Page 38

WAVERLY

“F rankie…” Xander groaned my name in defeat as she dropped into the chair next to mine before our Early American Lit class started while I was playing Duolingo on my phone, waiting for the professor to arrive.

Hej! meant hello in Swedish for the win. Go me.

“You will not believe what happened this morning.”

Her tone had me sighing and setting the phone down. When I glanced over, it was worse than I expected. She actually winced in apology. Which meant—joy—Keene was involved.

“What’d he do this time?” I asked, already shaking my head.

“Well, for starters,” she broke in, looking vexed.

“He called me a traitor and then— then announced that Hope, Oaklynn, and I were dead to him. And finally, right when I was leaving the house, he said he and I were at war because I had called open season by being loyal to my own freaking friend. Can you believe that?”

I blinked at her, trying to make sense of her rambling before I realized, “So he figured out you know?”

She scoffed. “Oh, he figured it out alright. But it gets better. Oaklynn knows too, and probably Damien, as well, by this point. Which means, I’m sure Faith, Raina, and their two boyfriends will learn by the end of the day.”

I sat up a little straighter, growing alarmed. “Wait, how did Oaklynn find out? Did you?—”

“Oh, hell, no,” Xander assured me, reaching out to set a calming hand on my arm. “I told no one. I promise you.”

“Then…?” I shook my head, wondering what the hell had happened.

Gritting out an aggravated sound, Xander sliced her gaze to the ceiling and muttered, “Keene—that irritating, way too smart for his own good Keene —figured out he’d caught a glimpse of you in the house before he went outside to meet with Makenzie or whatever her name was.”

“Makayla,” I corrected.

“Whatever. So he saw your skirt and shirt and the color of your hair, and he deduced that since everyone else on his list of possible suspects had been crossed off as definite no’s, you had to be his mystery girl.

From there, he and Alec came up with a caricature on this new computer program Alec got, and?—”

Sending me an apologetic grimace, she turned her phone on and showed me a picture she must’ve snapped of Alec’s computer screen.

“I’m so sorry, Frankie. It’s probably only a matter of days before he discovers the truth.”

Leaning in to squint at the picture, I shook my head. “There’s not even a face on this person.”

“But it’s totally your body,” she argued, motioning to the dress and the skirt.

I wrinkled my nose. “Those aren’t my clothes; I already returned them to Hope. So I’m never going to wear them again. And my legs are not that long.”

“But they are unnaturally long for your height.”

I sent her a look and shook my head. “No way is he going to figure it out from this .”

Her eyes went intense with worry. “Oaklynn did. That’s how she knows. Plus, both Faith and Raina saw you. They will totally recognize you when he shows this around. Which he will.”

She was right. He was getting too dangerously close to discovery. My pulse began to race, and sweat gathered on the back of my neck.

And yet all I said was, “Hope will warn them to keep quiet, I’m sure.”

Xander lifted her eyebrows. “And you’re not at all worried he’s going to walk into the library one day and realize—wow—you bear a striking resemblance to the composite he made of his mystery girl.”

I scoffed. “No. Because he doesn’t look at me like that.”

Even as a small part of my brain whispered, He sure did on Saturday . I shoved that part away. I was still in denial that those few minutes behind the checkout counter had happened. It’d just been some daydream I’d conjured while bored at work; that was all.

All in my brain.

My crazy, pit-filled brain that lied to me constantly.

“People don’t see what they’re not looking for,” I assured Xander.

I should know. People rarely ever saw me. I hid in plain sight all the time.

“Maybe you should just tell him,” Xander spoke up, making me blink at her in surprise.

Biting her lip, she added, “He’s going to find out.

Too many other people are in on it now, and he’s like a freaking cat with a laser dot.

I just think if he’s going to learn the truth anyway, it should be on your terms.”

My stomach sank over the idea, and she could read all my fears racing across my face.

Moaning a sound of sympathy, she squeezed my arm.

“I’m so sorry, Frankie. It’s really freaking infuriating how perceptive and smart he is.

Ugh, I just—why did it have to be him you grew an infatuation with?

He’s going to get all smug and gloat to everyone, and it’s going to irritate me to no end.

I mean, you do realize how annoying he is, right? ”

“Of course,” I said, scowling at her for bashing him. “I never said he was perfect .”

Just that he was my glimmer.

“Then what the hell do you see in him?” she demanded.

“He’s…invigorating,” I said before I could stop myself. “And so alive and animated. His smile is real and refreshing, and he never stays still. He’s open and completely transparent, never lying or deceiving. He always has something to say, something to do, and he’s just—he’s fun to watch.”

Xander blinked at me, not sure what to say to that.

I sighed again. “When you spend most of your life not engaging and just observing from a distance, you start to get your favorites. And some people…” I shrugged helplessly.

“You can just tell; they have a good center. He’s never cruel to anyone; he’s accepting; he has kind, sensitive, caring moments; and he’s just—he has a good, dependable center. Okay?”

Lips parting as if I’d just opened her eyes to something new, Xander stared at me for a moment before leaning confidentially close. “Holy shit,” she whispered. “How long have you been in love with him?”

Since I was nine , I didn’t answer, when he took my hand during the most frightening grief of my life and made me feel special by telling me he liked weird people.

But aloud, I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “You can’t love someone you don’t really know.”

Xander merely lifted her eyebrows. “Kind of sounds like you know him to me. You’re not even deluding yourself into thinking he’s flawless. You’re perfectly aware he’s…”

“Immature? Aggravating? A complete hound dog? Yeah.” I slumped miserably. “I’m aware.” But he was still Keene, and his heart was pure and beautiful, and it made me happy to watch him be him.

“You should definitely tell him,” Xander decided, nodding encouragingly.

But I shook my head. “I can’t,” I rasped hoarsely. “I couldn’t handle the rejection if he was disappointed.”

She shook her head. “But I don’t think he’d be disappointed. It only took a few weeks for you to become one of my favorite people. You have a good center too, you know. He?—”

“And even if he wasn’t disappointed,” I countered, though I knew he would be because I knew him.

He did not want me. “What do you really think would happen? He doesn’t date.

Ever. There would be no future there.” Nodding out my own assurance, I claimed, “I got my one perfect”— deceitful —“night with him. And I’m okay with that.

I don’t want to ruin it by being greedy for something more that I already know I can’t have. ”

Xander frowned in displeasure before huffing out a breath. She wanted to believe in happily ever after and soul mates. Even after she’d gotten her heart shattered by Liam, I could tell she still wished it were possible.

But she also knew I was right—Keene Dugger was not a happily ever after kind of guy—and she should stop pushing for that.

Thankfully, the professor arrived to start class before she could admit it aloud, and I was able to turn my attention to the front of the room, ending the conversation there.

But it stuck with me, and the more I thought about what she’d told me, the more I worried about how soon he was going to learn the truth.

All of his friends’ girlfriends were going to know soon enough.

And every single one of those girlfriends seemed like the type to share secrets with their boyfriends.

Parker, I could trust to keep his mouth shut. But the rest… They were Keene’s best friends.

Someone was going to spill the beans.

My guts knotted with dread, and I honestly didn’t know what to do.

I’d messed up beyond redemption when I’d let him assume I was someone I wasn’t, and now everything was beginning to snowball out of control.

Karma was coming for me.

* * *

When class finally let out, I lurched from my chair, needing to escape.

Xander tried to be supportive and hurry with me. “Hey, do you want to?—”

“Not right now,” I told her, shoving my textbook into my bag and sending her an apologetic look before shaking my head to let her know I was drowning here. “I gotta go. I just—I gotta think.”

“Right.” She nodded in understanding. “I get it. Call you later, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks.” After zipping my bag closed, I slung the strap over my shoulder and caught her eye. “Later.”

She smiled. “Yeah.” Tipping her head in reassurance, she added, “You’ve got this, Frankie. Everything’s going to be okay. I know it.”

I seriously doubted that. But I smiled my thanks for her support, anyway.

My first instinct was to go to the library.

That was my safe space. Except Keene hung out there way too often.

And I really wasn’t ready to face him again, not after Saturday and the moment we’d shared behind the checkout counter, and especially not after learning he had a picture composite of me he was showing around.

Honestly, it kind of stung to hear he was still chasing her after he’d almost kissed me . And yes, I knew I was her. But he didn’t.

This just proved I was nothing to him, our moment had meant nothing, and Xander had been putting silly ideas in my head. I just needed to reboot and get my mind straight again.

I went to the library because there was nowhere else for me to go.