Page 62 of You Lied First

M argot keeps out of Guy’s way while she continues her hunt for the camera, her searches becoming more desperate, more oblique, as the damn thing doesn’t appear in any of the places where it should or could be.

But she has to be subtle about what she’s doing because she doesn’t want to alert Guy to the fact that she remembers they had it with them – if he doesn’t already know.

Guy goes out for much of Monday, and on Tuesday Margot prepares a chicken casserole for dinner, pointedly making only enough for herself and Flynn.

Him admitting out loud that he had an affair with Celine is a blow, but one that pales into insignificance against his other revelation: that Sara thinks Margot killed Celine.

It’s never crossed her mind that Sara might think she’s in this mess because she’s protecting her .

That Sara might blame her for everything.

But now Guy’s mentioned it, she scrolls mentally back to a couple of months ago, reimagining things the way Sara might see them: the times Margot put chopped celery in the salad because she knows Celine couldn’t stand it; her ‘accidental’ use of full-sugar tonic in Celine’s diet G the fact that she bought Sauvignon because Celine only liked Chardonnay – and the dozens of other tiny things Margot had done to amuse herself during that shit show of a holiday.

Yes, she owns it all – but messing with someone’s non-allergic food preferences is hardly akin to killing them.

But surely Sara understands that? Does she really see Margot as someone willing and capable of murdering her husband’s lover?

Does Sara even know that Guy and Celine were lovers back in the day?

Was it as obvious to Sara as it had been to her?

Margot wonders what Guy’s saying to Sara about all this behind her back.

He always insists on going to her house alone, claiming Margot’s too busy with work to join him.

What’s he telling her those times he’s alone with her?

Is he deliberately pointing a finger at Margot to keep the suspicion off himself?

Is he setting her up in case the shit hits the fan?

Are they now each out to save only their own skin?

Her thoughts are interrupted as Flynn taps on the studio door. His head pops around.

‘Hey, Mum.’

‘Hey,’ she says. ‘Come in.’

He flings himself onto the sofa with the deep sigh of a troubled teen. Margot spins her chair to face him.

‘Cup of tea?’

‘Just had one … Mum, look, you don’t think it was my fault, do you?’

His face crumples and Margot takes him in her arms and hugs him like she used to when he was little. She kisses his hair and pulls it back from his eyes.

‘Look at me, baby. No, I don’t. I’ve been going over it in my head and I’m absolutely sure that the fall was nothing. You were fine and so was she. Your dad was just being … your dad. He was lashing out when he said that.’

Flynn squeezes Margot tighter and bends a little so he can rest his chin on her shoulder. ‘Thanks.’

When he pulls away, he says, ‘So, umm, you know what Dad said about you … um … you know, doing it? I just want to say that I don’t believe him and I’m sorry for what I said at Sara’s that night.

There’s no way you would do that, even if …

’ He waves his hand unable to give voice to his dad’s infidelity and Margot is filled with resentment.

This is all Guy’s fault. Her son should not be having to acknowledge that affair.

Margot’s angry – about the affair; angry about the admission that came years too late; and even angrier that Guy dragged Flynn into this mess when she’d sacrificed so much to keep him out of it.

‘Thanks, darling. That means a lot. But I’m sorry you had to know. When did you find out?’ she asks gently.

‘I suppose I was kind of aware at the time that something wasn’t right. But it was only in the last year before we left that I truly realised what was going on. But you knew?’

Margot nods wearily. Flynn’s old enough to handle the truth, she thinks.

‘She wasn’t the first, and I’m sure she wasn’t the last. Your father, how to put it?

He likes the chase. The conquering.’ She traces the grain of fabric on her skirt.

‘With most of them, though, the novelty wore off quickly. He’d get bored and move on.

I don’t think he ever thought about leaving me – except maybe for her.

’ She pauses. ‘Please don’t be like him. ’

‘Never! I never want to be like him! Did he know that you knew?’

‘I think he wanted me to know – maybe he thought he was keeping me on my toes. Reminding me that I was lucky to be the one he’d chosen.’ She gives Flynn a bitter smile. ‘So I used to enjoy making him think I hadn’t noticed. The games people play, eh? And look where it got me.’

‘Better than where Celine ended up!’ Flynn bites his lips to temper a guilty smile, then his face straightens. ‘Have you ever wondered if Dad, you know, did it? As in …’ He mimes slashing his neck.

Margot frowns.

‘I mean, do you ever think about the camping trip?’ he says. ‘He arranged it all pretty quickly, didn’t he? The Jeeps, the tents, all the kit – even a quad bike. Like, within a day, wasn’t it? Almost like it was pre-planned.’

Margot remains silent.

‘Maybe we were pawns in a much bigger game – a plan to go to Oman, to meet up with Celine. I mean, it was odd that we stayed right there when she was there, wasn’t it?

And you said she was the only one he might have cared about?

Then to take her to the desert and kill her under the guise of a holiday.

Wasn’t he the one who suggested that Sara needed to see the desert in the first place? ’

‘Mmm,’ Margot nods noncommittally.

‘If not that, then it’s entirely possible that he went to her tent, they had a row and he somehow killed her.

What if she was blackmailing him? What if she wanted him to leave you?

She wasn’t a good person, Mum, trust me.

I told you she was trying it on with me.

I’m sure it was to try and make him jealous because he was looking funny at Sara.

Oh – shit. Sorry. Had you noticed that?’

Margot sighs. Her son is so perceptive.

‘Flynn – I don’t know what to think, to be honest. As I said, this kind of speculation will only drive us crazy.

When the autopsy results come out, we might know more.

It could be something totally innocuous.

I don’t really want to throw blame around at this point.

We’re throwing stones here, but we don’t even know how she died. ’

Flynn crosses his arms. ‘Mum. Come on. You’ve seen his temper. Shall we talk about that, or are you happy to continue skipping around in denial?’

‘Flynn, I hardly think …’

‘Because I, for one, am worried.’

Margot opens her mouth to object; to protect Guy as she always does. Keeping up the illusion that everything’s perfect. But she can’t be bothered.

‘I saw him with you the other day,’ Flynn says. ‘Remember, when he nearly hit you?’

‘Flynn—’

‘But he had you up against the shelves, Mum! And he threatened to “silence” Liv. I heard him. I saw him do that strangling thing. For your information, that is not normal. It’s also not acceptable.

And I know this wasn’t the first time. I’m not blind, you know.

You shouldn’t let him get away with it.’ He pauses, leaning forwards, his elbows on his knees.

‘You know he bullies you, right? And controls you? Do you see that?’

Margot closes her eyes. ‘I can deal with it,’ she says. ‘I’m planning to deal with it. Trust me.’

‘Has he ever hurt you? Physically?’

Margot doesn’t mean to pause, yet she does, then she realises she’s lost the chance to lie, so she remains silent. Her head is suddenly swimming with thoughts. Ideas. A possibility. Flynn swallows and Margot sees his jaw clench.

‘What? What is it?’

‘You know it’s not just you?’

‘What?’

‘You can’t ever tell him I told you this, but do you remember those bruises on my arm? When we got back from Oman?’

The four fingertip-shaped bruises. Flynn’s uneasiness when Margot saw them. ‘What? What are you saying?’

‘That was him. I asked him why Celine joined our holiday. I asked if he was fucking her. Sorry for the word but it’s what I said. He grabbed me and shook me. I had matching bruises on the other arm, too. He told me never to talk about her like that again.’

Margot takes Flynn’s hand and looks into his eyes. All she sees there is anxiety.

‘I’m so sorry, Flynn. Thank you for trusting me with this. I promise I’ll make sure he never touches you like that again. I don’t know what else to say.’

‘What if he killed her?’ Flynn said. ‘What if he’s a murderer? And we’re living in the house with him?’

They stare at each other, then the key turns in the front door.

‘Did you see the news?’ Guy yells from the hallway. He comes crashing up the stairs and shoves open the studio door so hard it rebounds off the door stop. ‘They’re saying she was strangled!’