Page 123 of Worth Every Moment

I pull my hand away. “No… no.”

What the fuck is happening?

“Please raise a toast with me to Sebastian and Diana,” Mr Hawkston says, directing the attention of the room to Diana and Seb with a sweeping hand gesture. “Antonio and I are greatly excited by this union of our two families, and we foresee great things for the future.”

Aries catches her gasp with one hand.

“Oh, my God.” Marie whispers, her mouth hanging open as she stares at me.

“Here, here,” Antonio booms, raising his glass without standing from his chair. Behind him, his two bodyguards loom, dressed in black. Huge monoliths of men.

“To Sebastian and Diana,” Mr Hawkston announces, and everyone is on their feet, champagne glasses raised.

My heart races, my limbs prickly and weak.

“What? Noooooo,” Aries says. “Oh, holy hell, that can’t be right.”

I say nothing. I’m the only one still sitting down.

“Are you okay?” Aries hisses in my ear, her hand on my elbow as if urging me to stand. I’m making myself conspicuous. Humiliation drips through the numb fog of shock, like acid burning through everything in its path. They all know I came here with Seb, as his girlfriend.They all know.This is horrendous. I need to get out of here. How could Seb do this to me? There must be some mistake. I can’t make it make sense. It feels like Mr Hawkston’s speech removed half my brain. I can’t process.

I rise to my feet, one hand on the back of my chair. I glance at Seb, willing him to look at me. To give me something to explain this. Some acknowledgment that this news affects me too. That I’m not some random person in the audience who can watch the family drama unfold and remain unmoved.

But Seb doesn’t look up.

His father says a few more words about Nico and Kate, and then the servers arrive with the food, weaving between the tables.

Everyone else sits down, but I don’t move. Can’t move. Marie takes one look at me, tops up her empty wine glass from a bottle on the centre of the table, and pushes it in my direction. She knows I don’t drink, but when I look at her in question, she gives me the smallest of nods and shoves the wine closer.

As if that would make it better.

“Drink,” she orders.

“I don’t dr—”

“Tonight, you do.”

I reach for it, butshe pulls it back towards her. “Wait. Are you an alcoholic? Is that why you don’t drink?”

Aries and Elly share a glance, and Charlie leans back in his chair, watching this play out.

“No,” I respond, and even that one word wavers. I can’t focus, but somehow I catch sight of Mr Hawkston and, like he sensesmy weakness, a cruel slash of a smile carves his face as he raises his glass in my direction.

Marie nudges her wine glass closer to me, and, unwise as it may be, I take it and tip the entire thing down my throat in one. The tannin of the red wine hits my teeth, my tongue, drying out my mouth. The alcohol rushes straight into my bloodstream, warm and dizzying. A sensation I haven’t felt since I was a teenager. Marie nods to herself, takes the empty glass, fills it up, and shoves it back towards me.

“Aren’t you a doctor?” I mutter, although I’m not fully with it.

“Yeah. And this is my medical advice. Get drunk and forget about him. And then get on the first boat out of here tomorrow and never look back.” She hands me a third glass she got from I don’t know where and forces it on me. I swallow it quickly, even though I know it’s a bad idea. “What an arsehole. Men are always more trouble than they’re worth.”

“Hey,” Aries bleats. “That’s not fair. Matt is—”

“Now is not the moment to start talking about how great your fiancé is,” Marie snaps, and Aries mimes zipping her mouth shut.

The staff surround us, placing the starters down. There’s an awkward silence as the food arrives. I can’t eat. I can’t stay here when I want to throw up. Or scream. Or better yet, run into the sea and drown.

Over at the bridal table, Mr Hawkston stands and puts an arm around Seb’s shoulders. Even from here, I can see how rigid Seb’s body becomes. He wants to shrug him off, but he can’t do it publicly. Seb keeps his head down, but when the old man moves away, Seb closes his eyes, his jaw hardening as he clenches that tiny fragment of paper in his hand. His shoulders curl inwards like there’s a pain in his chest he doesn’t want anyone to know about, but he still doesn’t search for me in the crowd. I can’t stay here and wait. I need to leave.

My head spins.I’m drunk.“I can’t do this.”