Page 38 of You, Again
“Vinnie…”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I used to hope you’d take one of the extra tickets I sent him for my games. I used to look for you in the stands. Stupid, huh? I know what you’re gonna say. I should have called, I should have come home, I should have—”
“Shh. You’re here now. Let the rest go.” Nolan closed the distance and wrapped me in his arms.
I blinked away tears and rested my temple against his, then kissed his cheek as I pulled away. “What now?”
“That depends on you. If you came home for forgiveness, you have it. If you’re looking for solace, you’ll find it here. This is your town. Every door is open, everyone here wishes you well—and not because of your stats or your impressive career. You’re one of us. That means something.”
I perched on the nearest stool. “Thanks, but I meant…me and you.”
“Me and you,” he repeated.
“I’m as strung up over you now as I was then. I know I don’t have the right to ask this, but I want a second chance.”
Nolan’s eyes softened as he smiled affectionately. “You mean you want to get naked with me.”
“That too.”
He chuckled. “Vin, be honest. We were childhood friends and each other’s first gay crush. It’s not me you want. You want someone safe to get your gay on with.”
“You arenotsafe. You’re still very fucking dangerous to me,” I whispered. “The difference is, I’m not going anywhere.”
“This summer,” he clarified.
“Well, yeah. The point is…I’m not gonna fight this feeling.”
“What feeling?”
He was killing me with the cross-examination, but hey, if I wanted to be honest, I had to lay it all out there.So…here goes nothing.
“I want to kiss you, I want to touch you, taste you. And I really wanna fuck you. If you’re…into that.”
Nolan’s eyes darkened with unchecked desire. “Yeah, I’m into that.”
I rubbed my thumb over his bottom lip. “We can take it slow. Or fast…or whatever. You call the shots. I’ll follow.”
“Okay, but…let’s keep it between us. I don’t feel like explaining this to anyone, and I don’t think we—”
I clapped my hand over his mouth. “Can it, Moore. Understood and agreed. No more talking.”
I swooped in to kiss him before he could reply. I knew all the ways this could go wrong. But I wasn’t the same person I was then. I didn’t feel trapped or scared now. I felt…free. I wanted the same thing I’d wanted years ago, but I understood what it meant—and what it didn’t mean.
Wanting Nolan wasn’t dirty or shameful.
It was just…complicated.
8
NOLAN
Don’t ask me how we got here. I had no idea.
This was the grown-up second edition of the last summer we’d spent together before Vin left for college. We’d been inseparable but usually within the safety net of a group of friends. We could sit next to each other, our skin glued by summer sun and sweat, while my brother and the rest of our gang yammered on around us, unaware of the sizzle of heat between us. The teenage version had been exhilarating and heartbreaking…something I’d promised to never subject myself to again.
But the adult version of us was righteously liberating. We’d had our talk, and we’d acknowledged mutual attraction and had given ourselves permission to act on it without assigning labels. The nature of the beast was sexual gratification, nothing more. We dove headfirst into quenching our thirst.
And yes, that was what it was…a raging, soul-consuming thirst. No joke. I’d had my share of lovers, but it had been a long time since I’d been this aware and in tune with another human.