Page 17 of Who’s Playing You (In The Nick of Time #1)
NICK SOBA
S cottie and I had had the literal best morning getting acquainted before we spent the rest of the day making art. I had thought I’d probably have to fake my way through the whole art part of everything, but with her at my side, it was actually… amazing.
Who knew that I’d enjoy drawing and painting? Certainly not me.
Wait til I told my mother about this. Just one more thing for my mom to be proud of. Baby boy was talented in more ways than one, turns out. A regular old Picasso.
I had tried to take Scottie to dinner after we packed everything up and hiked back to the cars. After we loaded her car up, it was almost six o’clock and I was fucking starving. Besides the couple of snacks she’d brought, she hadn’t eaten anything.
Which concerned me greatly.
What concerned me the most was that it didn’t seem to bother her, like this was a normal thing for her.
Well, that shit was about to change, and right quick. My girl wasn’t going to be doing something harmful to her body like skipping meals. That was ridiculous. Just because she hadn’t had anyone up until this point to take care of her, it didn’t make it an excuse going forward.
So once I closed her trunk, I had started in on taking her to dinner. I had to rein myself in because I desperately wanted to invite her back to my house, where I could cook for her. But I knew I had to wait for at least another outing or two before I pulled that.
So when I suggested a restaurant or two in town, she kind of looked away and chewed her lip. She didn’t immediately say no, but she also didn’t say yes.
I realized that she needed to get to know me a little more and admittedly, dinner was very intimate. So I had pivoted.
I had suggested we go to Vassar the next day, if she were free to do so of course. Her face had lit up when I suggested it and that calmed my nerves.
So here I was the next morning, after that beautiful and life-altering day that she and I had spent up on that mountainside painting - and I was about to see her again.
I was going to make sure that I’d spend the entire day with her, so I not-so-subtly suggested that I’d pick her up this morning and we’d make a day of it. Once she was in my car, she was literally mine.
Well, I didn’t fully tell her we’d make a day of it. But after I got home last night, I dissected every square inch of the Vassar campus as well as their little museum. I then expanded my research to all of Poughkeepsie.
Believe you me, I had plenty for us to do for a whole day.
I was standing in my bathroom, looking in the mirror while fixing my hair, moments away from leaving to go pick Scottie up when my phone began to vibrate with incoming texts on the vanity.
When I got home last night, I’d turned my phone back on, but I’d ignored every incoming message and turned the phone to “Do Not Disturb” for the night. I knew it pissed Loving off when I put that DND on and that he’d be chomping at the bit to get a hold of me.
When I glanced down at the screen, speak of the devil.
Trickie Nickies
The Love Machine:
Bob? Yo, Bob?
What the fuck was he up to now. I couldn’t wait and watch this unfold.
The Love Machine:
Come on, Bob, where are you?
The Holy One:
Paging Dr. Ross, Dr. Ross to the text thread. STAT.
The Love Machine:
Bob, blink twice if you need help.
I couldn’t help it any more.
Ok, I bite. Who’s Bob? What are you two dickwads up to?
The Love Machine:
Oh hey, Bob! How’s it going?
The Holy One:
Love-bug, I’m so proud of you for sticking with it to get Bob’s attention. Just like the OG Bob used to say, “The secret to doing anything is believing that you can do it” and you believed that he’d eventually answer us.
The Love Machine:
Right, right. Also, “there are no mistakes, only happy little accidents”, something you’d know all about, Mr. Angel. But I digress. Back to Bob. So what’s new, Bob?
Ok, again, I bite. Why am I Bob?
The Love Machine:
Because you’re Bob motherfucking Ross to me after how you left us hanging after that last text, you idiot! All, Mr. Painting in the Woods, or some shit. As a result you will forever be Bob to me unless you start answering some questions!
I was with my future wife.
The Holy One:
Excuse the fuck out of me! Come again?!
The Love Machine:
Ummm…. What?
The Holy One:
The Love Machine:
So like… WHAT?
I didn’t stutter. I was with the future Mrs. Soba. You guys will love her… well actually, come to think of it, maybe you guys don’t need to meet her. EVER. You’d just hit on her anyway. I can’t have that.
The Love Machine:
Ok so when I started this text and was literally demanding answers about your little painting in the woods BS comment, never in a million years did I expect you to get all serious and fucking MARITAL on me!
!!! Like… wtf? Are you for real right now?
Because if you’re pulling my leg, well done. You win. Best “gotcha” ever! Epic.
Her name is Scottie.
The Holy One:
Well fuck me sideways … by Loving’s sister.
The Love Machine:
I HAVE WARNED YOU ABOUT TALKING ABOUT MY SISTER. I WILL LITERALLY END YOU!
The Holy One:
Geez! So murdery! But also, Diva… and Mrs. Diva? Question mark?
Yup. She’ll be moving in with me in a few weeks.
The Love Machine:
Whoa whoa whoa!!!! Calm down, Bob Ross. MOVING FUCKING IN WITH YOU??? Is this a cult situation? A Stockholm Syndrome situation? Seriously, blink twice if you are being held against your will. I will fly up right now, do you need help?!?
I’ve never been happier. She doesn’t know it yet, but yeah, she’ll be moving in ASAP. It’ll probably take me a few weeks to convince her.
The Holy One:
Convince HER???? You are the one convincing HER???
The Love Machine:
What Twilight Zone have we entered into? What the fuck are you talking about???
And I’ll try to nail her down right away, put a ring on that finger, knock her up.
The Love Machine:
Have you lost your EVER-LOVING-MIND??? You are 23, in your prime, what the fuck are you talking about nailing down some chick and knocking her up?
YOU JUST MET HER! Dude, that is literally crazy talk!
Have you been drinking that upstate NY moonshine or something?
Smoking that now-legal-in-New-York Mary-Juana? ??
The Holy One:
I’m so confused right now…
Get used to it boys. I’m a taken man. Oh, and this stays between us. The media doesn’t need to get wind of this and start stalking her. Scottie doesn’t know who I am. But I gotta bounce. Catch you assholes later.
The Love Machine:
DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE THIS CONVERSATION OR I SWEAR I WILL COME UP THERE AND KNOCK YOUR ASS INTO THE GROUND. What the FUCK are you talking about???? You just literally dropped …. like four atom bombs on us, and now you’re just leaving?????? HELLO???
Yeah, I gotta go pick Scottie up for a date… well, she doesn’t know it’s a date.
The Holy One:
I have too many questions, but what the hell do you mean she doesn’t know it’s a date? Bro, you’re scaring me! Are you the one Stockholm Syndroming HER?
Don’t worry about it. It’s all going according to plan.
The Love Machine:
According to PLAN??? Wait, whoa whoa whoa!
That indicates something larger… like you’ve been PLANNING something for a while.
And you said you were going to tie this chick down…
did YOU kidnap HER? Omg Papas, he’s going to prison for kidnapping.
Start collecting your quarters, we’ll need to get him a good attorney.
He’s gone all pre-meditated on us. This is more serious than I ever could have imagined.
See, this is the type of shit that happens when we’re not together, when we don’t have each other’s backs.
The Holy One:
Oh for fuck’s sake, he just made us accomplices too - now we know too much!
Her name is Scottie, not “some chick”.
And so what if I have been planning this for a while? Also, I’m not the mob, idiot. I’ll only put a hit on you if you tell anyone about her.
The Holy One:
Oh boy.
The Love Machine:
FOR A WHILE????
The Love Machine:
I’m calling an emergency FaceTime intervention meeting. It is MANDATORY! Tonight. No excuses.
Fine. Whatever. But I’m bouncing right now and I won’t be back until late. Don’t wait up. Adios assholes.
The Holy One:
Well…. Shit.