Page 13 of Winter of Passion (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

E lizabeth awoke but kept her eyes closed for a little longer.

A sense of utter joy spread throughout her entire body and made her heart beat faster.

Her reason told her she should be embarrassed, but she was not.

Everything that had happened — though far from her maidenly imagination — was between her and her future husband.

It was his ardent love, which he was eager to prove to her, and she was no less desirous to feel and to share.

What she had already confessed to him was true; she had often spoken about marrying for the deepest love without truly understanding what it meant.

In her dreams, based on all the romantic novels she had read, she had a slight understanding of the marriage bed.

The many conversations with her aunt Gardiner had also helped her realise that it was an important part of felicity in marriage, which unfortunately not many women experienced.

As complete as she had believed her comprehension was, she had been proved completely wrong.

And that wonderful, unbelievable night was ‘only the beginning, as he had said.

What more could follow was difficult to guess, but she knew she would find out only after their wedding.

The circumstances would not allow otherwise, either before or after the announcement of their engagement.

Darcy had told her that, once they had made the announcement and obtained Mr Bennet’s blessing, he could purchase a common licence and they could be married in seven days.

The thought was thrilling and stirred her imagination as well as her senses.

Her responses worried her, as she had never experienced them before.

She felt overwhelmed by desires that affected her body and her heart, shadowing her judgment.

Her love for Jane was almost defeated by her selfish desire to be together with Darcy — to become his wife as soon as possible. She needed all her strength to remain loyal and ensure Jane’s comfort by postponing the announcement of their engagement.

Speaking of Jane, Elizabeth was pleased that her sister seemed to enjoy spending time alone with her husband.

If Charles could express his love for Jane nearly as ardently as Darcy, her sister had more reasons for happiness than five thousand pounds a year, Elizabeth mused, mortified by her shameless thoughts.

Reluctantly, she finally left the bed and arranged her appearance with much care for a seemingly long and eventful day.

Although she tried to appear composed and calm to support Jane, she found herself almost as nervous as her sister in regard to the guests’ arrival.

Her memories of Miss Darcy and the colonel were pleasant, but her position was now different.

How would they accept the notion that she would soon be Mrs Darcy?

Lord and Lady Matlock’s response was even more worrisome; Elizabeth expected strong opposition — perhaps not as loudly expressed as Lady Catherine’s and perhaps more restrained, but strong nevertheless.

What would Miss Darcy think if her brother quarrelled with their relatives because of his betrothed?

Elizabeth’s main concern was how the situation would affect Darcy and his sister. To her, no one else’s disapproval meant much, so long as she had the approval that truly mattered.

Of the rest of the guests, Elizabeth did not expect much. She would wait to make their acquaintance and would adjust her manners and behaviour to fit theirs.

With a last glance in the mirror, Elizabeth went down to breakfast; she felt nervous and embarrassed to see Darcy but also eager.

He had left her room at dawn, and she had felt his loss immediately.

He was already there, talking to her brother, with some intervention from Miss Bingley.

His gaze, which wrapped Elizabeth like a warm embrace, confessed that he had missed her too.

Elizabeth was slightly puzzled that Darcy did not even attempt to sit near her at the table. She felt his glances upon her frequently, and in the end, she was grateful for his decision. Having him close to her would probably cause her a distress impossible to conceal.

“I cannot wait to have so many illustrious people at Netherfield — finally!” Mrs Hurst said. “It has been quite dull since we returned. I remember last autumn we were exceedingly happy to return to London. Two months in the country is too much to bear, especially if there is no satisfying company.”

“If you are displeased, Louisa, you are not forced to stay at Netherfield. You may leave whenever you please,” Bingley answered.

“Come, Charles, you surely understand my meaning.”

“I do — therefore I invite you to stay or leave as you please.”

“Even Mr Darcy was annoyed and eager to return to London last autumn,” Miss Bingley added.

“I was,” Darcy admitted. “Last year I considered some of the company not stimulating enough and others too much so. Now I enjoy everyone’s company, though in different ways.”

Elizabeth could not repress a smile, and her cheeks heated when Darcy finally looked at her. His little smile twisted his lips — which she had enjoyed and tasted not so long ago — causing her stomach to clench.

“You have changed your opinion on many subjects, Mr Darcy,” Mrs Hurst claimed.

“I have,” he replied, “and I am quite happy with the outcome.”

“Mr Darcy’s presence was not agreeable to everyone in Meryton either,” Elizabeth said. “But I dare say now his company is generally appreciated, though in different ways.”

“I am quite happy with that outcome too, Miss Bennet,” Darcy responded, causing a shiver down her spine.

“I believe we should expect the first guests around noon,” Jane interjected.

“More likely after noon. I doubt they will wake up early enough to leave at dawn,” Bingley replied.

“My cousin and my sister should be here first,” Darcy said. “Richard likes to begin the journey early when the days are short.”

The conversation continued in the same manner for another hour. There was no carriage in sight yet, so Darcy declared he would retire to the library and write some business letters.

“How interesting that you have so many letters to write, Mr Darcy,” Miss Bingley said. “I would very much like to learn to write some myself!”

“It is no different from writing any other letter, Miss Bingley, except for the subject. And I usually avoid words like ‘dear’ or ‘darling’ in my address.”

He was mocking the lady, who seemed to refuse to learn her lesson. Elizabeth could not suppress a smile, and she was tempted to reply in jest, but the subject of letters was still too sensitive for her to even mention it.

Darcy left the room, and during his absence, Elizabeth paid little attention to the conversation around her.

She fought the temptation to follow him to the library — which was, of course, an impossible notion.

With disbelief, she admitted she missed him, even though he had been gone for only a short while.

After a little while, Darcy returned, and all attention turned to him. To her amazement, he walked towards her and handed her a book.

“Miss Bennet, I should have given you this earlier this morning, but I had no opportunity. And I must do it now, as with all the expected events, I might not find the right moment later.”

She took it with a trembling hand, shivering at the brief brush of his fingers over hers.

“What is that?” Miss Bingley immediately asked, her view obstructed by Darcy’s back.

“It is a book,” Darcy replied.

“A book? What sort of book?” the lady insisted.

“A book that Mr Darcy recommended to me and I wished to read. Surely you remember that I enjoy reading and take pleasure in few other things,” Elizabeth answered with a smile that concealed some of her sharp irony.

Though spoken in jest, the simple word ‘pleasure’ and Darcy’s intense gaze made her quiver.

“Yes, we remember from last year, when you stayed at Netherfield,” Bingley responded. “Caroline, you only ask about books when Elizabeth is interested in them,” he joked.

Miss Bingley turned red, glaring at her brother. “Surely that is not true, Charles!”

“Forgive me, I shall take the book to my room and return soon.” Elizabeth quickly excused herself and left, her heart racing. She knew there must be something in the book but did not dare look at it until she had reached her chamber and closed the door behind her.

Gasping with astonishment, she opened the cover and found a note. From inside it, a gold necklace fell into her hand. Attached to it was a ruby in the shape of a heart.

I found this little piece of jewellery in a shop window last January when I returned to London.

I immediately thought of you, though I believed I would never see you again.

I felt the ruby was your stone — so powerful and passionate.

My heart belonged to you long before I was willing to give it.

For a long while, it was filled with more love, passion, and desire than I dreamt of ever feeling for someone.

And now you have proved to me it is shared.

She stared at the small yet so deeply meaningful gift, hardly breathing and her heart beating irregularly.

The shining gold increased the beauty of the stone — simple, clean, and stunning but not so big as to be ostentatious.

To her, it symbolised a repressed passion and an ardent love still hidden from the world.

She placed a kiss upon the stone, and the sensation reminded her of the kiss she had placed upon Darcy’s heart the previous night.

With grief and sorrow, she recollected the harshness of her rejection last April and her unfair yet brutal accusations against him.

He had said his heart had long belonged to her, and she had been such a fool to wound it.

The sound of voices interrupted her thoughts, and through the window, she spotted a carriage approaching.

She folded the note around the necklace and put it in her reticule, then in her luggage, and hurried downstairs.

The first thing she noticed was Darcy’s gaze, and she smiled at him, slightly inclining her head in gratitude, whispering, “thank you.” It was neither the time nor the place for more, as Darcy, Bingley, and Jane hurried to the front entrance.

She waited in the drawing room, trying to regain some composure.

Moments later, Colonel Fitzwilliam’s joyful voice filled the house, and he entered the drawing room. Behind him was Miss Darcy, holding her brother’s arm, and Mrs Annesley.

“My dear Miss Bennet, how lovely to see you again!” the colonel addressed her. “I have missed your lively and witty company!”

“Colonel Fitzwilliam, it is a pleasure to see you too.” Elizabeth smiled, then curtseyed. “Miss Darcy, Mrs Annesley, I am delighted to see you again.”

Greetings were exchanged, then the colonel turned his attention to Bingley’s sisters and Mr Hurst. Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst already looked vexed — likely from the attention given to Elizabeth.

They responded to the colonel with restrained politeness and to Miss Darcy with excessive friendship and praise.

“Come, let us all sit,” Bingley invited them. “I am so happy to see you! And I thank you for coming.”

“It is our pleasure, of course,” the colonel responded. “We were eager to meet Mrs Bingley — whose beauty has not been exaggerated at all. You are a very fortunate man, my friend!”

Jane blushed. “You are very kind, Colonel. Lizzy has spoken so much and so highly of you, sir. And of course of Miss Darcy, whom we are so honoured to have here.”

“We were honoured by your invitation, Mrs Bingley,” the girl said. “Please allow me to congratulate you on your recent marriage. My brother said you are a perfect match, which I can already see.”

“Yes, we are, thank you. Darcy is right most of the time — I shall by no means contradict him on that,” Bingley said enthusiastically, causing much laughter.

“Dear Georgiana looks more grown up and more beautiful every time we see her, which is quite often,” Miss Bingley interjected.

“We have been intimate friends for so long, and we are still in awe of her. There are very few women so accomplished, especially in music. We have missed listening to some real performances at the pianoforte since we returned to Netherfield.”

“Thank you, Miss Bingley, but you are kindly exaggerating my accomplishments,” Miss Darcy answered shyly. “As for playing the pianoforte, my brother and I both enjoyed listening to Miss Bennet.”

“Now you are too kind, Miss Darcy. I cannot compare with you — we all know that. Your talent is exceptional, and your execution is flawless. I enjoy playing, but my talent is scarce and my effort in practising is even less.”

“I shall not contradict my sister Elizabeth on that either,” Bingley declared, and more laughter filled the room.

Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst’s vexation seemed to increase with every moment, and Elizabeth felt a selfish satisfaction. The sisters’ attempts to always offend Jane and their family was irritating, and their constant failure was more enjoyable.

“Would you like to see your chambers?” Jane asked timidly. “We asked Mr Darcy’s opinion in choosing them. I hope you will be pleased with the choice. If not, we shall gladly offer you other rooms.”

“I am sure the rooms will be perfect,” the colonel replied. “I believe Georgiana and Mrs Annesley would like to change and rest. As for me, I shall ask Bingley for the favour of a drink.”

“Certainly, Colonel!” Bingley jumped to his feet. “Shall we go to the library? Hurst, Darcy, will you join us?” he asked, and the gentlemen agreed.

“I shall lead Miss Darcy and Mrs Annesley to their rooms,” Jane said.

“And I shall come with you,” Elizabeth added, all four of them walking together.

Only Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst remained in the drawing room and immediately began to chat. Elizabeth smiled to herself and the guests.