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He needs to know the truth.
At least…part of the truth.
“Well?” Ethan presses and I bite my lips looking away. “Don’t tell me it’s nobody, Izzy. That face tells me he’s not nobody.”
“He’s my son.” I say and the room falls silent. Like everything that was suspended in the air, all the unknown hits the floor in a crash and we are just standing here now.
“Your…son?”
I nod, tears stinging my eyes. I didn’t want him to know. I don’t want things to be complicated. I’ve worked hard to create the bubble Jaxon and I live in and I can’t let it be compromised. But I am also having a hard time holding a poker face right now. I know it’s wrong to keep Jax from him. He has a right to know. But I can’t predict how Ethan will react to knowing he has a kid. Especially that he has a kid with me. It could ruin his reputation, his job…everything. And I can’t protect Jaxon from scenarios I can’t predict.
I pad back over to the bed in last night’s clothes, my hair a mess and my chin quivering and I sit down. As I try to figure out where to start, or how much I want to say, Ethan tugs on a pair of sweatpants, which is good. Way less distracting.
“You have a son.” The words come out less like a question and more like a statement and I nod.
“I do.”
Ethan sits down next to me, staring forward. “How old?”
“He’s five.”
He nods again. “Pre-school?”
“Kindergarten,” I smile shakily. “It’s wild. I wasn’t ready for it but he was so excited to go to school. He even insisted on the all day classes instead of half day which nearly broke me.”
Ethan’s lips tip in a smile too. “Big man on campus.”
I laugh a little. “Pretty much. He’s very driven.”
“Like his mother.”
Like his father.
My heart slams against my ribs and it just hurts. Part of me wants to tell him but I can’t. I am too worried about what will happen if Ethan wants no part of it. Or if he meets Jax and then realizes he doesn't want to be involved. Or if my dad finds out.
I wipe my eyes. None of that can happen.
“The second room,” Ethan says and for a moment, I’m lost.
“I’m sorry?”
He looks at me with a smile. “That’s why you wanted the second room. And the townhouse in a family oriented neighborhood.”
“Yeah.”
“Well then I’m glad you are where you are.”
Me too. So much that I could kiss you right now.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks and my attention snaps over to him. “Why did you keep him a secret?”
“To be honest, I haven’t told most people. He was…I wasn’t trying to get pregnant.”
“And the father?”
The question makes my stomach bottom out. But the look in Ethan’s eyes tells me he truly isn’t doing the math.
“He doesn’t know.”