Half the reason I took this job was because I believe it could get me another high paying job in the industry. I like to think that one bad job and an unfortunate connection to Liam Sloane hasn’t blemished my reputation as a writer forever. One day at a time.
“Do you think she likes you?” I ask, taking Jax’s hand. He’s still little enough that he is willing to hold my hand in public and I love it. I know we are creeping on the deadline for that and I’m just not ready. A lot of people wish away the young years. I never want them to be over.
Life is too complicated to wish away the innocent years.
“Maybe. She also gave me her scrunchy which I think girls do when they like you.”
“Really? How do you know that?” I ask.
“Because Sam gave her scrunchy to Hayden and everyone says that means she likes him and they’re basically dating now.”
“Dating?!” I let out. “So you have a girlfriend?”
Jax tugs away from my hand so he can pick a dandelion out of the sidewalk crack. “Maybe. But I’m not ready to get married.”
I let out a mock sigh. “Phew. Well that’s a relief. I don’t have anything to wear to a wedding.”
Jax looks up at me and laughs before handing me the dandelion. When we get home, I press it into a book, a copy of Gone With the Wind I have read three times. I want to save it forever, just like the memory of today’s walk. I’ve learned in the past six years that moments like this are all that matter.
With that said, I realize I’m not being careful enough. Rosilyn seems like a sweet enough person but she still recognized me at the coffee shop with Ethan. And she realized that he is a bit older than me and also that there was chemistry. While I waved it off, I can’t help but wonder if the flirting and the banter was there. If she noticed, other people could have noticed. And people in close knit places like this like to talk.
If I want to keep Jax safe, that is the last thing I need.
This is business and nothing more.
No one can know that I am working against my dad, no one can know that I am working with Ethan.
And Ethan can’t find out that Jax is his son.
It’s a big angry circle of secrets and if any of them get out to the wrong people, everything I am working towards will come crashing down. I have to be able to raise him, on my own, in a good home with a good school and no one threatening to take anything from us. And that means no more flirting. No dinnersthat aren’t about work. No coffee shop knee bumping and eye contact that lasts too long.
No matter how incredible that eye contact is.
And no more nightcaps that end in multiple orgasms.
As I set Jax’s macaroni and cheese with little smokies on the table and turn on Wheel of Fortune (he loves game shows) I remind myself why I’m here. It’s not a man that I have crushed on for years, having unrealistic thoughts that I shouldn’t entertain. It’s me and my career and it’s Jax getting to stay at the school where the girls give him scrunchies and make him smile.
Whatever romantic notions I have about Ethan are not more important than that.
Chapter 12
Ethan
“Finish whatever bullshit you’re editing because we are going to lunch in ten.” Liam pats his hand on the doorframe of my office before walking off.
I grit my teeth.
It’s almost like he’s telling me to jump and I’m supposed to say how high.
This is the way it’s been for weeks now. Months ever. He snaps his fingers and expects me to spring into action. I swear to God, I hardly know the man anymore. I’m this close to telling him to fuck off. To just being done with him all together. But I can’t. The article will be written soon and it needs to be executed perfectly for me to take him down. I will never be freed from under his thumb and neither will Izzy if we don’t go through with this. So for now, I have to play ball.
And speaking of that…
Izzy is being stand-offish.