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CHAPTER NINETEEN

TUCKER

In bed with Amedeo was the only place I wanted to be ever again. Nothing compared to the way his skin felt against mine. We took our time, moving slowly to undress and trading easy kisses as I peeled away his shirt and pants.

When I had him down to his boxers, he tugged me onto the bed, then twisted his body to straddle me, rucking up my shirt to play with my nipples as he sucked on the spot where my pulse was pounding.

“You’re so hot,” he gasped, rocking his hips in my lap. He was hard as steel, the wet tip of his cock poking through his boxers and pressing against my stomach.

God, he felt so good. His weight was a ballast, keeping me grounded. His skin was smooth and soft and delicate as I dragged my blunt nails up and down his back. Gripping the back of his shaggy hair, I tilted his head to the side and sank my teeth into the tendon of his neck, obsessed with the way he groaned and went limp against me.

“Help me get naked,” I growled.

He nodded, frantic hands moving to peel my shirt all the way off before attacking my jeans with the same vigor. He slid off my legs, kneeling between my spread thighs, and tugged them all the way down until they pooled at my feet.

“Off?” he said, nudging the side of my prosthetic.

“Let me show you.” With practiced ease, I hit the buttons on the side, rolled down the stump sleeves, and eased my limbs from the sockets. When I was free, I let my legs fall to the ground, then gripped Amedeo by the back of his neck.

I urged him back on top of me as I fell onto the mattress and groaned as his warm body pressed against mine.

“How do you want to do this? What do you like?” He was breathless and gasping as I rolled my hips and thrust my cock against his.

I turned my head to nip at his jaw before answering. “I’m easy, sweetheart.”

He grinned at me, looking down with his big doe-eyes. “I like both, but I really like to be on the bottom. I know that makes me a total stereotype—” He started to tense up again.

I kissed him until his body relaxed. “No. There’s no such thing. You like what you like and fuck what anyone else thinks, okay? And for the record, you have a gorgeous ass, and I can’t wait to see what it feels like when I’m buried inside of you.”

His breath hitched in his chest as he looked down at me. “O-okay. Okay, yeah. How do you want me?”

He was asking without asking how I needed him to be so I could do this, and I appreciated that he wasn’t going to assume what I was capable of. Or what I wasn’t.

I liked it all sorts of ways, of course, but I really wanted to get him on his hands and knees. “You trust me, right?”

He nodded, biting his lip.

I dragged a palm down his spine, cupping his ass and giving it a squeeze. My other hand joined, and I spread his cheeks, watching as his pink flush darkened, crawling from his neck to his face. I gave his ass a firm jiggle, then let him go.

“Turn over and tuck your knees under you. If you need a pillow, take as many as you want.” I didn’t let him go yet, even when he tried to pull back. “But kiss me first. Then I’m going to get the lube and a toy.”

He gulped, then surged in to give me what I asked for. The kiss was wet, sloppy, frantic in a way that told me when he let me have him, he was going to be running on all instinct. I couldn’t fucking wait.

After a short forever of literally devouring his lips and tongue, I pulled back, gasping for air. He looked about as feral as I felt, his hair mussed and wild and somehow even thicker. I shoved it back away from his face, then took him by the chin.

“Alright, sweetheart?”

His cheeks pinked, and he nodded. “Mm.”

“Then turn over for me. I’m going to get you all worked up, then I’m going to calm you down.”

His entire body gave a single shudder. “I’m already really worked up.”

I grinned, the smile feeling a little sharp. “Oh, trust me, baby. You don’t know what worked up is.”

He stared for a long moment, and then, without another word, he turned over and positioned himself exactly the way I’d asked him to. Christ. I groaned loudly and ran a single hand down his spine. “Love the way you listen to me, sweetheart. I love the way you do what I ask.”

“Because you’re doing it for me. Not t-to humiliate me to m-make yourself feel better.”

A white-hot flicker of anger erupted in my chest. Yeah, when I saw that Bryce guy, he wasn’t going to walk away as pretty as he walked up. After all, what was a little assault charge on my record if it meant giving Amedeo the justice he deserved for God only knew how many years of that bullshit?

But now wasn’t the time to think about that. I had a man to show how good all of this could be with me. How good it would always be with me…so long as he gave me the chance.

Taking a breath, I leaned over and kissed the round globe of his ass, right on the center of the left side. “I will never, ever humiliate you. Not unless you ask me to, and you’d have to ask really nicely and give me a damn good reason to say yes.”

“I won’t. N-not ever.”

I dipped lower and kissed the back of his thigh, my hand moving upward to fondle his balls, which were heavy and warm. “Then it’s off the table. Forever.” I stroked a touch up over his dick, drinking in his soft groans, and shit .

Yeah. It was fast, but I think I’d fallen for him.

And not just for this, but for everything he was. For everything he made me feel. For everything he deserved and hadn’t gotten. But he would. If he let me, he’d never know another day where he was lonely, or unappreciated, or unloved.

I pulled away before I could get too lost in toying with the fat head of his dick, and I spun on my ass, butt-walking to the edge of the mattress so I could dig into my nightstand. I didn’t have a lot in there, but there were condoms, lube, some wipes, and a couple of toys that got me going on nights I needed to destress.

I had a couple of vibes that were clean but entirely unused, and one specifically that I knew Amedeo was going to like. He was so responsive and so fucking sensitive, and this one had several different patterns to torment him with. It was shaped a bit like a wishbone—thick at the base where it would nestle a few inches into his ass, then a curved end that would press right against his taint.

Fuck, I was already getting worked up just picturing how he was going to respond when I turned it on.

It took me a moment to find it—tucked in the little black faux-velvet bag at the bottom of the drawer under a pile of mail I’d been ignoring for months, and I set it beside me. I grabbed the condoms and lube next, the bottle more than half-full because I just hadn’t really been feeling it lately.

I was feeling it now though. God, I was so hard I could probably fuck a hole in a brick wall if I tried hard enough. I gave my dick a single stroke before turning, using my stumps to scoot me back toward him.

They were sore as I balanced on the ends, but the pain was the perfect amount to keep me from shooting off too early as I watched Amedeo twitch in anticipation. He was so fucking lovely. I wanted to put my mouth everywhere on him.

I settled for a kiss to the base of his spine as I pulled the toy from the bag, then ran the silky edge of it along his balls, then up along his crack, circling his hole. He sucked in his breath and let it out on a moan.

“W-what…what is that?”

“It’s something that’s going to make you feel good, okay? I promise. And if it’s not—if you hate it—you tell me, and we stop immediately.”

His swallow made an actual gulping sound. “I…yeah. Yes. Okay. I trust you.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I—” Uhg, no . I couldn’t say those three words now. Not yet. That would ruin everything. “I can’t wait to make you come,” I told him instead. I kissed his hip, then pulled the toy away and grabbed the lube, flipping open the cap.

Amedeo inhaled sharply again, but this time, he held the breath in his lungs.

Coating the toy, I added a few dollops to my finger, then gently brushed it over his hole. I was never more grateful for the shit-ass vision in my eye. Up this close, I could see everything. I could see the puckered skin twitching, and his thick black, coarse hair there, and the way his body trembled as though waiting for me to do something.

He jumped every time I touched him, but he never pulled away. He always leaned in, seeking more, like he needed me. That feeling could get addicting.

“Let your breath out,” I told him. He did, and then I pushed. He gave a heavy, unchecked groan as my finger slid inside him, and I swirled it gently, coating his insides with slick. His body began to tremble a little more, and I could just make out the way his fingers were clenched in the sheets. “You ready?”

“Mm.” He nodded when he couldn’t get the word out.

I removed my hand, then gripped the toy by the handle and pressed my thumb over the button. It took a second to click on, and the vibrations began—so light they were barely there.

But he’d feel them.

The bulbous tip caught on his rim as I felt along his crack, and then I pushed. He let out a soft cry as the toy slipped in half an inch, and his hips flexed outward toward me. “Oh God,” he said, the words half-garbled. “Oh God .”

Yeah. Just like I thought. “Like that, sweetheart? Feels good?”

“Uhg. Uhg,” he managed.

I pushed it in deeper. The toy was curved at the perfect angle, so just a little more, and…

“Hnngg fuuuu, uh uh uh ,” he babbled, his hips fucking forward, legs spreading more. His cock was touching the sheets, dribbling a mess beneath him.

With a grin, I pulled the little remote out of the bag, then made sure the outside end was pressed right against his taint. That little adjustment had him twitching all over. He was restless, gasping and humping the mattress.

Exactly the way I wanted him. I was gonna work him up so high and fuck him so good he wasn’t going to be able to stay conscious when he came down. He was going to sleep well and in my arms.

And he would never forget this. He would always know that the reason I was here was for him. To give him this. To make sure he always felt good—that he always got what he wanted. I would make up for the years of neglect and abuse and pain he’d suffered.

Whatever roadblocks we’d hit, whatever petty arguments, they would never be like before.

“Breathe,” I told him, and then I pushed the button to change up the pattern and increase the vibration.

He gasped in air, held it, then let it out with a heavy sound rumbling against the back of his throat. His legs kept sliding apart, then sliding together like he couldn’t stop moving.

Fuck, it was gorgeous .

It was getting harder and harder not to shove my dick between his thighs and fuck him that way. Instead, I gripped the base of my cock and squeezed until the urge to come backed off.

“Hnng, T-tuck. Tuck. P-please. I need. I need…” he sobbed.

I leaned over him, rubbing my dick against the back of his thigh as the toy continued buzzing away in that pattern that would allow him to get worked up but not come. “Tell me, sweetheart. Tell me what you need.”

“You,” he gasped. “Need you. Need you.”

My head spun. Not just want me. Need me. The raw, vulnerable honesty of that was too much. I reached down, gripping the toy, fucking him with it for a long, heavy second before pulling it out with a slick pop.

He collapsed down with a grunt as I turned it off and tossed it to the side, but he didn’t roll away. He got his knees back under him and reached behind, spreading his cheeks. His hole was bright, and slick with lube, and slightly open.

I pressed two fingers just past the rim, and he let out a sigh of deep satisfaction. “Need you,” he mumbled again.

I wasn’t going to make him wait, or beg, or wonder if I was really going to give him what he was asking for. Leaning over, I snagged a condom and tore the perforated edge, letting it fall against my palm. I didn’t take more than a second to slide it on, but that second felt like an eternity with him so desperate.

He let out a grunt when I pressed my cock head against his hole, then shifted restlessly as I slicked myself up.

“Patience. I promise it’ll be worth it.” I leaned over and kissed his spine as I stroked myself. Fuck, if this felt good, then being inside him would goddamn transport me to another world.

I took a moment to prepare. If I shot off early, before he was done, I would never forgive myself. I would still make it worth his while, but I swear to God I would put myself in the shame corner until I made it up to him threefold.

“Tucker.” He said my name on the edge of a desperate whine.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” I started.

He twisted his head back to look at me, his eyes barely visible under his thick, heavy fringe that obscured most of his forehead. But I could see they were wide and a little unsure. “Are you okay?”

Oh God, he was worried about me? I leaned forward, snagging his chin—mindful of the awkward angle—and I kissed his lush, sweet mouth. “I’m perfect. I’m going to fuck you so good, Deo. So good.”

He nodded, still dazed, and settled back down. I didn’t slide away this time. I stayed plastered to his back like a little jet pack, and I adjusted my angle just slightly before giving my hips a thrust. The ends of my legs pressed hard into the mattress, the pain almost entirely eclipsed by the pleasure I felt the second I was inside him.

Fuck. He was warm. He was tight . His muscles were pulsing, clenching around me like they couldn’t help it. My vision went white, and I squeezed my eyelids shut as I thrust forward again.

He grunted. No, wait. That was me. Fuck. I made that same sound again as I pulled out, then fucked forward even harder. My skin slapped his, and oh . There was his moan—soft, muffled by the pillow, matching the trembling way his body began to move with mine.

I wasn’t going to last, but I didn’t think he was either. Shuffling downward slightly, I kissed along his spine as I eased him up higher onto his elbows. He obeyed beautifully—unthinking, as if on instinct—and he spread his legs a little so I could balance against him while my hand moved to his front.

His stomach jumped as my fingers passed down his coarse hair, and then I took his cock against my palm.

“Oh, oh, hnng fuck. Tucker. Tucker. Please .”

My name was like a hymn on his lips, melodic and gorgeous as he begged. I squeezed him tightly the way I was coming to learn he liked, and then I began to stroke him in time with my hips. Hurry, hurry , I thought as loudly as I could. Come for me, Deo .

I was too fucking close to last much longer.

I kept my eye shut. If I could see him, even a little, that would be it for me. It was bad enough I could picture him perfectly in my mind—the flush crawling over his skin, the fucked-out bliss on his face, the way his body moved in time with mine.

It was a perfect dance. We were the perfect pair. It would never get better than this.

He had officially ruined me for any other person.

I was in love with him, and there was no denying it now.

My hips began to snap hard, the song of our bodies moving together filled the room. His little grunts and groans were the punctuation in this long paragraph of ecstasy, and I could feel his cock thicken in my hand as he neared the edge.

“I’m…I…please. Let me, let me, let me,” he whispered, begging for release.

I squeezed him harder, moved my hand faster as my hips sped up. I wasn’t even thrusting now. My hips were pressed against his, his body half-lifted with the force as I nudged my cock as deeply into his ass as I could manage.

He squeezed down around me as he let out a heavy grunt…

…and then he came.

His cock kicked and pulsed in my hand, spending beneath him in a thick puddle, and that was it. It was over for the both of us.

My orgasm crashed over me like a vicious tidal wave, stealing my breath, my sight, my hearing. Every sense narrowed down to this one point of pleasure as I filled the condom deep in his ass. His muscles spasmed, milking me for every drop, and I wasn’t even fully aware when I collapsed on him, my breath heaving in my lungs.

I was just cognizant enough to roll to the side so I didn’t crush him, but as if in a panic, he turned and reached for me, his hands frantic as they tugged me close. He rocked his wet, still-hard dick against my stomach like he didn’t want to stop feeling it.

“I’ve got you,” I murmured against his ear as I gripped him again. I stroked him carefully through the aftershocks of pleasure, forcing my eye open to glance down at him. His face was haggard, flushed, his eyes closed. I touched his cheek with my free hand, dragging a finger over his dry, full lips. “I’m not letting you go.”

“Not ever?”

It wasn’t a literal question, so I could nod without feeling like I was lying to him. “Not ever. Not until you ask.”

“I won’t,” he said.

I wanted to tell him that wasn’t fair. He didn’t know that. He couldn’t. But hell, if he felt even a fraction of what I did, maybe he could . Maybe he understood as well as I did right then what this was. What we had.

That it was perfect. It was right.

And it sure as shit felt like a forever.

* * *

For me, creeping away was next to impossible. The fact that I’d been able to sneak out on Amedeo the first time we did this was down to the sheer exhaustion he’d been suffering and nothing to do with my ability to do anything except clank around the room like the fucking Tin Man.

I was not so lucky this time. I debated about wearing my stubbies, but while they were less painful, they made me more prone to toppling over, so instead, I opted for my legs. As I sat on the mattress to adjust the bolts in my ankles, Amedeo groaned and rolled toward me.

“Leaving me alone again?” he asked, voice sleep thick.

I couldn’t help my smile as I dropped my wrench on the bed and twisted around to look at him. His hair was a wild, thick mess, eyes half-lidded, voice heavy from sleep.

He reached a floppy arm toward me, and I grabbed it, pulling his palm to my lips to lay a kiss against the etched lines in his skin.

He smiled, his eyes going half-closed again. “Mm, don’t go.”

With a sigh, I flopped back against the pillows and rolled over to face him. He slipped back into my arms as easily as he’d fallen asleep there, hitching his knee over my hip like he was trying to pin me. Knocking my forehead against his, I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of him. Of us. It lingered in the sheets, and I never wanted to wash them, as disgusting as that was.

“Tucker?”

I squeezed him tighter. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I have lessons this morning.”

“Quit your job. Be my house husband.”

He was very obviously joking and probably not even aware of what he was saying, considering he’d definitely fallen halfway back to sleep, but the idea made me stir in the emotional loins. Not the house part, but the husband. “Don’t tempt me. But I do have to say, long distance isn’t exactly for me. I’m as fragile as a goldfish and jealous as a…thing that gets really jealous. Uh…” I added quickly, “not in a bad, creepy, make you feel trapped way. Just in a I know you’re gorgeous and will probably have men falling all over you when I’m not there to beat them with my hockey sticks kind of way.”

One of his eyes blinked open, and he stared up at me. “Um?”

“Never mind, ignore me.”

“I don’t want to ignore you,” he said very softly. “Maybe I want that. Maybe I want to be asked to stay.”

My heart rate kicked up several beats per minute. “Yeah?”

“I just…have a few loose ends,” he said into my chest, his words trailing off with sleep.

Okay, I wasn’t fucking around now. Yeah, he was half-out, but I needed to know if he was serious.

I shook him gently and waited for him to look up. “Deo. Are you…are you joking?”

Licking his lips, he forced both eyes open. They were crossed a little, and he looked so fucking adorable I wanted to squeeze him ’til he popped like a fat zit. Which, gross, but whatever.

His cheeks flushed deeper the more cognizant his gaze became, and then he cleared his throat. “I know it’s a r-ridiculous idea. People will probably judge us. B-but…but…um…”

I took him by the face and kissed him. “It’s not ridiculous. Or, well, maybe it is, but also who the fuck cares, right? We get to decide what works for us. Screw what anyone else thinks.”

He started to laugh, rolling away from me to take a deep breath. “Can we talk about it later? I know you have to run.”

Shit, he was right. I was already going to be late. “Yes. Whenever you want. But you mean it, right?”

He pressed both hands over his face and took in a trembling breath. “I’m perpetually terrified that I’m overstaying my welcome. Like, are you all being so nice to me because I’m a sorry sack of shit, or?—”

“Deo.” My voice was probably too stern for how vulnerable he was being, but I couldn’t help it.

He dropped his hands and looked at me. “Logically I know that’s not the case, but I have a lot to work on, and I do worry about being a burden. Surely your friends have warned you about diving in too fast with me.”

They hadn’t. “We’re a little different here, sweetheart. My friends would go to the literal molten core of the Earth to protect me if they had to, but they also know me. I’m not the kind of person who gives his heart away because I have no self-control. If I’m falling for someone, it’s for a reason.”

“A-and…and are you?”

“Yes.” I wasn’t going to hesitate on that one. I took him by the chin and leaned in to get a look at him as clearly as my eye could manage. I could see his freckles dotted along his olive skin, and his dark eyes, and his full lips. And his shaggy, thick mess of a mop on his head, which I was so into. “I’ve fallen.”

He swallowed heavily. “I do have to go back home and deal with my ex. He has my apartment, and he won’t leave, and I can’t break the lease unless I’m there. And I have things—important things—that I don’t want to lose. Plus, my sister will literally kill me if I refuse to come home and say goodbye in person, but…”

He trailed off, and I waited, but it was clear he wasn’t going to finish his sentence.

I touched his jaw and drew a line along the rough, rounded edge. “But what?”

He closed his eyes. “I’m afraid. I don’t know what Bryce is capable of. I don’t love him or anything like that. I’m not even sure I ever really did. But the idea of going back there to officially end it all?—”

I quieted him with a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. He made a startled noise, then a pleased hum as he tightened his arms around me. “We’ll come with you.”

Rearing back, Amedeo blinked at me. “We?”

“Well, I can at least get Ford to agree. One of the fuck-face twins might too.”

“The who?”

I laughed. “Jonah and Micah. They’re not actual twins. We call them Irish twins…but they’re not Irish either, so…well. Whatever. Anyway, Micah does tutoring for kids at the blind school in the off season, so he probably can’t take time off, but Jonah can. Bodie’s kind of got a lot on his plate right now, so I doubt he’ll say yes, but I think three will be enough, right? To put the fear of God into your piece-of-shit ex?”

Amedeo stared at me for a long beat. “You’re not joking.”

“Sorry. Did I sound like I was? I know I’m not the best with sarcasm, but?—”

“No. No. Just…” He blew out a heavy puff of air, then bowed his head and knocked into my collarbone. “I’m not used to having, you know. This.”

I knew that, but I wasn’t going to rub his face in it. Digging my fingers into his hair, I held him against me. “Deo. I have to leave. You don’t want to see what’s left of me after the wrath of a hockey mom. But we will talk about this later this afternoon, okay?” I tipped his chin up so he was looking at me. “I want you here. I want you to stay.”

He swallowed, trying to hide a grin. “Okay.”

“We will make a plan, and you won’t ever have to be afraid again.” I held his chin and kissed him before forcing myself to let go and swing my legs back down to the floor.

I felt off-center and entirely unlike myself, but it wasn’t a bad thing. Myself hadn’t been the greatest guy for a long while. Before that night in Vegas, I’d been so angry. I was tired all the time and maybe not the best friend to the people who cared most about me.

I was ready to assume the worst of every single situation I was in. Amedeo—with a single, well-timed blackout drunk night—had flipped my world upside down. His presence alone had allowed me to feel a kind of hope I’d only ever read about in books.

How could I do anything other than give the rest of my life to protect him and make him happy?

“Will you head back to your rental?” I asked, fishing my rink badge out of my nightstand and slinging the lanyard around my neck. I turned to look at him as my fingers curled around my white cane and shoved it into my back pocket.

“I…don’t know. I think so. I need to get some work done and also figure out…stuff.” He hesitated on that last word, and I could only imagine what that meant. His job, for one. His apartment. His things. His family. His friends.

I couldn’t imagine doing what he was offering to do. It would ruin me if I were facing the prospect of leaving here. I bent over for a last kiss, then pulled away and turned, pausing in the doorway.

“Do you need a break from me?”

From this far off, he was nothing more than a blurry blob, but I watched as that fleshy-colored mass sat up halfway. “Do you ?”

I smiled. I wasn’t going to play this game. I wasn’t going to let my insecurity get the best of me. “No.”

He lay back with a heavy thud. “Good. Neither do I. Can I pick you up tonight?”

“We have practice until nine. I usually eat at the sandwich shop across from the rink after I’m done with the kids. Meet me there at seven so we can make out in a booth like teenagers?”

He laughed. “I’ll be there. Text me. I’ll…” He went quiet for a beat, but I let myself be patient as he worked out whatever it was he wanted to say. “I’ll miss you.”

My heart did a quick double beat as I leaned my temple against the doorframe and smiled at him. “I’ll miss you too. See you soon, baby.”

And then, before I could overthink or feel even the tiniest urge to self-sabotage this perfect moment, I turned on my heel and hurried out the door as fast as my semi-mechanical legs would carry me.