Page 5 of Winter of Passion (Pride and Prejudice Variation)
“I have to say this forthcoming ball is quite distressing. When Charles first suggested it, I imagined something like the ball here last November. But then he invited some distant cousins, and they invited others. Then Louisa and Caroline wished to include their own guests. As large as Netherfield is, last night we had to count the rooms to be certain we could accommodate everyone!”
“If you need my room, I can move back to Longbourn. I can still come and help you every day.”
“Oh no, Lizzy! You are my support! Poor Charles has so many tasks of his own that I do not want to trouble him with my worries. He is happy that Mr Darcy arrived before the others. He truly relies on him and says Mr Darcy can help him with anything.”
“Mr Bingley has great faith in Mr Darcy!” Elizabeth smiled.
“He does. Charles often says how fortunate he is to have Mr Darcy as a friend. You know, Lizzy…yesterday when he arrived, Mr Darcy congratulated me, then he apologised to me.”
“He did? May I ask why?”
“He admitted that he failed to recognise my true feelings for Charles last year, but now he is certain we are a perfect match. Was that not kind of him?”
“It was. Kind and honest.”
“How about you, Lizzy? How are you feeling, seeing Mr Darcy? And I wonder how he feels too. Poor man, to have been in love with you for such a long time and suffered your harsh rejection. You both must be so uncomfortable, so distressed!”
“Actually, my dear, we clarified our past misunderstandings when we met at Pemberley in the summer. I hope we shall have the chance to talk more now.”
“But Lizzy, how do you feel about him now? Surely you do not still despise him!”
“Of course not, Jane. In fact, my feelings are quite the opposite. I have come to know his generous and honourable character, and I very much admire him. I truly believe he is the best man of my acquaintance,” she said in a serious and grave voice.
Then she added in a lighter tone, to conceal her nervousness, “The best man after Papa, and your Mr Bingley, and Uncle Gardiner, of course.”
Jane laughed, embracing her.
“I must thank him for helping Uncle Gardiner to settle the matter with Lydia. Aunt Gardiner said they would not have succeeded without Mr Darcy’s involvement.
And he does not even want us to know or to acknowledge his part in it!
” A thought seemed to occur to her. “Lizzy, what if…I do not wish to speak nonsense, but what if he did it for you? What if he loves you still?” Jane whispered.
Elizabeth hesitated a moment; she felt her cheeks warming and averted her eyes, then finally allowed her thoughts to come out.
“I confess I hope that is the case, Jane…but I do not wish to trouble myself too much with such thoughts. He granted me — us — his friendship and his support despite my horrible treatment of him and my unfair accusations.”
“This is truly incredible!”
“I was sure he would never want to talk to me or even see me again, but still, he welcomed us to Pemberley. What other man would have done that? We accused him of pride and arrogance, and he showed us that his fairness and honour are stronger than his vanity and resentment.”
“My dear Lizzy, only now can I see your turmoil. What will you do? How can I help?”
“There is nothing to be done, Jane. Just enjoy your happiness.” Elizabeth smiled lovingly. “As for Mr Darcy, I shall be content with his friendship and shall allow him the liberty to decide whether he wishes for anything more and to speak whenever he wants.”
“Lizzy, Charles does not know about the proposal, does he? I mean — I have not told him, as you requested.”
“Nobody knows, except for you. Revealing the secret to his friend should be Mr Darcy’s prerogative.”
“I hope he will do it soon…I admit I feel uncomfortable keeping a secret from Charles. I hope he will not mind.”
“It was not your secret to tell, so he should not mind,” Elizabeth responded.
“My dear, we should go downstairs now,” Jane said. “The others must be waiting for us, and I am sure Caroline will use it as another reason to criticise.”
“I could not care less about Caroline Bingley. But you should be harsher with her. She must learn her place and show you due respect!”
“I do not want to upset Charles. We shall travel to London soon, and he says Caroline will move in with the Hursts. Charles said he wishes for us to be alone — finally — and…”
A sudden deep yawn interrupted Jane’s response.
“Apparently you did not sleep well last night either,” Elizabeth teased her.
“Oh…I slept well but very little,” Jane whispered, after a brief hesitation. “In fact, I have slept but a little since I moved to Netherfield.”
“I am sorry to hear that…”
“Do not be sorry, Lizzy. Quite the opposite. I mean…” She paused again, looking around as though she was afraid someone could hear them.
“Do you remember when Aunt Gardiner told us we should not be afraid of the marriage bed if we married the right man? Oh, Lizzy, you cannot imagine! Trust me, we knew nothing of this sort of love!” Jane concluded, her eyes gleaming with joy and her cheeks burning with embarrassment.
Elizabeth felt her cheeks heat too; her own imagination had flown to forbidden places many times since she returned from Pemberley, and her sister’s confession stirred it even more.
“I am very happy for you, dearest Jane,” she admitted, embracing her.
For a moment, she reflected that her sister could have lost that felicity when Mr Bingley left Netherfield, and Mr Darcy certainly had a great share of blame in that situation.
The only good thing to result from that dreadful day at Hunsford and from their painful quarrel was that she had accused Mr Darcy of interfering between her sister and his friend and forced him to see the depths of his error so he could remedy it.
If her own felicity was not possible, Jane’s was enough palliation for Elizabeth’s distress.