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Then she walks out, and another woman in scrubs walks in. “Hi, Emma. Can you tell me your full name and date of birth?”

“Emma Tucker. June 29, 2003.”

“Okay, thank you. I’m Shari. I’ll be doing your ultrasound today. Anything you want me to know before we get started?” She sets up the screen and then puts a pair of gloves on.

“No, I don’t think so. I’m guessing you know I had some bleeding and cramping today, so nothing else to report.”

I’m lying down with a gown on and a blanket over my lap. She pulls down the blanket to my hips and moves the gown to rest right under my breasts.

“Perfect. Okay, so just relax, and let’s get a look at this baby.”

She squirts some liquid on my belly and starts to smear it around with the Doppler. The baby’s heartbeat fills the room, and I release a breath I didn’t realize I was holding in.

The baby is wiggling around and looks like maybe sucking a thumb. I can see the features more clearly than the last ultrasound we had.

“Would you mind getting a few pictures for me to take home? My boyfriend isn’t here, and we usually do all of my appointments together.” I think this is the first time I’ve referred to Archie as my boyfriend.

“Of course. Do you live here in town?” she asks.

“No, I’m from Oklahoma. I go to Walker University. I’m in town for a golf tournament with my team.”

“Oh, wow. That’s fun. Although this isn’t so much fun, huh? You had some bleeding and cramping, right?”

“That’s right.” I watch the screen and then see the baby. “Hi, nugget.”

My eyes water. I wish Archie were here to see this. But also, I just wish he were here.

“Baby looks good. Although I’m not a doctor so he’ll go over the results with you. Do you know the sex of the baby?”

“No, not yet, but I don’t want to know without my boyfriend.”

“You got it.” She wipes off the Doppler and sets it on the cart, then grabs some tissues and hands them to me. “You’re all set. Someone will come get you and take you back to your room. Good luck, Emma.” She smiles.

“Thank you,” I reply.

She walks out, and minutes later, the girl who brought me here enters. “You ready to go?”

“Ready as ever.” I laugh.

My anxiety has decreased significantly after I saw the baby and heard the heartbeat. When I get back to the room, I should at least call my parents and let them know what’s going on. After I talk to the doctor, I’ll call Archie again .

We reach the room, and the girl hooks the IV back on the pole. “Do you need anything before I go?”

“Um, I don’t think so.”

“Do you want me to get you some fresh ice water?”

“Oh, yes, that sounds good.”

“You got it. Be right back.”

She leaves the room, and I reach for my phone on the rolling table next to the gurney.

Archie still hasn’t responded, so I pull up my parents’ number and press the green button to call.

My mom answers after a few rings. “Hey, Em. Aren’t you supposed to be on the course right now?”

“Hey, Mom. Yes, but I had a little incident today. I had some cramping and some bleeding, so they sent me to the hospital.”

My mom gasps. “Oh my God, Em. Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” I can hear the panic in her voice, which is why I should have waited to call her until I had more information.

“I’m good. The baby is good. They think it was likely dehydration, but we’re still waiting to get the blood work, and I just had an ultrasound. I’m guessing the doctor will be in here soon—or I’m hoping anyway. I really don’t want to have to stay overnight. I want to get home.”

She releases a breath, and then I hear Dad in the background say, “Oh, thank God. Emma, please call us as soon as you see the doctor.”

“I will let you know when I have more information.”

“Have you called Archie yet? He’s at the combine, isn’t he?” Dad asks.

“Yes, he is. I tried getting ahold of him, but he hasn’t replied yet, and I’m not really sure what he has going on today. I don’t want him to be distracted or worried about me though until I have more to tell him.”

“Honey, you need to keep trying to reach him,” Mom says.

“I will, I promise.”

“Do you want us to try to call him?” Dad asks .

“No, I’ve texted and called. If he can have his phone on him, he’ll see me calling.”

A new doctor in white a lab coat walks into the room.

“I have to go. The doctor just came in. I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, we love you. Call us back as soon as you can. You know I’ll be here worrying until you do. And if they want to keep you overnight, we’ll come down.”

“Mom, gotta go. Love you.” I disconnect the call before she can reply.

I look up at the doctor. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem at all. My name is Dr. Romano, I’m the chief obstetrician here at the hospital. I heard you had quite the afternoon. Will you go over the details of your day?”

I restate the events that led me to be in this hospital bed and answer a few more questions about my pregnancy and family history while Dr. Romano listens.

“Is everything okay with the baby?” I ask, watching as Dr. Romano looks at the tablet in her hand.

She looks down at me and smiles. “Your blood work looks normal, and the ultrasound looks good, and the baby’s heart rate is good, but we did want to mention that there might be a small hole in the baby’s heart. Has your doctor mentioned that to you?”

My entire body freezes.

Hole. Heart.

Sunny.

The one thing I worried about with this pregnancy has just washed over this room like a black cloud. My chest tightens, and I feel like I might be sick.

All of a sudden, I’m nine years old again, sitting in a sterile waiting room with a stranger and feeling so very alone.

My baby’s heart. I can picture it already. The surgeries, the worry. The dread of always thinking the worst is about to happen.

I can’t reply, so I just shake my head .

“Okay, I’m going to send the report to your doctor back in Oklahoma. They can schedule some additional tests to monitor you further. You should be okay to be discharged tonight and go back with your team.”

“Thank you.” I can’t bring myself to tell her about my sister right now.

She places a hand on my arm. “There’s no need to panic.

When you get back to Oklahoma, you can have a fetal cardiogram and get a better idea of what you’re dealing with.

It is something that happens and often resolves on its own.

Right now, the baby looks good. Strong heartbeat, good growth.

But like I said, get an appointment scheduled with your doctor when you get home. ”

I nod and clear my throat. “Okay, thank you. I need someone to let my team trainer know I’m ready, and I need to get in touch with my coach and let her know I’m being discharged. Do you know when that will be happening?”

“We’ll go ahead and get the paperwork started and get you out of here as soon as we can. I know you have a flight to catch tomorrow, and I’d prefer you get a good night’s rest tonight.”

“Okay , thanks.”

“Take care of yourself, Emma. If you have any problems tonight, don’t hesitate to come back in.” She walks out before I can reply.

My hands are shaking a little as I text my coach, telling her I’m ready to go. She replies right away, saying she’s walking into the hospital.

I feel like I’m in a daze. Sitting here, thinking about everything she just told me. Thinking about my sister. Panic is rising, and I’m starting to feel like I can’t breathe. When my sister died, I remember that feeling inside of me. It hurt so bad, and I never wanted to feel like that again.

In the months I’ve been pregnant, I’ve accepted, bonded, and allowed myself to get so excited about our little nugget. I truly don’t think I will survive it if something is wrong .

Coach walks in, and my gaze snaps to hers. “Hey, Emma. How are you feeling?”

I sit up in the bed. “I’m okay. I haven’t had any issues since I’ve been here, so that’s good.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. They’re working on discharge papers now? And they say you can travel tomorrow?”

“Yeah, they’re working on everything now, and said I’ll be good for tomorrow. She told me to get some rest tonight, so when I get back to the hotel, I’ll probably just go right to bed.”

“Yes, that’s a good idea. We can get you something to eat if you’re up to it.”

“I’ll probably go to bed.”

“Emma, we need to talk about this. I need to understand how you are pregnant and I didn’t know.

As your coach, any changes, especially physically, I need to be made aware of.

We could have made changes or had certain provisions available for you.

It was negligent on your part for not telling me.

I understand why you didn’t, but this could have been worse than it was, and I wouldn’t have known what was going on. ”

“I know, and I’m sorry. It was such a shock at first that I wasn’t really sure what to do.

I was just trying to get through as much of the year as I could before the baby was born.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to finish out the season, even though I was cleared to play by my doctor, but I also wasn’t sure how this was all going to affect my scholarship. ”

“Understood . We can talk about that when we get back to campus. I’ll need to review protocol on this because I’ve never been in a situation like this before. Can I ask if your roommates knew?”

I shake my head. “Mia and Peyton had no idea. Livi was with me when I took the test, so she knows.”

“I see. And who is the father?”

“His name is Archie Griffith.”

“Archie Griffith, the football player?”

“Yes, that’s him.” I nod .

“Interesting. Did his coach know about the baby?”

“Not that I’m aware of. I think he would have told me if he had said something to his coach, but I asked him to keep it quiet until I could figure out what to do with my scholarship and whatnot.”

She inhales deeply. “I can see how this would all be somewhat complicated. Isn’t he going into the draft?”

“He is. He’s at the combine right now actually.”

“Well, Emma, you have a lot to deal with, it seems. The last thing you need is a lecture from me. So, let me find out what we need to do for you, and we’ll meet sometime this week. I think it’s safe to say that you shouldn’t be at practice until you’re feeling better and you’ve seen your doctor.”

“Yes, ma’am . I understand. For what it’s worth, I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“You know, Emma, I’ve been coaching for a long time, and I know my players have had a lot of secrets over the years.” She sighs. “But I do think you’re my first pregnancy.”

She walks over to the bed and takes my hand in hers. “I’ll miss you this season, but I still expect to see you.”

“I will be around for sure. Once we know what’s happening and what my doctors say, we can figure it out, right?”

“Absolutely. And, Emma, congratulations on the baby.” She squeezes my hand, then leans in for a hug.

My freaking eyes tear up again. “Thanks, Coach. It’s certainly been wild.”

“I hope Archie has been supportive. He’s had a lot going on with his season.”

“He’s the best, seriously. I lucked out in the baby daddy department.” I snort.

“Glad to hear it. Okay, let’s get you out of here so you can get some sleep. These hospital beds are the worst.”

A few minutes later, the discharge nurse comes in, and I sign everything I need to sign to be released. They tell me they’ve already sent my records to my doctor in Oklahoma .

Focusing on everything they’re telling me is keeping me distracted from my panic, but it still there, lingering. I need to call Archie.