Page 58 of Worse Than Murder (DCI Matilda Darke Thriller #13)

P hilip Meagan knows that, if he begins tearing down a wall while his son is at school and misses all the excitement, his life won’t be worth living.

So, with tools bought from the local hardware shop, he waits until Carl is home before telling him of their plans for the evening once the restaurant is closed.

Before Carl can even ask, Philip tells him, yes, he can stay up past his bedtime.

Like most Thursdays, business is slow in Nature’s Diner, and Sally asks me and Adele to have dinner in the restaurant to give the illusion they’re busy.

A free meal is never to be refused so we accept and dress for the occasion.

Sally comes to the rescue once again and furnishes us with evening wear from her vast collection.

We’re like two little girls playing dress-up with their mother’s wardrobe.

We sit in the window of the restaurant. I’m wearing a figure-hugging dress with thin straps.

‘I know inside you’re probably a mess,’ Adele says. ‘But from the outside, you look so healthy. The outdoors obviously suits you.’

‘Running and swimming seem to be the only things that stop the screams in my head. I still cry but I can’t tell what are tears and what’s sweat pouring down my face.’

‘I still can’t believe it,’ Adele says. ‘Penny. Joseph and Nathan. How can someone do something like that? And for what?’

‘To get at me.’

‘But why? What have you done wrong that someone believes the answer is to kill…?’ She can’t bring herself to finish the question.

‘If I knew the answer to that I’d know who’d done it.’

‘How is the team getting on in finding the killer?’

I shrug.

‘If you looked at your phone, you might find out.’

I turn away and look out of the window, so I can’t see the look of disappointment on Adele’s face.

‘You can’t keep running away, Mat.’ She picks up her wine and takes a lengthy sip. ‘Sian phoned me this afternoon.’

‘Matilda!’

I whip my head around to see who’s calling me, thankful of a distraction from a conversation I don’t want to have. Tania Pritchard has breezed into the restaurant and is heading my way. She stops at a table to say hello to someone she knows.

‘Gorgeous shade on your hair, Jean. Say hello to your Keith for me.’

She finally reaches our table.

‘You’re looking very posh. I almost didn’t recognise you. Not interrupting anything, am I?’ she asks, looking at Adele.

‘No. This is Adele. The pathologist I was telling you about. Adele Kean, this is Tania Pritchard. The only journalist I’ve ever met who isn’t a complete wanker.’

‘I think that’s the best introduction I’ve ever had,’ Tania smiles. ‘Hello Adele, nice to meet you.’

‘And you.’ Adele holds her hand out for Tania to shake.

‘Better not. I had to change a tyre on my way over here. I’m all oily.

I’ve just been to see Lynne and Iain. I spoke to Claire, and she told me about the results of the postmortems on Celia and Jennifer.

Apparently, Jennifer had a broken bone in her arm not long before she died, and it hadn’t healed properly.

According to Lynne, she didn’t know anything about it.

How can a mother not notice that? If you ask me… ’

‘Tania, are you eating?’ Sally calls out.

Tania pulls an agonised face, as if she’s struggling to decide. ‘I’m not sure. Is that butter chicken on the specials board?’

‘Not tonight, sorry. We’ve got some beef medallions.’

‘You’ve twisted my arm. Can you box me up a serving?’

‘Will do.’

Tania turns back to the table. ‘Have you had the butter chicken? My goodness. I don’t know what they do to a chicken breast in that kitchen, but I bet it’s illegal in some countries. Now, where was I?’

‘Jennifer’s broken bone,’ I tell her.

‘Oh, yes. Now, either Lynne knew her daughters were being abused and turned a blind eye, or she was part of it. What do you think?’

‘I don’t know. I can’t read Lynne and Iain at all. They’re both so closed.’

‘Given everything they’ve been through over the years, you can understand that. I think Iain might know more than he’s letting on, too. He hardly said a word when I went round. And he didn’t offer me a drink. I don’t think he wanted to leave me in the living room on my own with Lynne.’

‘Why wouldn’t he want you on your own with her?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe in case she said something to me he doesn’t want me to know.’

‘They’re a strange couple. I can get my head around Lynne being in pain with her daughters being discovered so close to home, but she radiates a sadness that is deeply rooted. I think it goes back decades. If so, why did she get married to Iain?’

‘For a final stab at happiness, maybe,’ Tania said.

‘It clearly didn’t work.’

‘She wasn’t to know that.’

‘But Lynne told me that Iain was her first love. Surely, you’d be happy marrying your first love after the horror you’ve been through.

’ I take a sip of wine. I haven’t eaten yet, so I feel it making me lightheaded.

‘I was thinking about this in the shower. Lynne told me Iain wasn’t the settling-down type, so she went with Jack who obviously was.

She also said she desperately wanted children, and that Iain can’t have kids.

I’m wondering if she actually dumped Iain for Jack, just so she could have a baby. ’

‘That’s a bit sick, isn’t it?’ Adele asks. ‘Dumping a bloke and going with his brother so you can have a child.’

I look over my shoulder to make sure I’m not being overheard and lower my voice.

‘Lynne told me her revised statement to the police, where she said she was in bed with Travis, was wrong. She was actually sleeping with Iain. It’s possible that she and Iain never split up in the first place and she went with Jack just to have a child. ’

‘You think they were a throuple?’ Tania asks.

‘Nothing so modern. Perhaps Jack didn’t realise, while he was married to Lynne and seemingly living a blissfully happy life, she was still seeing Iain. It was the best of both worlds for all of them.’

‘It’s a bit incestuous, isn’t it?’ Adele pulls a face.

‘Looking back,’ Tania begins. ‘Iain and Lynne were always more suited than Jack and Lynne. I remember being a couple of rows behind them in the pictures once– this is Iain and Lynne I’m talking about– and they were paying Mel Gibson no attention whatsoever, if you know what I mean.

Mind you, I was. I still go weak at the knees when I watch Mad Max .

I’ve always been a sucker for a man in leather. ’

Sally comes over with a white box and hands it to Tania, telling her to be careful as the plate inside is hot.

Tania hands her a bank card. ‘Slap that on your fancy card machine, Sal. I had another thought as well on my way over here,’ she says, turning back to us.

‘Oh, wait, it’s gone. I knew I should have written it down.

Oh, no, wait, I’ve remembered now. It’s about the sightings of Jack.

What if they are really sightings of Travis? ’

‘I thought that, too,’ I admit.

‘Oh. I thought I was being too clever for my own good with that one. Still, it’s something else to give ourselves a sleepless night.

Anyway, I’ll let you enjoy your meal, and I’ll report back in the morning, if I’ve managed to make any sense of anything.

Nice to meet you,’ she says to Adele. ‘Bye, Mat.’ She breezes through the restaurant, taking her bank card from Sally and waving goodbye to the people she knows.

‘Does she always talk like she’s about to run out of oxygen?’ Adele asks.

‘I think this is the first major story she’s had in thirty years and she’s remembering why she became a journalist in the first place.’ I look out of the window and watch her walk at pace to her Punto. ‘I feel sorry for her.’

‘I was watching you while you were talking. You were back in full DCI mode for a while.’

‘It’s my job.’

‘Still?’

I’m saved from answering that by Sally coming to the table with our meals. Mushroom risotto for Adele and Thai salmon cakes for me.

‘There you go, ladies. Enjoy.’

We eat in silence for a while.

‘As I was saying, I spoke to Sian,’ Adele says. ‘Everyone is worried about you. She’s told me everyone has texted and emailed, and you haven’t got back to them. Why are you avoiding them?’

‘I’m not avoiding them. I’ve read my emails. I…’

‘I’m not daft. You left your phone in my car.’

‘Ah.’

‘That’s the first time you’ve ever lied to me.’

‘I’m sorry. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t know what’s going on in here right now,’ I say, tapping my temple.

‘I want to know what’s going on, but I don’t.

I want to find out who killed my family, but I’m scared of what I’ll do when I do.

I’m trying to protect myself, yet at the same time I want to destroy myself.

I’ve got too many conflicting emotions going on and I don’t know how to address them. ’

‘Bloody hell, Mat,’ Adele says, reaching across and placing a hand on top of mine. ‘Why didn’t you tell me any of this?’

‘How can I tell you when I can’t make sense of it myself? It’s all chaos.’

We stare at each other in silence, neither of us knowing what to say next. I pick up my knife and fork and attack my salmon cakes. I’m not hungry, though.

‘Who’s Helen Walsh?’ Adele asks.

Adele has obviously read my emails. I can’t be mad at her. I’d have done the same if the tables were turned. I wish the table was turned; her risotto looks delicious.

‘She’s the mother of the first victim. It was believed her son, Liam, killed himself by jumping off a building. It turns out he was pushed.’

‘Why is she emailing you so much?’

‘I said I’d keep her informed of what’s going on with the investigation. Liam was all she had. She was struggling to come to terms with his suicide, so when I told her he’d been murdered, well…’

‘The number of emails she’s sending you is bordering on stalking.’

‘She’s grieving. She’s angry. She’s trying to make sense of the madness.’

‘Sound familiar?’ Adele raises a single eyebrow.

‘I can’t help her.’

‘You can.’

‘And what about me? Who’s going to help me?’ My tone is laced with dark emotion. There are tears in my voice.

‘I am. Sian is. Then there’s Christian, Scott, Finn, Donal, Odell.

Sally and Philip and Carl. Don’t sit there and tell me you’re all alone, because you’re not.

You’ve got people around you to help, to support, people who love you who will come running the minute you snap your fingers.

Who has this Helen Walsh got? She’s got you.

She’s counting on you because you promised her. ’

I’m fully crying now. I can’t help it. I know I’ve got supportive people around me who will help, but for so long I’ve been the strong one. If people see my vulnerabilities, I’m worried they’ll think less about me.

‘Matilda, look at me.’

Reluctantly, I look up.

‘Let me take you back to Sheffield.’

‘I plan on going back.’

Adele visibly relaxes. ‘Oh. Good. That’s good. You’re making the right decision.’

‘I have one condition.’

‘Go on.’

‘We have to find out what happened to Celia and Jennifer Pemberton first.’

‘It’s been thirty years. You might never find out.’

‘Then I’d better have my post redirected,’ I say, turning my attention back to my salmon cakes.