Page 41 of Worse Than Murder (DCI Matilda Darke Thriller #13)

I ’m looking forward to joining Aaron and his team for a meal in Nature’s Diner.

It’ll be the first time since I arrived in the Lake District where I’m eating a meal that isn’t resting on my lap in the living room.

After the meeting with Lionel and Tania, I walk back to the restaurant, the voices in my head trying to make sense of what I’ve witnessed.

I change and go for a run. I’m still clueless about much of what is happening around me and I still have no idea who I can trust, but it calms me down.

My emotions are settled, and as I stand under the intense heat from the shower, I can feel my body relax.

I know I shouldn’t be getting involved in an investigation right now.

My head is full of grief, horror and sorrow.

What I don’t need is other people’s deceptions and manipulations playing tricks on me.

I should leave. I should pack a bag and drive Adele’s Porsche somewhere new.

But when I close my eyes, I can see Alison Pemberton sitting opposite me in the restaurant, begging, pleading for help.

That’s my downfall. I need to help people.

And if I can’t help myself, I may as well help someone else.

After my shower, I wrap a towel around me and lie down on my bed. I close my eyes.

The next thing I know, there’s a tap on the door. I sit up and notice the sun setting over the horizon.

‘Yes?’

The door opens and Sally pops her head through the gap. ‘Your guests are downstairs,’ she smiles.

‘What?’

‘Aaron and his team.’

‘Shit. Already?’

‘It’s eight o’clock.’

‘What? Oh, bloody hell. I must have nodded off.’ I jump off the bed and throw open the wardrobe. There’s nothing in there. ‘Shit. I was going to ask if I could borrow something to wear.’

‘Come with me,’ Sally says, holding out her hand.

* * *

It’s been a long time since I’ve worn a dress.

On the odd occasion I go out for a meal, whether it’s with Adele or Scott and Donal, or even on a date with Odell, I dress casually in black trousers or fitted jeans.

Sally grabs the perfect dress for me straight away.

How she finds it among the millions of other dresses, I have no idea, but when she presents it to me, I know it’s the one.

I quickly change, ruffle my hair up in a messy style and apply a tiny bit of makeup to hide the puffiness of my eyes.

As I look at myself in the mirror wearing a deep-red floor-length dress with thin straps and a low neck, I don’t recognise myself.

I hadn’t realised how much my appearance has changed in the month since I arrived here.

My figure is trimmer, firmer, my hair is longer, my skin is tanned.

I smile at my reflection. This change in my appearance is most welcome.

‘Bloody hell,’ Aaron says, taken aback when I greet him. He kisses me on both cheeks. ‘You look…’ he looks me up and down, ‘stunning.’

‘She does, doesn’t she?’ Sally says, standing behind me, beaming like a proud parent.

‘I literally cannot remember the last time I dressed up for a meal,’ I say, sitting down at the table.

I’m surrounded by the six members of SRUK, all of whom are wearing thick utility trousers and polo shirts bearing the company’s logo.

‘I feel massively overdressed, but I don’t give a toss,’ I smile.

Conversation throughout the three courses focuses on the wide range of jobs SRUK are called out to.

Aaron tells the story of searching Scafell Pike during a blizzard for two sisters who had gone out walking.

It doesn’t have a happy ending. He then tells of the massive team effort to locate an eight-year-old boy who had been playing on disused ground in North Yorkshire and had fallen down a poorly maintained closed mineshaft. Another story with an unhappy ending.

‘I’m beginning to regret joining you all for dinner,’ I say as I tuck into my raspberry mousse cake. ‘Do any of your stories have endings that don’t make me want to drown myself in the bath?’

‘Scarlett, tell Matilda the story about your training on the Faultline in San Francisco.’

‘Which one?’ Scarlett asks. ‘The one where I fell down the ravine and broke my ankle or the one where I slept with the instructor?’

‘Ooh, can I have the one where you slept with the instructor? It sounds more fun.’

‘It was great fun on the first night in my hotel room,’ Scarlett says.

She’s sitting directly opposite me. She’s small, possibly only just five feet tall.

She has beautiful elfin features and shoulder-length chocolate-brown hair.

‘The second night, he invited me back to his place. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. ’

‘Oh no. Why?’

‘He had a mirror on his ceiling.’

‘You’re joking!’

‘I wish I were. I didn’t notice it at first. It was only when he asked if I’d go on top so he could watch that I looked up to see what he meant.’

‘Bloody hell. Why would you want to watch yourself have sex? I don’t even shower with the lights on.’

The whole table erupts into laughter.

* * *

Outside the restaurant, it’s dark. Muted lighting on the car park.

Philip hadn’t wanted it to be bright and gaudy.

He wanted his diners to enjoy the view, especially during the summer months when the sun set over the lake and lit the sky up a brilliant red.

High-voltage light bulbs would ruin the atmosphere.

In a car in the corner, in the shade of an oak tree, Inspector Gill Forsyth watches the restaurant.

She sees Matilda, looking unsettlingly different in a figure-hugging dress, sitting with the six members of SRUK.

They’re relaxed, laughing, joking, having fun, swapping stories, enjoying themselves.

She bites her bottom lip hard, chewing on the loose skin, seething with rage.

Her father told her about Matilda and Tania’s visit earlier.

She expected Tania to be sticking her nose in where it wasn’t wanted.

She’s a journalist after all, they were all reptiles, but she’d thought better of Matilda, especially after everything she’s recently gone through.

The grieving-woman act is clearly a ruse to worm her way in, and Gill had fallen for it.

Rookie mistake. Watching her now, happy, drinking wine like she didn’t have a care in the world, Gill decides it’s time Matilda fucked off back to Sheffield.

She’s outstayed her welcome. She wants her gone.

* * *

After the dessert and coffees, me and Aaron excuse ourselves and go to a smaller table in the corner of the room where we can have a private chat.

‘I called Scott last night,’ he says, almost sheepishly.

‘Did you tell him where I am?’

‘He already knows.’

‘Sian?’

He nods. ‘He’s worried about you. They all are.’

‘I’m fine. Look at me in a designer dress and makeup.’ I force a smile.

‘He told me you’ve been seeing someone. Odell?’

‘Yes.’

‘According to Scott, he’s waiting for you.’

I don’t know how to react to that and feel a well of emotion rise up inside me. ‘He might be in for a long wait.’

‘You’re not going back to Sheffield?’

‘I don’t know what I’m doing yet. Part of me wants to go back, find out who killed my family and tear them limb from limb. Another part wants never to set foot in Sheffield ever again.’

‘I think we both know that you can’t ever fully run away from your problems. They’re always in here,’ he says, tapping his head.

‘Tell me about it. I keep going over everything. What did I miss? Could I have saved them, if I’d done something differently?’ I take another sip of my coffee and look at Aaron over the top of the cup. ‘What would you do, if you were me?’

‘You’re asking me for advice?’ he asks, incredulously.

‘I am.’

‘Wow, you really are desperate.’

‘You made a mistake. We all make them. But you were an excellent detective. I wouldn’t have made you my sergeant, if I didn’t think so. You’re not in the force now. You’re removed from it all. You don’t have an ulterior motive for me to return to Sheffield. I’d like your impartial advice.’

‘Okay.’ He clears his throat. ‘Based on what I know about you. Based on your drive and determination and never giving up on anything. If I were you, I’d take some time out here, like you are doing, then I’d go back to Sheffield and turn the city upside down looking for the fucker who killed my family.

Then I’d hand in my notice and leave. The police force has taken up a great deal of your life.

You’ve got the freedom and the funds to enjoy yourself. So, for once, be selfish and live.’

I feel a tear run down my face. I wipe it away. Aaron jumps up and runs around to me. He wraps his strong arms around my shoulders and pulls me close.

‘He killed my mum, Aaron. He killed my nephews,’ I cry.

‘I know. I know. There’s no getting over that. It will forever haunt you. But you can adapt, and you can only do that by catching the bastard who did it.’

‘I know.’

‘There’s no rush, though. Take all the time you need.’

I nod. I sniff hard and wipe my eyes.

‘I know I’m not on the force anymore but I’m only a phone call away. I will help out any way I can. And I know some excellent places to bury a body– should you need to,’ he says, a twinkle in his eye.

I laugh.