Page 79 of Wings of Darkness (Daughter of the Seven Circles #2)

My mother’s funeral took place tonight, and my father wouldn’t even allow us in his room to retrieve her body. Ironic, seeing as he was the one who declared her funeral. Ronen said he’d take care of it, and I decided that while he did, I’d wander the castle. I had nothing better to do.

It was either wander numb, visit Oliver in his coma state and ask Sam for the hundredth time when he’d wake up, or lock myself in my room and let loneliness and pain consume me as I cried morning, afternoon, and night.

Eventually, I found myself using Ronen’s key and my blood to unlock the dungeons. My Glory fell asleep the moment I stepped into the long room. Sturdy Ember Metal and three-foot-thick walls crafted each cell .

I walked until I saw him, then slid down the damp wall across from his bars. Part of me wanted Aspen out of his cage, and another part thought he was better off in there. It was safer. The majority of Hell despised him.

We stared at each other, both unsure how to proceed after everything that had happened.

His vibrant blues reflected the devastation of his lies and treatment of me, as did the feelings I could sense from him again.

And the fact that Ronen said he’d been in Aspen’s head—after carving the opposing rune into Aspen’s skin with his ebony feather, which MJ had retrieved from Oliver during the mayhem—officially eliminated the Hell Rune’s commands.

It was a precautionary measure, even though Oliver had already helped Aspen break free of his control. This way, we never had to worry again.

Everything from now on, everything Aspen said or did, was all him.

Aspen dropped his gaze and let his head fall back against his metal prison. “I don’t know what to say to you, Lucille. I want to apologize. I want to get down on my knees and beg for your forgiveness. But I don’t even think that’d be enough.”

“I should’ve known,” I admitted. How many times did I think things were off in our dream-walks? How many times did I push my suspicions away? Or how about the nightmare I had of him being tortured—the one I believed Lilith had controlled?

He shook his head. “If you’d known, how could you have stopped me or Lilith? I mean, yes, you could’ve prevented me from touching you with my disgusting, manipulative hands and?—”

“Stop!” I couldn’t take the reminder or the disgust he had for himself. He quieted, but I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to separate my feelings from my thoughts. His actions and words destroyed me. Yet of course, they were Lilith’s actions and words.

But were they?

“How much of it was you in the dream-walks? How much of it was the truth?”

He flinched, and his shame deepened. “A lot of it,” he whispered. “But I did it for her, not you. She wanted me to be as close to myself as possible to persuade you to trust me. It was the only way after I told her how you reacted to the Hell Rune in Elora.”

“If she wasn’t forcing you, would you have gone through with any of it? With…”

“Why does it matter, Lucille?”

“Because of what we…” I trailed off. The feelings I had for Aspen were tainted with betrayal and blame.

He scoffed. “There is no fucking we anymore.”

Anger heated my blood, and I stood, glaring down at him. “What about our guardian bond?”

“Guardian bond?” He rose to his feet. “I can tell you right now I’ve never been your guardian. I’ve only ever hurt you. Might as well forget about it and go on your merry way, Princess.”

I slammed my palms against his bars. “How could I ever forget about it? I’m pretty sure our stupid bond put you above my mother!” I screamed. “I chose you!”

The energy beneath my skin had to be from our bond. That was the only explanation I had.

He laughed, self-loathing thick in the sound. “Then why are you still here? Why did you even come down here? You should hate my guts. ”

I opened my mouth to scream at him again, but the words didn’t come. Why was I down here? Because I wanted to make sure he was okay. Because his depressive emotions had seeped through our connection while I wandered the halls, and I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to help him.

“What are you holding onto? Those few moments in your Earthly forest when I was kind to you? Curious about you? I was just a passing fancy to settle your need for mystery and adventure, and you were just a distraction from my fucked-up life.”

Despite the self-hatred and shame I could feel from him, his words still punched me in my fragile chest. I probably would’ve cried if my mother’s death and Oliver’s state hadn’t stolen all my tears.

I surveyed his tortured expression, his tousled brown hair, and his bony fingers, hoping they’d feed him better here, then turned and left.

Regret instantly shot through the bond.

“Sweetheart, wait!”

I paused. “I never want to hear that name from your mouth ever again.” Then continued up the stairs.

“Lucille!” he called out again.

I ignored him and left him to his suffering.

I understood his regret and pain, but I no longer wanted to live in it.

Oliver was right—I didn’t need a knight in shining armor to catch me on the way down, because he wasn’t trying to catch me.

He was trying to drag me down with him, and I’d had enough .

I just needed to make sure he was at least breathing.

Whether that was because of the bond or my conscience, I didn’t know, nor did I want to spend time thinking about it .

RONEN

Finally, after having it out with the king, he released Saraqael’s body to be prepared, to be burned and buried in the Eternal Forest. Once it occurred, she’d be able to cycle to Hell or Heaven, and I think that scared him.

He would either have to damn his cordistella to be tortured, or he’d never see her again as she ascended to Heaven.

It would be the most difficult judgment of his long life.

I didn’t think Lucille even had the chance to consider the ramifications of her mom’s death, and what came after.

But with the amount of pain consuming her, I refrained from saying anything.

She’d need to know eventually, but I needed her to have enough will to get up in the mornings.

Rune stuck by her side these past two days, and all Lucille had done was cry and stare off into space.

It destroyed me.

But not as much as when she asked me yesterday to turn it all off, with watery, starry eyes.

One look, one question, and she completely gutted me.

Of course I wanted to take away her devastation.

But turning off her emotions would only prevent her from healing.

When I told her no, I had to take out my helplessness on a punching bag with Alexei.

His wounds had shaken me when I watched him stand and stumble in Lilith’s castle.

But Sam did a good job healing him. He’d had to rebreak parts of Alexei’s wings to save them.

He’d need a couple more healing sessions and physical therapy before he’d be cleared to fly.

For now, he sported a pair of patched-up, semi-featherless wings that still hung weakly at his back, and somehow still managed to use them to lure in the females.

Of course, the sob story he gave them helped.

Nothing got him down—the insufferable male.

But I needed his strength; my own waned.

MJ found me in the hall later. I was happy to see she’d finally had Sam heal her.

“Ronen, with Lilith dead, does that mean the infection died with her?”

“We’d be foolish to think that without more evidence.

” Every infected soul I’d interrogated said we.

Unless we referred to the infected demons as a whole, Lilith wasn’t their only creator.

“If she was the source, then what’s left of her demonic creations should be mindless without her control, and hopefully incapable of continuing to spread the infection.

Regardless, we’ll continue to search and kill what’s left in our domain. ”

“And the Tenebrous Kingdom?”

I shook my head. “Once Oliver wakes, we’ll regroup, speak to the king, and make a plan before heading back to find his sister. Hopefully by then we’ll have more answers.”

MJ nodded. I was about to leave for my room, but she stopped me.

“I saw Lucille leaving the castle alone. Just thought you should know.”

I sighed. “In what direction?”

“Toward Portal Lake.”

I found the nearest roof, manifested my wings, and flew off to find her. It didn’t take long. She weaved between the Eternal Forest and the Verdant Forest. I maneuvered into an open spot, scooped her up, and shot us into the skies .

Her yelp of surprise was a breath of fresh air after all the pain I continued to feel from her.

“What are you doing?” she asked, pressing into my body to keep away from the forceful wind.

For once, I didn’t use my shadows to create a barrier. She shivered in her leggings and baggy sweatshirt. I gritted my teeth, refraining from protecting her. I wanted her to feel , and if that meant forcing her to endure the harsh wind, then fine.

“Flying. What are you doing?”

Before, she would’ve narrowed her eyes in annoyance. But now, there was no expression.

“Walking.”

I gazed down at her, finding her staring out into the cloudy sky. Her eyes were still puffy and red from this morning. I had to look away, feeling my helplessness rise again.

I wanted her out of this state. But it would take far longer than two days.

It didn’t help that Oliver had sustained a severe brain bleed and remained in a coma until he healed.

Sam said he could wake up any day—we just had to wait.

I wished that day were today. Maybe that’d give her some joy. Some hope. Fuck, I’d take anything .

Flying to Portal Lake, I touched down on the cliff. We sat, our legs dangling over the edge.

“We’re preparing your mom for tonight,” I said softly.

She flinched, and I cringed. She needed to know.