Page 18 of Wings of Darkness (Daughter of the Seven Circles #2)
“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “Oli, what do we do? I can’t leave him like he is. He can’t stay there doing heaven-knows-what for her . I can’t—I think I might… I…”
“Stop.” Oliver took my shaking hand. “I’m only saying this because I have years on you, but before you say what I think you’ll say, I need you to wait.”
“Why?” I tugged on his hold, not liking where this was headed.
“Why do you have feelings for him?”
“He cares about me. He protects me.” He makes me feel like no one ever has.
Oliver pursed his lips, frustration thickening his voice. “I didn’t know carting you to his evil queen was protection.” I opened my mouth to protest, but he didn’t give me a chance. “I care about you. I try to protect you. Do you love me?”
“Not like that.”
“So, is it his good looks? Because if it is, you might want to reconsider—I’d say the general ranks above the prince in that department.”
My irritation spiked. “You know the answer to that. Aspen…” My voice faltered as I tried to explain. “He makes me feel safe. Seen, like I matter. He’s different.”
“Seen how, Lucy? What do you even know about him? What does he even know about you?” Oliver pressed.
I gritted my teeth. Why did it matter to him?
“What is the point of this conversation? Are you jealous? Do you want me like that?” I blurted, knowing it was absurd the moment I said it .
He sighed, a long, weary exhale. “No, I love you like a sister, Luce. But someone needs to look after you the right way. Your family’s coping mechanisms are messed up—abuse, overprotective to an extreme, and possessive indifference—it’s not healthy.
If you love the prince, fine, love him. We’re rescuing his ass either way, I know that.
” His voice softened. “But seriously, Lucy, ask yourself why. I may not know all that’s gone on between the two of you, but I do know the look in your eyes when you speak of rescuing him scares me. ”
“What look?”
“The look where you’d give absolutely everything for him—even your life.”
My head dipped as shame burned in my gut—and something else I couldn’t name.
“Would that be so bad?”
“Didn’t we already talk about giving too much of yourself? Your life is on that damned list, Lucy. And I just…” He trailed off, a deep unease settling into his voice. “I have this feeling.”
“A feeling?” I pulled away and stood. “That’s what you’re going off? A feeling?”
The expression on Oliver’s face put pressure behind my eyes. I didn’t want his pity. When he opened his mouth, I knew I didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say.
“What if it’s the bond?”
“How do you know about that?”
“He told me after you were taken. That’s how he got me to trust him enough to follow him. ”
I backed away. “That doesn’t mean the bond is forcing my feelings,” I snapped, turning sharply and heading to my closet to find different clothes.
“Okay, fine. Then let’s talk about someone you haven’t mentioned since you saw her. Your mom . Are you going to give her all your energy so she lives and you die?”
“Of course not!” I’d never see her again if I did that.
“And while we’re on the topic—how is Aspen, who’s under Lilith’s thumb, going to find Michael for you? And what if he doesn’t? Who will you save first?”
I ripped off the general’s shirt and pants, chucking them at the wall. Sam’s crystal bounced out of the pants pocket and across the floor.
“Will you leave your mom in a coma while we attempt to convince the general to help us save Aspen and my sister? Or will we save them second and try to kill Michael first?”
I yanked on new clothing and pocketed the crystal, my hands shaking from the overwhelming weight of his questions.
“Did you ever consider we can only save one at a time?” Oliver’s voice was quieter, almost gentle, as if he knew what he was doing to me.
“No,” I whispered from my closet, my eyes wide with horror as the implications of his words settled like lead in my stomach.
“What if we have to choose, Lucy?” he asked, his words piercing my chest. “Who would you choose?”
Choose? Like I was picking out something to wear for the day. This wasn’t some simple answer. I couldn’t just pick one over the other. How could I possibly choose ?
“Who has more time? How long can you and your mother last with a Wrath Rune? Or how long can Aspen survive under Lilith’s control?”
“Stop,” I gasped, his words choking me. I didn’t want to hear any more.
“Have you thought about the consequences of going one direction or the other?”
I splayed and clenched my shaking hands, trying to steady myself, but my vision blurred. “No. Stop! Please, just stop talking.”
Oliver’s drilling, heart-wrenching questions pressed on my chest, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I stormed out of my bedroom and wrenched open the door to the hall, not caring where I went—just needing to escape.
Rune lifted her head, and Oliver shot up off the couch. “Where are you going?”
“Don’t follow me. Please.”
I wasn’t sure who I was begging—Oliver, who wasn’t trying to be cruel, or the general who suddenly illuminated Rune’s eyes, who definitely saw the tears streaming down my face after I’d tried so hard to be strong in the healers’ wing.
I ran out of my room, slamming the door in Rune’s face, and kept running until I collapsed in front of the library.
My hand clamped over my mouth, holding back my whimpers. I’d never considered I might have to choose who to save—but now that I was forced to think about it, the ache in my chest was unbearable.
Because deep down, I knew.
And the guilt threatened to destroy me.