Page 44

My heart is beating so fast I feel like there’s a hummingbird trapped in my chest. The second I saw her hit the ground, my world stopped.

Had she not used the fob to start her car, she would have been inside when it went up in flames.

She could have died, at the very least suffered from some serious burns.

The fire department is here, and the guys from the Hawks have rallied around the two of us.

I asked them not to tell my brother or Hannah until we figure out what happened.

We all agreed that while we don’t want to keep it from them, those two are the biggest overthinkers on the planet, and the last thing we need is them flipping out, asking all the questions we don’t have the answers to yet.

Abby hasn’t said a word. She’s just watched the flames dance over her car, her face a mask of indifference.

I, however, haven’t let go of her since I pulled her off the ground.

Dex and his patrol partner arrived about ten minutes ago.

They tried to ask her questions, but she just stared blankly at them.

So, I told them what I knew, what I saw.

They asked if she needed to be taken to the hospital, but she shook her head no.

Dex said Eilliot was already working to take down any and all evidence of this from the internet, while also keeping it from being put on the news.

While I greatly appreciate that, I wish it hadn’t gotten to this point in the first place.

With that, they gave us the okay to leave, stating the car is going to be towed for investigation.

The fire department will determine what caused the fire, and then they’ll go from there .

She doesn’t move, so I pick her up and place her in the front seat, buckling her seat belt before closing the door behind her.

When I get to the front of my car, I turn to face the guys.

“I’m going to take her to my place. I don’t want her to be alone.

” They nod, Samuels flashing an eyebrow at me in question.

“Now's not the time to get into it, man. I’m not going to hurt her.” He simply nods, they stand guard as I make my way to the driver's side, climb in, and pull away from the curb.

As soon as we’re out of the parking lot, my hand finds her thigh. “Abby, talk to me.” I squeeze slightly, “Please.” The car rolls to a stop at a light, and I turn to look at her. Her eyes are still blank, lifeless.

She blinks slowly. “Home.” Is all she gives me, and I doubt I’ll get much more even if I push for it. I aimlessly run my thumb slowly up and down her thigh. I don’t know what she needs right now, so I’ll give her what I can until she tells me to stop.

Pulling into my parking spot, I take a deep breath, hoping it will quell some of the adrenaline running through me.

It doesn’t, but I need to get her inside.

Pulling her door open, she still hasn’t moved, her seat belt is still buckled, and her hands are still tightly laced together in her lap.

“Come on, sweetheart,” I say as I lean over her, releasing her belt and wrapping her arms around my neck.

I carry her into my apartment like she’s a koala, and there’s nothing that compares to the feeling of knowing she’s safe in my arms.

“What the hell happened?” Zeke yells from his room as the front door slams shut behind me.

I don't put her down, instead, I drop my bag to the floor, putting one arm under her thighs to support her while I cradle the back of her head with the other. The second his face comes into v iew, it matches the murderous feeling I’ve got on the inside. “Samuels texted me.” Well, that’s just great.

She groans against me as she lowers her feet to the ground.

I let her go but put my hands on her shoulders to steady her.

“I need you to give me something here, Tink. You haven’t said a word.

” Her chin quivers, and it takes everything in me not to walk out the door and turn this city inside out until I find whoever did this.

She looks up at me through her lashes, lashes that have tears clinging to them.

It’s moments like this that humanize her, that make me realize she has feelings.

Feelings that actually get hurt. She isn’t the cold, heartless robot with a chip on her shoulder.

She’s a woman who felt like being tough was her only option, except on the inside, she may as well be a little kid crying out for affection.

When she finally speaks, it’s not anything close to what I thought she’d say. “Do you know what I was most afraid of the second I realized what was happening?” My hands run up her shoulders, coming to rest on the sides of her neck as I shake my head.

I fear that if I open my mouth, she’ll shut down. She’s already a flight risk, I can't take a chance at pushing her over the edge. “That it could have been you. You drive my car all the time, Tate. That could have been you.”

I can barely process what she just said.

I suddenly feel like I’m spinning wildly out of control.

She wasn’t thinking about herself. Wasn’t concerned with her own safety.

She was scared for me. I spent so much time convincing myself that we were nothing more than enemies with a complicated truce whenever Hannah and my brother were around.

All that time, I could have been cared for like this?

She huffs out a breath through her nose. “I love you.” A tear rolls down her cheek, and she catches it with her tongue before looking fully up at me. “I hate that I love you.” Pain laces her voice as she continues. “Out of all the people in the world, you were the last person I expected to love.”

She pauses, twisting the ring on her thumb, “I hate that we wasted so much time clawing at each other, I hate that you make me feel things I’ve tried to keep locked away.” My entire body freezes as I stare at her, and there are tears sliding down her cheeks.

“But what I hate the most is the thought of losing you.” She sniffles as she brings her hands to my forearms. “I can’t lose you, Tatum. I won’t survive it.” I pull her into me before she can utter another word. She loves me, well, she hates that she loves me. But she loves me nonetheless.

I snake my hand up the back of her shirt, rubbing up and down her spine with the pads of my fingers.

I breathe deep in through my nose, committing her scent to memory.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, thinking it’s my brother, I pull it out.

Only for my stomach to sour even further.

There on the screen is a picture the second the car lit up, Abby is mid-air, and the accompanying text rips the carpet out from under me.

“If you were smart, you’d realize this is about you, not her. She may not be so lucky next time.”

As my eyes meet Zeke over her head, I know what I have to do, and it tears me apart.

Just when it finally feels like I have a shot at being with someone.

Someone who just seconds ago told me she loved me, and now I have a decision to make.

I have to go back to dickhead Tate, even if that's at the expense of our happiness. I’ll do it to keep her safe, I’ll do it because I love her.

I’ll pray every night that she’ll realize I never gave up on her once we figure this all out. Because we will, and I’ll come back for her. She’s my entire world, but I won’t be the reason she gets hurt, or worse.

Tonight, I’ll revel in her. In all she has to offer, in the way she loves me.

I haven’t missed the way she touches me every chance she gets, even if she’s just walking by.

I feel her love in the way she genuinely wants to know me, and I feel it in every kiss.

I feel it in the way she reaches out for me while she’s asleep.

And in the morning, I’ll break her heart along with my own.

I made sure I was gone before she got up this morning.

I couldn’t sleep anyway. I was too caught up in watching her.

The way her eyes move when she’s dreaming, the way she stretches in her sleep.

How every time I start to move, her arm comes around my waist. Her soft, dreamy smile when I kiss her cheek or forehead.

I didn’t steal her phone to call her brothers like I wanted to, but I did turn my location off so she couldn’t find me.

My chest already hurts, like someone’s taken a bat to my ribs.

I feel bruised, like part of me is missing.

She’s called twice in the past five minutes, and I’ve declined it on the first ring both times.

I might just have to block her number because there's nothing I want to do more than beg her to forgive me for leaving. I’m halfway to the police station when Zeke calls.

I should have known better, but out of habit, I answered it. “Hey, man.”

I feel the gasp that sounds over the phone in my soul.

“So you’ll answer for Zeke, but not me. Got it.

” The shake in her voice almost makes me turn the car around.

But I can’t, I need answers, and I need to know she isn’t a target for anyone.

I don’t say anything, knowing my voice would betray me, so I simply hang up.

I hang up, knowing what that will do to her. One of the issues she had with me early on was accountability. Learning that loyalty and consistency were so important to her, I already know what I’ve done.

My phone doesn’t ring again, but it does light up with a few notifications, two from Zeke, one from Abby.

Zeke: I don’t know what happened between last night and this morning, but I’ve never seen her like this.

Zeke: You’re going to regret whatever you're doing.

Don’t I freaking know it.

Abby: Huh. Funny way to show someone you love them.

The gut punch that her message delivers has me gasping for air.

She’s never going to forgive me for this.

She told me she wouldn’t survive losing me less than 12 hours ago, and I left her.

She told me she loved me, and I disappeared.

And I’d do it again for as long as I need to.

Her safety means more to me than my comfort.

Her safety means more to me than my feelings for her. Her safety comes before everything.

I’ll deny myself of her every day of my life if that’s what’ll keep her safe. And the best way to do that? Remind her of all the reasons she hated me in the first place.