Page 1 of 12 Years: My Messed-up Love Story

Mumbai is a vibrant city full of options. However, it offers limited choices when it comes to committing suicide. You can do the usual—slit your wrists, hang from a ceiling fan or pop a handful of sleeping pills—but none of these have the essence of Mumbai in them. These options are also somewhat lame. Nobody would even notice. She wouldn’t notice. And neither would her parents.

I wanted to go out with a bang, literally. I wanted her to see how she had wrecked, shredded, ground and crushed my heart when she left.

Maybe the Bandra–Worli Sea Link? That’s dramatic enough to make the headlines.

‘Saket Khurana, thirty-four-year-old struggling stand-up comedian jumps off the Bandra–Worli Sea Link after getting dumped.’

She will care then, won’t she?

Except that the stupid Sea Link isn’t high enough. What if I don’t die? What if I fall those fifty-odd feet into the sea, and the Koli fishermen who live nearby rescue me? Then they would become the heroes of the story instead.

‘Koli fishermen save failed stand-up comedian, unsuccessful in his marriage, career, love and suicide attempt.’

No, that wouldn’t work. She’d probably become even more convinced that dumping me was the right decision.