Page 75 of Who's Loving You

It’s broad daylight out, but I still find myself alone in this small alley. Slipping in under the cover of darkness makes one much braver. I’m feeling a bit cowardly at the moment, but I remind myself that I’ll never walk down this corridor again.

The club is quiet in the late afternoon. Mostly just people setting up for evening when gluttony comes out to play. When the men and women in the high rises loosen their ties and unzip their skirts.

I look around, spotting a couple people at the bar and some ladies tending to them. From a door behind the bar steps Sonja. She emerges with a smile, dressed all in black, and begins speaking to one of the ladies. She’s caught up in conversation when she spots me. The smile turns wicked and I push away images I no longer want to remember.

Her hands glide along the black bar top lit by red lights, and struts towards me on her heels. Her legs step one in front of the other like she walks a runway, all of the finesse of a model.

“Nico. What a surprise to see you at this hour. There’s only a couple of ladies here, but I’m sure I can call others if you’re willing to stick around for a bit.” Her nails scrape up and down my arm and for the first time, I feel bile rise up in my throat.

I don’t understand the feeling because this has never happened before. But the look on her face seems like more than just seduction. It hides something behind it and I don’t think I want to find out.

“No. Actually I, uh…” I reach into my pocket and hold the key in my hand. “I came to hand in this and tell you this is the last time you’ll be seeing me.”

Her lips turn tight and I see the way her teeth gnash. “And why is that?” She stares at the key in my hand but does not move to grab it.

“Well, to be honest, I started seeing someone and it just feels wrong to be coming here. I want to be with this woman, more than anything, but somehow this feels like I’m cheating on her and I don’t like how that settles in my gut.”

She wraps her fingers around my hand, closing it and holding it tight, the key digging into my palm. The other hand rests on my cheek as her gaze burns mine.

“Oh baby. You don’t want that. You have stars in your eyes, but those will dim. Especially when you find out she can’t give you what you need.” Both hands begin clawing at my scalp and I have to close my eyes, too weak to pull away. “I know you liked what we gave you. The three of us, fulfilling all of your trapped fantasies. Desires you didn’t even know were bubbling under the surface.”

Her lips press against my neck, and her tongue licks my chilled flesh. She slides her hand under my shirt and dances her fingers over my stomach. I tense and tell myself she lies. I didn’t want those things before and I won’t need them after walking out of here.

“Sonja. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your club bu–”

“No buts,” she hisses in my ear. “Why don’t we go back to a room so I can remind you just how much you belong to me–here. Belong here.”

Her lips work across my jaw to mine, tempting them to let her in. For a moment it works when I return her kiss, slow and sinful, and grip her plump ass in my fingers. But then, behind my eyes, I see Valentina’s face with the sun shining down on her as we laid on the beach. Her eyes literally sparkled under the bright rays, and I’d never seen her look so carefree.

My chest tightens and that feeling that I might vomit washes over me again. I grab her arms and pry her off of me. When her eyes narrow and blacken, the red lights reflecting in them, I see the real woman behind the mask.

“I can’t. Here.” I take her hand in mine and this time, place the key inherpalm and roll it closed. “Good bye Sonja, and good luck to you.”

My legs move quickly to get me as far away from Lascivious as they can. The pounding of my heart can be heard over the roar of the engine, and sweat beads down my neck. I slam my fist against the steering wheel, already feeling the weight of what I did.

I was careless. All of this time that I’ve been “cleaning up my act”, has been nothing more than a heaping bowl of shit. A bowl I ate from, convincing myself that it was okay. How much longer would I havelet that key sit in my pocket, tempting me to return just one more time?

I look at my wrist where the thin red bracelet sits, and rip off with my bare hand. The cotton thread pinches my skin until it finally breaks free. I roll down the window, toss the remnants out, and drive away from here, never looking back.

26

VALENTINA

Pain in my ass: Are we sleeping at your place or mine tonight? I need to know if I need to pack my pj’s and chips.

Me: It’s a game night. We’ll be sleeping but not together. Don’t you guys have to stay in a hotel? I thought Waggers likes you all together.

Pain in my ass: He’s not making us this week. He put us on a curfew. So what’ll it be? Fuzzy teddy bear onesie, or silky black boxers?

Me: You do not own either one of those.

Pain in my ass: >

Me: Of course you would. What was I thinking? A sleepover isn’t agood idea.

Pain in my ass: Why? Don’t you miss me? It’s been days since you drooled on my chest.

Me: You asshole! I do not drool.