Page 80 of Worth Every Moment

ERICA

Afew hours after I left Seb’s bedroom, I invited Amy over. I was itchy with guilt, and I needed someone to talk to about it.

I let myself into his room when not going in there was the only rule he gave me. I disobeyed it so flagrantly, giving in completely to my untamed desire. I let him talk me through it, and hearing his voice, even with the corporate shit he was murmuring about, made it so much more delicious. I’ve never had an orgasm like that before. It wrecked my body. I felt it in every cell, buzzing and tingling, lingering in my system for minutes after it was over.

I deceived him. I used him. I’m the worst friend in the world.

But I can’t regret it.

Once I’ve told Amy all the sordid details, she leans across the table towards me, eyes alight with glee, and says, “You slut. On his bed too.”

“Okay, yes. That was naughty. I feel really bad. He told me not to go in there.”

Amy performs an exaggerated eye roll. “When I told you to do mirror work, I did not tell you to go lie down on your fake boyfriend’s bed and do it.” She pauses, as if reconsidering her words. “Not that Seb would mind. If he knew, he’d probably come in his tailor-made pants.”

I point at her. “Do not. I repeatdo nottell him.Ever.” She nods and I pin my lips, contemplating not sharing for a second, but then I blurt, “He rang. When I was… you know.”

Her eyes go so wide that I tilt away in case her eyeballs actually pop. “And you answered?”

“Yeah. I made him stay on the line while I…”

Amy slams her hands on the kitchen counter and leaps from her seat. “You did not! Did he know? I mean… did he know what you were doing?”

I shake my head. “No. I was very quiet. Told him I was cooking.”

“You are bad.” She cups both hands over her mouth and squeaks. “That’s so bad. Without his consent? That’s like… oh, you little devil!” She laughs, muffled at first, until she lets her hands fall and releases a sound so loud it fills the room. “I’ve half a mind to tell him myself, just so he knows what he’s got himself into. You pretty much violated the man.” She waves a hand in the air like she’s casting a spell. “He ought to know what his ‘girlfriend’ gets up to when he’s at wor—”

“Stop.” I cover my face and groan. Amy knows this is all fake; she’s the only one I’ve told, not just because I trust her, but because I have so much dirt on her, I could take her down forever. Actually, I probably couldn’t. Amy doesn't give a shit about that stuff. She’s all free sex, wild music, and hanging out with Seb Hawkston in public. She’d bounce right back up again like one of those weighted inflatable dolls. “It was bad. I feel terrible. But…”

Amy cocks her head. “What?”

“You need to see what’s in his bathroom.”

I get up from my seat, beckoning her to come with me, heart thumping as I prepare to disobey Seb’s rules for the second time in one day. But I have to show someone what’s in his ensuite.Have to.I was so surprised when I saw it, I nearly fainted.

Amy follows me through his bedroom, which is so neat, there’s no way he’ll ever know I came in here. I push open the bathroom door, and there it is.

Me.

“Holy shit!” Amy squeals, her mouth dropping wide. “You’re on the wall. You’re fucking huge.”

“I know.”

We stare at the image of me on Seb’s bathroom wall. It’s a sultry black and white one from the Claudia Kirchwood shoot. Even I have to admit, as objectively as possible, it’s beautiful. I’m in a white silk dress, gazing up at the sky, my shoulders resting against a marble column. As I stare at it, my conversation with Seb when I gave him the framed photo the day I moved in, drifts through my mind.

“If you were in love with someone, you’d probably have at least one photo of them in your house.”

“I guess I would have one.”

Does this photo mean what I think it means? My breathing shallows and my thoughts scatter. I feel like I’m going crazy, not knowing what it means or what I want it to mean. I need Amy to say something to anchor me in place before I fall apart.

She steps up to it. “This is proper art. Wow.” She taps it. “Water-resistant. This bad boy is bathroom-ready. Must have cost a fortune.” She turns to me, eyes wide. “I think he had this made. Commissioned it for his bathroom.” She jerks a pointing finger at it. “This is why he locks his bedroom when he hosts parties. This is why he takes women to the hotels.” Waving both hands at me, she bounces on the spot. “He never bringsthem back here. It’s some weird thing he has. No one gets into Seb Hawkston’sactualbedroom. Fuck me, it’s becauseyou’re alreadyin here.” She laughs. “It’s ironic that you’re the one person he probably should have locked out, given what you got up to today.”

I’m hardly listening because my stomach is in knots. “Is thatreallytrue? He doesn’t take women here?”

“Haven’t you heard that rumour? Always in the hotel.”

Ah, shit.I feel even worse now. This place is his sanctuary, and I violated it. “Yeah, I’ve heard it. But I didn’t know for sure.” Guilt squirms in my gut. “We should get out of here. He’ll be home soon.”