Page 14

Another illusion, another trick to make us defenceless.

“Me?” I gasped, wondering how Duncan must’ve felt when he fell into that realm of corruption and saw me standing there. Did he think I fell in with him? Had he come to save me, only to find himself punished for his selflessness?

“Yes. And I saw you too. That power I mentioned, it was coming from you like you were some beacon. A light, a god. I knew it wasn’t real, or was it? I still to this day cannot say which.”

Erix fell into silence again.

“Keep going when you are ready.” If the fury in my tone, or the command, had the power to stop Erix harming himself, it was the desperation in my eyes that truly rendered him powerless to refuse me.

“Duwar – or you – laid a hand on Duncan’s chest. I thought it was a simple gesture, like the greeting of friends… lovers. But clearly the action hurt Duncan. He screamed. Then he fell to the ground and Duwar was gone. I didn’t stick around to see what had happened. I picked Duncan up and flew back to the gate before it closed. It wasn’t until we were through that I saw the claw marks on his chest.”

The wound that hadn’t healed in the weeks since it happened. The angry, puckered marks that oozed blood and pus. Neither Elinor’s healers in Elmdew, nor any medicine I’d ordered from the apothecary, had been successful in healing the infection that burned there.

“It was some form of transference then,” I said, speaking aloud as my mind pieced together the scrambled puzzle pieces. “That was how Duwar was able to enter Duncan.”

“So, it’s true. Duwar is here… inhim.”

I grimaced at the sharp crack of Erix’s final word. “Unfortunately, yes.”

I saw the pieces of the puzzle slot perfectly together in Erix’s mind.

“I am so sorry, little bird. This is my fault. I should have–”

My legs gave out as I sat back on the bed, hands numb as they rested on my lap. “I’ve told you. This is no one’s fault but my own. I should have never agreed to put my power into the stones. I was convinced it was the only way to prevent this threat from ever affecting our realms again, but instead I only made it a possibility. Now three keys are destroyed, Duncan is possessed and the only way to destroy Duwar is by murdering his host. But I’m just so selfish, I could never do that, Erix. This all could be over if I just killed Duncan, but I can’t… I’m too weak…”

“Your self-pity and regret are misplaced, and yet I feel them as if they are mine to harbour,” Erix said. “I hate myself for allowing you to deal with this alone. I should’ve refused you when you sent me away. No matter how you shut me out, I know you well enough to sense that something was wrong. I just never… I never thought it would be this.”

Erix’s voice cracked as he replied, which made the fissures in my chest widen.

“You’d never be able to refuse me, Erix,” I whispered. “We both know that.”

He bowed his chin to his chest, his sigh monumental. “Because you are both my greatest weakness, and my greatest strength.”

I stood abruptly, putting space between us as guilt racked through me. I couldn’t do this, not with Erix – not as Duncan lay, helpless and dying, in the room beside me. It was wrong, and yet it felt almost right. He was comforting me, and I him. And even though my intention was pure, I still suffered with the concept that I was crossing lines that I shouldn’t even contemplate.

Perhaps it was a repercussion of Duwar’s nightmares, or maybe my own internalised feelings. But having Erix here was both the biggest blessing and an equally terrible allure.

The war inside of me wasn’t helping me make sense of the actual battle I had to face. But then it clicked. The draw to Erix had little to do with our past, and everything to do with that fact that I finally had shared the heavy weight of truth that pushed down on me.

This was what I craved, the openness, the ability to share a problem I had previously taken so long to get used to and was forced to forgo.

“I have no right to ask you to stay and help me,” I said, forcing the words out and making them sound like I actually meant them. “But I admit that having someone here to share this burden with is… a relief.”

“Eroan does not know about this?” Erix asked, surprise creasing his handsome face.

“No, and neither does Jesibel. She’s been through enough; I wouldn’t put this upon her. I caused this problem, so it’s my responsibility to fix it.”

“Maybe you enjoy the burden then, but as you said, I am here now to share it.” Erix stood too, towering over me to the point that my neck tilted just to keep his gaze. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Shivers passed over my skin so powerfully, I wondered if Erix’s gaze at my arms was because he noticed.

“I think it’s best you leave,” I replied. “It isn’t safe for you to be tangled in this web too.”

“Is that another command?” Erix asked, all without moving from his seat. “Or will you allow me to make a decision of my own?”

I swallowed down the urge to retract my statement. “Tell no one, Erix. Not Althea, Gyah, Cassial or his Nephilim. This isn’t for them to know. I will find a way to solve this issue that doesn’t involve you or anyone else. This is my problem alone to face. I opened the gate. I destroyed the keys–”

“You only did what you believed youhadto do.”