Page 65 of You Lied First
S itting in traffic as I make my way home from my chat with Margot, I thump the steering wheel in frustration.
I don’t know what Margot was getting at.
Celine was right about one thing: I should never have got involved with the Forrests.
I should have stayed in my lane. If Liv and I had got an EasyJet to Munich last December instead of poncing around the Middle East with them, none of this would have happened. None of it.
My mind drifts back to that dreadful morning in the camp.
By the time the sun rose, I’d had more than enough time to think about how I was going to deal with the situation.
The mess I was in was a galaxy away from pushing a woman down the stairs and pretending it was an accident – and the consequences would be significantly more than a suspended sentence.
Celine was dead, I’d done it, and I had a simple choice to make: cover it up or confess.
By dragging the body back into the tent that night and erasing the evidence of a scuffle from the sand in the camp, I’d already begun the process of covering up my crime without even thinking about it.
What I hadn’t realised was how easy Guy was going to make it for me to continue; and how suspicion wouldn’t rest naturally on me because I’d liked her – and I genuinely had liked her.
Right up to those last moments, when – I tell myself – her true colours began to show through.
My precious Liv had been right; Celine was a fake friend.
The woman I killed was not the saint that the media’s been portraying.
The traffic moves forward, and I finally make it past the lights and merge into the lane I need to queue in for the big roundabout.
Everything around me looks so normal: the cars, the people wiping condensation from the inside of bus windows, the motorcyclists weaving around the cars.
This is my world. This is where I belong.
What happened in the desert feels like it happened to somebody else.
That evening in the campsite really had been idyllic.
Guy was right to insist we experience the desert at night.
I remember the twinkling fairy lights reflecting off the tents, and the delicious aromas wafting off the barbecue.
I remember the stars emerging in the canvas of the huge, inky sky; the humming excitement of the teens; and the beat of the ’80s tunes Guy played through his Bluetooth speaker.
And I wish more than anything that is where it had ended.
After I’d gone to bed, I’d fallen into a drunken sleep but woken later with a dry mouth and a pounding head.
I’d tossed and turned for ages listening to the scurries, rattles and clicks of faceless insects before realising I really was going to have to brave going outside the tent to get some water.
I undid the zip quietly, trying not to wake Celine, whose tent was next to mine, and crawled out, only to see that she was already up.
I padded over to her, rubbing my hands together.
The air was still and very cold. A thousand stars hung in the purple sky above me and the air smelled fresher than any laundry detergent’s promise as the sky edged toward the idea of daybreak.
From the big tent came the sound of someone’s open-mouthed snores.
‘What you up to?’ I whispered.
In Celine’s hand was a beer bottle and it was apparent from the way her body lolled loosely in the canvas chair that she hadn’t sobered up at all. Far from it.
‘Drowning my sorrows,’ she said with a rueful laugh. ‘Wanna join me?’
‘I need water, actually. Shall I get you one?’
‘Nah.’
As I reached across, I saw the glisten of tears on her cheeks.
‘Hey, you okay? What happened?’ I leaned on the car next to her.
‘What we were talking about earlier,’ she said as if she hadn’t heard me. ‘The things you do to protect Liv … the best thing you can do for her right now is keep her away from the Forrests. Cos I can tell you one thing: that family’s fulla shit.’
‘They’ve been perfectly nice to me. I mean, Guy arranged all of this just so Liv and I could experience the desert. I really appreciate that.’
Celine scoffed and took another swig of her beer.
‘And Liv really loves Flynn,’ I said. ‘He’s been so good for her.
He’s really helped her.’ A warm glow lit my belly as I thought of how happy Liv had been lately; how settled Flynn had made her feel; how everything was finally coming together.
‘Maybe they’ll go the distance. And if they do, the Forrests’ll be my in-laws, so I need to keep them onside! ’
‘You don’t get it, do you?’ Celine said.
She hauled herself unsteadily to her feet and jabbed a finger at me.
‘They’re toxic. I’m telling you. You need to get Liv away from them or she’ll end up like me.
Chucked out after the fun’s over. Like a used condom.
That’s all Liv is to her precious Flynn.
Like I was to his fucking dad. Yeah, that’s right.
He dumped me. Tonight. After all this. Arsehole. ’
I looked around to check we were outside of earshot of the big tent. We were turned away from it – I hoped our voices wouldn’t carry.
‘It’s none of my business what happened with you and Guy,’ I hissed, ‘but that’s not a fair thing to say about Flynn. He loves Liv. Maybe it’s time to have some water and try to get some sleep.’
But Celine carried on. ‘She’ll never be one of them.
You’re not rich enough or posh enough. I can’t believe you don’t see that.
I can’t believe you’re going to let them break your daughter’s heart.
You, who does anything to protect her! Where’s the tiger mum now, Sara?
Run away because she wants to hang out with the Forrests? ’
‘I’m sure Liv can take care of herself,’ I said, trying not to let my temper rise.
Celine sneered. ‘This from the woman who shoved a teacher down the stairs for making her daughter cry! The Forrests better watch out!’
‘What?’ Fear lurched in my gut at the thought that she knew my darkest secret.
‘Oh, yes! I know all about you breaking that woman’s wrist. I know you tried to have it hushed up, but teachers talk.
No way that was an accident, and it seems the court agreed.
I wonder what the Forrests will think of that when they find o ut.
You’re not the kind of person they’d want their son mixed up with.
Persona non grata. Ha ha ha. You watch how fast he drops her when I tell them. ’
‘You wouldn’t. Celine, please?’ I looked at her in disbelief. I knew she was drunk. There was a chance she was ranting and wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning. But there was also a chance that she would.
‘Why wouldn’t I? What have I got to lose?
Who are you to me, anyway? You’re the one who had an innocent kid removed from a class and shagged a teacher to get your kid into school.
You helped your daughter cheat. You’re not who you say you are, Sara Says.
And I think Margot deserves to know the real you.
You’re a nasty piece of work, and I bet your daughter’s no better!
’ She lurched towards me and shoved me in the chest.
‘Get off!’ I pushed Celine back, but she lunged after me again and I shoved her, hard.
She staggered backwards, lost her balance and fell onto the sand.
I towered over her, fighting the urge to aim a kick at her.
My blood thrummed in my ears. If I could obliterate her off the face of the earth, I would.
‘Don’t you dare tell them,’ I hissed.
She tried to stand, staggered again, and fell back down.
‘Or what? Fuck off, Sara! I tried to help and you don’t want to hear. You do you. I’m going to bed.’
I watched as she crawled unsteadily across the sand towards her tent.
She was still wearing the pretty scarf she’d wrapped around her neck when we’d been shivering over the ghost stories.
The long ends dragged in the sand. It wouldn’t be difficult.
She was drunk. I had the height advantage, and she wouldn’t see me coming.
If I could grab the ends of it, the scarf would give me leverage.
Celine would be silenced. Flynn wouldn’t leave Liv. Liv would be happy.
When I think about it like that, it really was a no-brainer.
What I need to do now is convince Margot that Guy did it while trusting that Guy thinks Margot did it.
If I can engineer that situation, I might just get away with it.
I nod to myself as I turn into my road. Liv will calm down; she’ll come back.
I start to think that things might turn out far better than I could ever have hoped.
And then I see the police car parked outside my house.