Page 60

YULIAN

I should feel like the happiest man in the world.

I’m in my jacuzzi with Mia, under the stars, on the balcony of my penthouse. I can hear the noises from the rooftop party, but no one can see us here.

“Should we be going back?” she asks, nestled into my arms. “To the party?”

“No.”

She lets out a little laugh at my tone. “Can’t say I’ve ever met anyone who wants to work less than you.”

“Only when you’re around.”

“That might prove difficult, considering the terms of our contract.”

Right.

That.

“You shouldn’t worry about that anymore,” I rasp, guilt catching in my throat. “I’ll liquidate you first thing in the morning. You won’t have to?—”

“No,” she says, touching my arm. “No more money.”

I frown. “You’ve earned it.”

“And now, I’m telling you I don’t want it.” She forces confidence into her voice. “I think this hasn’t been about work in a long time,” she says, gesturing between us. “Don’t you?”

“You still?—”

“I don’t want to cheapen it,” she whispers. “What we have. To me, it’s worth more than any number.”

Her blue eyes gaze back into mine, trembling and uncertain. Like she’s scared that I’m going to change my mind, pull back on my promise, even now.

Like Brad did.

Fury coils in my gut, but I force myself to push past it. Right now, it isn’t my fury Mia needs.

“We can table this discussion for another time,” I tell her. “For now…” I reach for the tray behind me and pick up a chocolate-covered strawberry. “Open wide.”

She blushes at my choice of words, but obeys. I push the fruit into her waiting mouth. My cock twitches with interest at the sight, despite all the work I’ve put it through tonight.

But I’m no longer surprised. When it comes to Mia, I’m insatiable.

And I should be happy.

She said yes. She’s marrying me. She’s mine.

But all I can feel is guilt. Because I know, if she ever found out the real reason I proposed to her tonight, she’d never forgive me for it.

Nor what I’ve done.

Used her. Lied to her. Put her in danger.

Marrying her feels like the least I can do.

And fuck me, I do love her. Enough to forsake all my plans, all my bloodlust. So why can’t that be enough?

Why can’t I just be happy ?

Because you know this is wrong, that cold voice at the back of my mind whispers. You’re still lying to her. You’re still putting her at risk.

You’re just dressing her in white for it.

I want to call it a liar, but I can’t. Even now, Mia is still in unspeakable danger. She’s still the lamb I paraded around for the slaughter.

And because of that, I need to make her my wife as soon as possible.

Mia closes her lips around the strawberry. I feel her tongue lapping at my fingertips, just enough to tease.

She has no idea what kind of monster she’s about to marry. What kind of beast is feeding her treats while tightening the noose around her neck.

“When did you get these?” Her hands start tracing the tattoos on my arms. Jagged lines, soft lines—her fingers don’t discriminate, following each with reverence.

“Eighteen,” I answer, covering her hand with mine. “My swearing-in ceremony.”

“Sounds important.”

“It is.”

“What’s it like? A swearing-in ceremony?”

“You’ll see one eventually.”

“As your pakhansha? ”

Yes. And my prisoner.

“You’ve learned that word very quickly.”

“I’m a quick study.” She grins big. “Wanted to go into foreign languages when I was a kid. Then…” She takes a long, deep breath. “Dad got sick one day. It was all very out of the blue. I was fourteen.”

“Sick?”

“He collapsed,” she explains. “While we were down at the beach. Everyone was saying it was just the heat, to put him in the shade and give him some water, but I knew that wasn’t it. In my gut, I just knew.”

“You called 911?”

“You bet I did.” She slumps against my chest. “Dad was furious. Said we were making a scene in front of the neighbors, running up a bill for nothing. Mom and Ginny backed me up, though. We stuffed him in the back of that ambulance and followed by car.”

“Ginny?”

“My sister.” Her tone turns wistful. “I haven’t seen her in five years. None of them, really.”

Realization dawns. “Because of Brad.”

She gives me a weak smile. “Couldn’t let his goons put a tail on me back to New York, could I? Especially not with…”

A kid in tow with curly blond hair and the perfect age to be his.

“You won’t have to worry about that anymore,” I growl. “Brad isn’t stupid enough to fuck with a pakhan ’s wife. He knows what I am. What I can do to him.”

“I don’t know,” she sighs. “He’s been pretty bold regardless.”

“He thought I wouldn’t care.” I tip up her chin, hooking her gaze. “After the wedding, he’ll know I do. And once I adopt Eli, he won’t have a say in your life anymore. Either of your lives.”

Mia’s eyes widen. “ Adopt ?!”

“Of course.” The picture she sent me last night pops up in my head. I remember Eli’s face, all gap-toothed and joyful, his tiny hands clutching the Garfield plushie. “That is, unless?—”

“I want it,” she says. “I— yes. I mean, I’ll have to talk to him—about the wedding and all this—but I don’t think he’ll have a problem with it.” Her expression turns anxious. “God, I hope he doesn’t have a problem with it. His therapist said I shouldn’t make sudden changes to his life. What if?—?”

“We’ll figure it out,” I reassure her. “We can break it to him gently later. He doesn’t have to be involved from the get-go, if you think it won’t be good for him.”

I don’t tell her we don’t need to get married right away. Because, as a matter of fact, we do.

Mia purses her lips, deep in thought. “I don’t want to lie to him,” she whispers. “But I don’t want to lose this, either.” She squeezes my hand tightly.

I return the gesture and kiss the top of her head. “You won’t.”

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” she says. “I promise.”

I nod. “Want me to be there?”

“Maybe not right away.” She gives me an apologetic smile. “Better let Mommy handle this one.”

“Keep saying it like that, and you’re not getting out of this tub.”

She laughs. “God, you have such a dirty mind.”

“Are you saying you don’t like it?”

“Not at all,” she croons, rolling over in the water to face me. “Just wonder what it’s gonna mean for our wedding night.”

I hook my palms behind her thighs and pull her on top of me. “I can show you right now, if you’d like.”

Her eyes go dark. “You’ll be the death of me, Mr. Lozhkin.”

Not if I can help it.

“That’ll teach you to tow the wrong car.”

“You are never going to let it go, are you?”

“No.” I wrap my arms around her waist. She’s so close now—closer than I deserve. “You never finished your story.”

“Huh?”

“About your dad.”

“Oh, right.” She straightens up. “Turns out, it was a heart attack. Caught it early enough, though. He had a stent put in, some bed rest, an outrageous medical bill—but lived.”

“And that’s why you decided to become a nurse instead of a linguist.”

“Doctor,” she corrects. “I wanted to become a doctor. But then…”

“Brad.”

“Yeah.” She shrugs. “Turns out, lots of stuff in my life can be summarized by those three words. ‘But then, Brad.’ ”

“We’ll deliver your family’s invites personally, if you like,” I murmur. “I’d love to meet them.”

Her smile turns sad. “I would have loved to meet your family, too.”

My chest clenches. “I know. They’d have loved you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Alina especially. She used to play nurse with her dolls all the time.”

“Really?”

“Really. Had me patch up half a dozen teddy bears.”

Mia cups my face. “I love you, too, you know.”

“Because of my sister’s teddy bears?”

“No,” she laughs. “Because of you. I hadn’t said it back yet.”

She rolls her hips once, twice. Soon, we’re kissing again, out of breath and out of our minds. Soon, I’m sliding into her again.

“Three days from now,” I murmur as I fuck up into her, “there’s a swearing-in ceremony. New recruits. I want you to be there. To announce our engagement.”

She moans, head thrown back, hanging on for dear life. “Isn’t that—soon? I mean— mhh ? — !”

“I don’t want to wait,” I whisper. “Not one second longer than I have to. All you have to do is say yes.”

She’s riding me now, chasing the high of her pleasure. “Yes,” she gasps. “Yes, yes, yes ?—”

Three days from now, it’ll be out in the world. We’ll have a date, a place, a claim staked for all of New York to see.

After that, Mia will be safe.

And mine.