Page 18

What is wrong with me? I don’t do this. I’ve known her for two years and have never felt the bone-deep urge to protect her like I do right now.

I’ve never felt anything but annoyance. I don’t have answers; all I know is when she confirmed those assholes hurt her, I saw red.

I said friends, but honestly, I’m one stop short of begging her to give me a chance.

Begging her to see how good we could be together.

But mostly, I want to beg her to let me protect her, which I know would go over like a lead balloon.

What I don’t understand is where these feelings came from.

Is it because Dr. Williams told me I should try to start letting people in again?

Or is it all the time we’ve spent together over the past few months?

We’ve been dancing around each other for years now. Is our hate just disguised interest?

I know Reed was trying to see if he could make me jealous.

Hopefully, I hid it well, but deep down, I wanted to punch him in the face.

Wanted to pull her away from him so he couldn’t wrap his arms around her shoulders like he always does.

She invades my senses, my mind, and I don’t know how to stop it.

When my basket is full and I’ve gotten everything on my half, I meet her by the checkout.

“Do you need anything else?” She shakes her head and pushes the cart forward.

When the clerk finishes scanning our items, she starts to pay, but I’m faster, tapping my card on the top of the device.

She looks up at me, a soft smile gracing her face.

One that looks angelic, one that tells me this quiet, gentle version of Abby might just be the real v ersion.

The one hidden under that tough girl exterior, the exterior that makes a heck of a lot more sense now.

After loading the groceries, I grab her hand as she walks to the driver's side. She looks at me over her shoulder, a blonde hair escaping her bun. I tuck it behind her ear before leaning in, “Those guys are scum.” I gently press a kiss to her forehead. “You deserve the world, Knight.” She doesn’t smile, just absently blinks at me before taking her hand out of mine and getting into the car.

I stand out in the cold for a few seconds after she shuts her door, letting the air calm the fire raging inside me.

I haven’t felt like this in a long time, not since Nikki.

I’m hesitant, but at the same time, there’s this pull to see where it goes.

One that could end very badly for both of us, not to mention our friends.

But I’ve never been one to play it safe.

Well, maybe in the dating aspect of life, given I shut that whole operation down. I’m pulled out of my thoughts when she honks the horn at me. I let my head fall back as a groan leaves my lips; this woman is going to be the death of me.

When we’re about five minutes from the house, I break the silence. “You don’t have to pretend you’re okay. At least not with me.” I watch as she digs her teeth into her bottom lip. She takes a deep inhale and then lets it out slowly.

“I don’t know what to do with this side of you.

” Her chuckle is soft, and I find myself smiling.

A genuine one. She catches it and gasps.

“See!” She squeals as she bounces lightly in her seat.

“In the two-ish years I’ve known you, I’ve seen that smile twice, both of which were in the last few days.

Who are you, and what have you done with Tatum?

!” My head hits the headrest as a deep, bellowing laugh leaves me.

My eyes shut as her surprised squeal replays over and over in my head.

The car rolls to a stop at the mouth of the street the cabin is on.

I look over to see her wide, unblinking eyes locked on me.

I run my hand up the side of her arm until it lands on her cheek; she immediately leans into my palm.

“This is the real Tatum,” I whisper. “The one that existed before shit hit the fan. Apparently, you’re the only one he feels safe enough to come out around. ” I shrug as her mouth drops open.

Her mouth closes after a few more seconds, but she continues to look at me.

Interest, confusion, and disbelief are all evident in the way her eyes trace over me.

Each pass tracks like a physical touch; I can’t deny that I like being on the receiving end of her attention.

Which is freaking weird because normally, I’d do whatever I could to not be in her line of sight.

“Can you bring grumpy Tatum back?” Her voice is tight, like she’s struggling to breathe.

My eyes meet hers, and that's when I catch denial. I drop my hand until it’s resting on the side of her neck.

Giving it a little squeeze, I nod. It’s easy to fall into that category when other people are around, but when it’s just her and I? I’m not sure I want to.

Abby stands in the kitchen cooking Hawaiian chicken with pineapple and rice. It smells delicious; my mouth is already watering. I want to ask if she needs help, but that would draw unwant ed attention. So, instead, I sit in the corner of the room with a nice cold beer.

She cleans as she goes, wiping down every surface or utensil the second she’s done with it.

She’s so lost in her head that when Monroe walks in, she startles.

He whispers something in her ear, and I see the transformation in real time.

They’re up to something; the mischievous glint in her eyes gives it away.

They narrow slightly but shine a bit brighter, and she has her lips pressed together so hard they’re turning white.

When he finishes what he’s saying, she smiles and nods.

He leaves, my gaze tracking his movement as he walks out the door to the backyard.

I want to follow him, but the sound of a forceful hiss from the kitchen has my head snapping in that direction.

Abby’s looking down at her hand in shock; I’m on my feet and by her side in four steps.

“Shit.” I grab a towel and some ice from the freezer, gently cupping the back of her hand as I bring the makeshift ice pack to her burned palm. “Do we have any soy sauce?”

Her eyebrows shoot up, her lips parting slightly. “Funny time to be thinking about Chinese food.” She breathes through the pain. I feel the corners of my lips pull up slightly, but I quickly school it when Hannah comes around the corner and gasps.

“What happened?!” She says as she barrels into the kitchen, barely stopping in time before she bowls us over.

Her eyes bounce between where I’m holding Abby’s hurt hand and our faces.

“Are you okay? Do I need to take you to the hospital?” I look at her through narrowed eyes, and she flings her hand through the air, brushing me off.

Her best friend, on the other hand, is still looking at me.

I give her a wink with the eye Hannah can’ t see, and her face and neck break out in the most beautiful pink flush I’ve ever seen.

Hmm, I want to be the reason for that reaction again. “I’m fine. I got distracted and forgot I took the oven mitt off. I grabbed the pan with my hand.” Hannah’s eyebrows pull low above her eyes as she takes Abby in.

“You never get distracted.” Hannah steps in closer to us, taking Abby’s hand from mine.

I want to protest, but I don’t see that going well for anyone.

“What’s going on? And don’t lie to me; I know something’s off.

” She whispers. Abby looks at me over Hannah’s shoulder, and I give her a small smile before I walk away.

Grabbing my beer, I walk out to the balcony.

My solitude doesn’t last long when the door opens, and my brother moves to stand beside me.

His hands are shoved in the front pockets of his jeans as he looks over the landscape at the back of the house.

The rest of his teammates and Zeke are in the hot tub.

Well, Monroe might not be with whatever he and Abby have up their sleeve.

Whatever, not my problem. “Thank you,” Greyson says after a few minutes.

I turn and lean my hip against the railing, crossing my arms over my chest as I look at him. “For what?”

His smile is small, causing alarm bells to ring through my head. That’s a smile that's reserved for his dark days. Did something happen? Is he spiraling? I don’t–

“You and Abby putting this together,” he finally says. “I know that wasn’t an easy ask, but I appreciate it.” He steps toward me and wraps his arms around my shoulders, patting me on the back in the typical bro hug.

His voice takes on a hopeful tone as he continues. “You and Abby are two of the most important people in our lives. We want b oth of you to be happy.” He takes a deep breath, one I feel through my entire body.

“I know this was hard for both of you to get through, so thank you. Thank you for putting your differences aside to help me pull this off.” He gives me one last pat before he pulls away. “When your time comes, and you need us to do the same, Hannah and I have you both covered.”

Huh? This was not the direction I thought this was going.

I nod and turn back to the tree line. “How did you do it?” He turns his head slightly, but I keep my eyes focused on the swaying trees.

“After Kara, how did you let someone in?” He blows out a breath, his lips flapping like a horse.

I rest my forearms on the railing as I turn my head slightly toward him.

He rubs the back of his neck, eyes darting around the yard.

His hands find their way into his sweatshirt pocket as he leans against the railing.

“I was her friend first.” I snort; that was not how it happened.

She was never his friend in his eyes. He raises one hand in the air as he continues.

“Albeit a short friendship. But, I just kinda knew she was it.” His hand returns to his pocket as he crosses one ankle over the other.

The smile that’s reserved for “all things Hannah” makes its way to his face.

“She made me want to be better. Not only for her, but for everyone else in my life. She helped me see that the manipulation wasn’t my fault. ”

He looks down at his feet and shakes his head before looking up to meet my eyes.

“But what sealed the deal was the way she was there for me. She knew my struggles, and she didn’t run.

She’s never once made me feel like less of a man because I have days so dark I can’t get out of bed.

She sits with me through it and pu lls me out when I can’t do it myself. She’s the peace to my chaos.”

His eyes shine with tears threatening to fall.

But I know they’re happy tears, grateful tears.

“The way she loves me,” He lets out a watery laugh as a tear falls through his lashes.

“It saved me, Tate. Maybe it won’t happen all at once or as fast as it did for us.

” His head turns to the side, and I watch as a few more tears trail down his cheek.

“Hell, maybe it will. But one day, some very lucky, very tough woman is going to love you the same way. And you’ll just know.

The peace in your heart when you think about her, the desire to protect and provide, even though she can do it herself. It all just pieces itself together.”

His thoughtful look turns hopeful at the drop of a hat.

“Does that mean you’re seeing someone?” He asks, and I let my head drop forward as I laugh.

I never thought I’d be having this discussion.

I never thought I’d be thinking about letting someone in ever again.

But here I am with a blonde little pixie flitting around in my mind.

“No, I’m not.” I clear my throat, buying myself some time. “But I think it might be time I try to put myself back out there. I don’t want to be broken and alone forever.”

His hand finds my shoulder as he squeezes it.

“You aren’t broken. You’ve been burned.” His big brother's voice comes out strong as he continues. “They tried to ruin your future, but they didn’t. Build a friendship with someone first; let it come naturally. Don’t just jump in head first like I did.

” I focus on the branches swaying in the distance as I let his words settle, “I know you don’t view relationships the same way I do, and that’s okay.

Build a strong foundation, one built on trust and mutual understanding.

If it grows into more from there, let it ride. ”

He says it like it’s no big deal, like trusting someone doesn’t have the ability to break me all over again. But like a moth to a flame, my eyes go to Abby, who has her head down over the sink. I watch as she turns and dries her hands off on a towel before picking up her phone.

Whatever was on there had the color draining from her face, and the phone dropping out of her hand onto the floor. The same look of fear she had at the gas station is back. And just like that, I go from hating her existence to wanting to protect it with my own.