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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

AMEDEO

Practice was about as confusing as the game, but the woman Tucker had pointed out immediately called me over to sit with her and began explaining things in a way I could understand. Jonah had been very…thorough. And detailed. But in spite of him trying to use terms I understood, the lingo was so much that I was lost after thirty seconds, and I wasn’t brave enough to ask him to explain what everything meant.

“…and that right there is basically their version of high-sticking,” she said, pointing to where Ford was being scolded after almost slashing Cassidy’s brother across the face. “It’s called butt-ending. They have these sharp-as-fuck spikes, which help them grip the ice so they can push forward, but they’re dangerous as hell.”

I grimaced. “How often do they get hurt?”

She laughed. “Oh, honey. It’s hockey. You don’t get into this game unless you want to fuck yourself and everyone else up. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they care about the game. It’s only been a couple of years since para-hockey has taken off and gone pro, but people are really into it. I think it’s a nice reminder that disabled dude-bros are still dude-bros. They just do the same thing as the NHL guys, except they’re sitting down. Which,” she said, tilting her head to the side in thought, “is a little more wild because they’re sitting on a literal weapon.”

It made sense. I watched them crash into each other several times, and my ribs hurt in sympathy. I made a mental note to watch an NHL game at some point so I could compare notes. I wanted to understand all of it for Tucker.

“Did it take Cooper a long time to adjust to the difference between standing hockey and this?”

She frowned at me, then shook her head. “ Oh , no, hon. Cooper hadn’t touched an ice skate before his accident. His therapist suggested he join the team because he was in a pretty bad spiral. He was an active guy before it happened. Hiking every weekend, running marathons, did a couple of salsa dance competitions a few years back.” I could hear the grief in her voice.

“What happened?” The moment the words came out, I slapped a hand over my mouth. “I’m sorry. I know that question is r-rude.”

“No, it’s fine.” She smiled at me. “He was at the wrong place at the wrong time. There was this big street festival going on, and he was meeting his girlfriend, but he was running late. He darted across the road and didn’t hear the car coming. It wasn’t going that fast. It just hit him at the right angle and flipped him. He landed on his upper back, and the force of it broke his spine.”

My stomach twisted. “Oh God.”

“He’s been through a dozen surgeries, and I don’t think he’s given up hope that someday there will be a miracle and he walks unassisted again, but I think he’s mostly moved on to being grateful he retained some upper-body strength and movement. And while I will never be grateful for the accident, we were kind of estranged before it happened, and that’s changed.”

“Why?” Oh my God, when was I going to stop asking these questions?

She didn’t seem bothered. “He was kind of a dick before everything. Didn’t love the fact that I fell for a woman.”

My insides felt like they were shriveling up. Was that why he’d been giving me odd looks all night? Only…he seemed to be very close with Tucker, who was most definitely queer before he met me, so…

“He never explained to me what changed, but I appreciate that he did. And he was easy to forgive. He practically raised me. I doubt I’d be where I am today without him, and I didn’t want to lose him because he had his head lodged deep in his too-tight asshole.”

I covered my laugh as my gaze moved across the ice. I could see Cooper—a bit of his ginger hair poking out from the bottom of his helmet. He was leaning over, talking to the goalie, who tapped his arm gently and knocked their heads together.

My gaze immediately strayed back to Tucker after that. He was on the far side of the rink with his head bowed low near Ford’s. Their conversation looked intense because when the coach blew his whistle, neither of them moved.

“That’s it for the night,” Cassidy said.

It hadn’t felt like any time had passed at all. I stood with her, and her arms tentatively opened for a hug. It was too easy to lean in, and it felt good. I didn’t have anything like this back home. I loved my sister, but she wasn’t a hugger. And I didn’t have any real friends. Everyone in my life was so wrapped up in their own business that they’d lost any semblance of connection.

“When do you go back?” she asked.

My stomach flopped. “Oh. Uh…” My plane ticket had me there for another six days, but I already knew I wasn’t going to make that flight. “I’m not sure yet. I’ve been thinking about sticking around.” Most likely. Assuming that Tucker really and truly meant it when he said he wanted me to stay.

“Well, I hope I see you again this week.” She winked at me. “I like you. We should do lunch while you’re here.”

I had no idea what to do with that strange butterfly feeling in my chest, so I let it sit with me as I hunkered back down on the benches and waited. The rink was so quiet that I became profoundly aware of the ringing in my ears, and I had half a mind to sneak into the locker rooms to find Tucker just for some distraction.

Bzzt! Bzzt!

I jumped half a foot, then dug my phone out of my pocket. I didn’t recognize the number, and my heart sank. I’d blocked Bryce, but there was every chance this was him again. Or it was something else. Maybe it was work. Maybe they were going to tell me to get my ass back to the office, or I was fired.

Maybe there was an emergency with Alessia and it was the paramedics. Or the police.

My anxiety was too high to ignore it.

“Hello?”

“Baby—”

Shit. Shit shit shit shit…

“Deo? Are you there?”

I took a deep breath, then swiped on my phone screen until the call began recording. “I’m pretty sure I have enough evidence now to get a restraining order against you.”

Bryce laughed. “For what? Making a phone call to my boyfriend?”

I almost choked on my tongue. “I am not your boyfriend.”

“You know this little town is not cute, right? Like, who even chooses to live in a place like this? There’s a single supermarket and one bar. It’s embarrassing.”

My heart began to thunder in my chest. “A-are you… You’re here?”

He laughed. “I might be. Or maybe I’m fucking with you. Who knows, Amedeo. But I will tell you if you agree to quit playing this little cat-and-mouse game with me.”

My tongue felt like it was trying to stick to the roof of my mouth and cut off my air supply. I wouldn’t let him do this. I wouldn’t let him get to me. “I think I could definitely get you on stalking charges now.”

“Baby, listen?—”

“Stop fucking calling me that! I’m not your goddamn baby!” My voice echoed around the rink, and I forced myself to take another deep breath. “I hate you.”

He snorted. “You and I both know you don’t mean that. You have no spine, Deo. Which I kind of liked. It makes it easy to bend you over my lap and spank your ass until you decide to behave. And trust me, when you beg me to take you back, you’re going to have to work your useless little ass off to get me to forgive you.”

I felt sick to my stomach, but I wasn’t going to give in. Not now. Not ever. Even if Tucker turned me out tonight and told me he never wanted to see me again, I was done with Bryce. I was done with him tormenting me and making me doubt myself. I was done letting him convince me I wasn’t worthy of a good man.

Fuck him.

“Uh, hello?”

I sucked in a breath, then took all the emotion out of my voice. “Is there something you want, or did you just call to waste my time?”

“Darling, I don’t think you understood what I just?—”

“Yes,” I interrupted. I closed my eyes, pictured Tucker’s smile, and felt strong. “I understood you just fine. It’s your same old boring bullshit, and it’s starting to make me feel sorry for you. I mean, if you are here, that means you flew thousands of miles across the country to beg me to take your sorry ass back. If you’re not here, it means that your life is so pathetic and sad that you’re making up lies to try and get under my skin because your little fuck toy of the week isn’t giving you enough attention. Which wouldn’t surprise me. At some point, your hot little fuck toys are going to realize they don’t want some aging leech who can’t do anything for himself.”

He growled. “Watch your fucking mouth.”

“No.”

“ What ?”

“I said no.”

He choked softly, then said, “You’re going to be so, so sorry for that.”

“I’m shaking,” I said flatly. I was shaking. I felt like I was overdosing on adrenaline, but it wasn’t because I was afraid anymore. It was because I was finally and truly done.

“Hey, sweetness.” That voice was the one I’d wanted to hear. I spun and saw Tucker walking toward me, his face a mask of concern. “You good?”

“Mm. I’m alright. Could be better.” I reached for him the moment he was close enough that I could curl my fingers into the front of his shirt and tug him close.

“Who the fuck are you talking?—”

“Shut up.” I held the phone away from my ear and leaned into Tucker, who wrapped both arms around me. “You smell like hotel soap.”

He laughed and pulled back, plucking the phone from my hand, and I let him take it. ‘You okay?’ he mouthed.

I nodded. “Just dealing with some trash.”

His gaze flickered down to the phone, and then he pressed it to his ear. “Sorry, Amedeo can’t continue this call. He’s about to get railed within an inch of his life.”

“Who the fuck are you?” I was able to hear through the speaker.

Tucker just laughed, then ended the call and shoved my phone into his pocket before putting his hands on my hips. His pocket immediately began to buzz, over and over and over, but he ignored it as he cradled my cheeks. “You’re shaking.”

“It’s Bryce. He’s…being a dick,” I said with a shrug. I wished I had a better word for it, but that was good enough.

Tucker frowned. “Why’d you answer?”

“I didn’t know it was him. He keeps calling me from burners.”

He brushed a thumb under my bottom lip. “Let’s get you a new number tomorrow.”

Leaning into him, I breathed in the scent of him again and basked in his warmth as I felt his pocket continue to vibrate. “He’s still calling.”

“Mmhm. Want to turn it off?”

“If there’s an emergency, my sister needs to reach me.”

Tucker eased me back by the shoulders. “Text her and give her my number.” He used two fingers to tilt my chin up slightly. My shaggy hair fell into my eyes, and he laughed, pushing it aside. “Then you can turn off your phone and worry about everything tomorrow.”

I pushed onto my toes and into a kiss. He yanked me against him, using my body to keep himself steady as he rocked forward and eased his tongue into my mouth. Off in the distance, I swore I could hear more wolf whistles, but I didn’t care. I was happy.

Even Bryce’s bullshit couldn’t put a damper on this. Especially not when Tucker was here, holding me like I meant something.

“Come on,” Tucker said after a long beat. He was a little flushed and breathing heavily. “Let’s get home.”

* * *

Home meant his place, and I didn’t realize that I hadn’t questioned what he meant until I was pulling into the parking spot not too far from his condo’s front door. He let me take a minute to text Alessia now that Bryce had stopped blowing up my phone, and then I turned mine off and felt relief for the first time in a long while.

“Let’s head in,” Tucker said, grabbing my hand to kiss my wrist. “I need to get out of my legs before the rest of my limbs detach from my body and run away.”

I snorted at the mental image and palmed my keys as Tucker climbed out and grabbed his bag from the back seat. It felt familiar now, following him inside. The place was quiet and dark as I kicked my shoes off at the door, and there was a tension hanging in the air that I hadn’t noticed while I was stressed about Bryce.

“You okay?”

Tucker glanced over his shoulder at me, brows furrowed. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Gut feeling?”

His mouth opened, then closed on a sigh. He reached out, snagging me by the belt loops, and tugged until I was pressed up against his body. “I like your gut feelings.”

“Is it me?”

He smiled as he shook his head, then kissed me softly—a lingering press of lips that made me feel sleepy and slow and so good. “It’s not you. You’ve been the best part of my week.”

“That’s…”

“Too much?”

I bit my lip. “A lot. But I don’t think I hate it.”

Tilting his head to the side, he wrapped one hand around the back of my neck. “My husband with his shaggy, wild hair and his cute little dimpled face?—”

“Uhg.”

He laughed and leaned in, nipping at my jaw. “A tight, round ass that bounces when I fuck it. Jumpy abs that twitch every time I touch them.” He demonstrated, and fuck, he was right. They did. “A mouth I could devour for days if I didn’t need to eat, and sleep, and shit.”

I laughed again, and he caught the sound with his tongue in a messy kiss.

“A heart bigger than anyone I’ve ever met. And a past that wasn’t kind enough to you. You’ve been the best part of my day since you came into town, and I was not expecting that from the black-market hooker I thought stole my kidney.”

I burst into a fit of giggles. “Oh my God, stop .”

“No.” He smiled at me. “My life feels less complicated now. And I’d like you to stay in it.”

His words were kind—they were the sort of words I’d wanted to hear for so long. But they were also like a bucket of ice. My gut clenched. “I want that, but…Bryce might be here, and I don’t want to bring drama into your life.”

He froze. “Wait, like…here? At my house?”

“In town. He’s been stalking me, I think. I don’t know if he actually flew out here or if he’s just trying to scare me.”

Tucker bowed his head, his shoulders tense, and then he looked up at me with fire in his eyes. “I dare him. I fucking dare him.”

The door opened behind us, and I jumped, Tucker wrapping a protective arm around me as he spun. But it wasn’t the evil shadow of my ex. It was Boden on his crutches, moving very slowly with Ford right behind him.

“Jesus Christ , I was about to knock you two out,” Tucker gasped.

Boden frowned. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Long story,” Tucker said, waving him off. “But we might need to get into a fistfight tonight.”

Boden gave a heavy sigh. “Whatever you need, bud.”

Pulling me back so the two of them could pass, Tucker turned me around in his arms. “I have to deal with some personal shit right now. Do you feel safe to hang out?”

“Like, here?”

“Or in my bed. Waiting for me.” He dipped his head low and kissed my neck. “A little needy, maybe?”

I groaned. “I can do that.”

He took my hands in his. “Then come with me. I’m going to get you comfy, go talk to the boys about a couple things, then I’m gonna make you come until you fall asleep.”

I shivered hard and let him tug me down the hallway and into his room. With purpose, he tugged at my shirt and trousers until they were off, pooled in a little pile by the end of the bed. He handed me a T-shirt, which hung low over my hips, barely covering my dick, which was tenting my boxers, and he stared for a good long while before grinning at me and pulling his own shirt off.

I never got tired of seeing his naked skin. I was exhausted from head to toe and sore from the tension I’d been holding since Bryce called, but I was up for anything he wanted to do.

Literally.

“Here,” he said, shoving his phone at me before easing me down to the bed. I crawled under the covers as he perched on the edge of the mattress and began to take his legs off. “You can entertain yourself with my weird, curated Instagram feed if you want. Or, I don’t know, make a bunch of international calls to foreign psychics. Whatever floats your boat, okay?”

I laughed softly as I watched him shift his legs to the side. He reached down for something, and then I saw the hesitation on his face.

“Tucker? What’s wrong?”

“I…” He swallowed heavily and twisted his body, and I saw him holding two very short versions of his prosthetics. “Will these be weird?”

I shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“Will this go away?” he asked, rubbing the heel of his free hand over my dick.

It kicked hard against the pressure. “I very much doubt it. And…” I sat up a little. “I hope you trust me.”

His face shifted, and then he nodded and flopped over for another kiss. “I do.”

I watched out of the corner of my eye as he put them on. They were similar to his regular prosthetics, only when he shifted off the bed, he was barely four feet tall. He took a few steps back, and I understood why he was worried.

It was different. He walked with a waddle since he had no knees, and it gave me the impression that he was tiny. But he was still Tucker.

He was still mine .

I rolled over toward him and made grabby hands until he came back. “Not weird.”

“Liar,” he said, pressing the word against my lips.

I shook my head as I kissed him back. “Not weird. Different, but still you. I like all of you.”

He stared for a long beat, then knocked our foreheads together and breathed in. “Wish me luck that Bodie doesn’t flip out on me and threaten to end our friendship.”

“We can talk about it after if you want. But good luck.”

He kissed me one last time before slipping out the door, and I rolled onto my back, listening to his prosthetics gently thump against the floor as he headed toward his friends. And then it was quiet again. I could hear the whirr of the fan and some sort of electric hum coming from somewhere, but nothing else.

There was no shouting, no threats, no anger.

Then Tucker’s phone buzzed, and I saw my sister’s name on the screen.

Alessia: This better not be a joke.

Me: It’s not. It’s Deo. Bryce has been calling my phone non-stop all night from burners. He says he’s in town but I’m not sure I believe him.

Alessia: I’ll make some calls and find out. When are you coming home?

Me: I don’t know. Things are changing.

Alessia: I figured as much. I’ll put in for some time off so I can come see you.

Me: You’re not going to fight me about coming back?

Alessia: Can you look me in the eye and tell me this is still home?

Me: I’m sorry.

Alessia: I’m not. I love you and I want you to be happy. But leave this text here because I need this man to know that if he so much as moves a hair on your head, I will come for him. I don’t care about jail. I will survive easily. Give me a week and I’ll be running prison.

I pressed the phone to my forehead as I laughed, enjoying the reminder of why I loved my sister so much. We were only six years apart, but she’d been more of a mother to me than mine had ever been, and I knew right then the only hard part about saying goodbye to home was leaving her.

Me: I’ll make sure he reads this. I’m probably changing my number tomorrow, so keep an eye out for my text. Love you.

Alessia: Love you too. See you soon.

That was the only see you soon I’d gotten recently that hadn’t made my skin crawl. Lying all the way back, I allowed my body to relax from my eyebrows down to the bottoms of my feet. It was easy to do, nestled in Tucker’s bed, surrounded by his scent. His blanket was heavy, and his room was the perfect temperature, and it wouldn’t be long until he was crawling in beside me.

* * *

I was half-asleep, dozing to the adorable cat videos on Tucker’s Instagram, when I heard the door open and shut. For a moment, I thought it was part of a dream, so I didn’t move. Then I heard the thud of his gait on the floor, and I started to drift back to reality.

“Oh, baby,” he said quietly. Him calling me that didn’t make me want to hurl the way it did when Bryce said it. I started to roll toward him, and he caught me with his massive hands. “No, don’t move.”

“Mm, but you wanted to fool around.”

He laughed. “You sound like a grandpa. Fool around, huh? Do a little necking?” I heard a couple of soft thuds, then Tucker used his arms to heave himself onto the bed and tucked beneath the covers. He was very warm and soft as he curled around me. “Can we save it for morning? I don’t have any lessons tomorrow, and I think I want to spend the day fooling around and necking.”

I laughed, sleep a heavy weight on my shoulders as I tucked into his embrace. He kissed my temple as I nuzzled against his neck. “Mmkay. Everything good?”

“I don’t know,” he said from behind a sigh. “But I don’t want to worry about that right now. I just want to hold you.”

“M’all yours,” I mumbled.

His grip around me tightened, and as his breathing began to ease, so did mine. I was safe. I was happy.

I was his.