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I hadn’t read all of Eve’s journal entries the day I found them, only the most recent ones about Victor and her trip to Twilight Oaks.

After some time, I was able to read a few more and my heart ached for her.

There was an entry that nearly broke me down and one I would probably never forgive myself for.

That night when I caught Cole and Eve, I hadn’t realized that she’d been triggered.

I mean, she’d still gone through with it, but something Cole did had put her in a frozen state.

I’d been around Eve long enough to know that when she froze, she didn’t care what happened to her.

She just went with the flow, let things carry out, gave an empty stare like she wanted to be as far away from her body as possible.

She often waited for the worst to pass, then smiled the next day like nothing happened.

That fear I saw in Eve’s eyes that night wasn’t only because she’d been caught red-handed.

It was because she’d lost control of her own mind.

I couldn’t fully blame her for what happened.

I left that night. Blocked Eve’s number.

Blocked Cole’s too, before I had to unblock his to settle a minor dispute with the divorce.

It pains me because I never gave Eve the chance to defend herself. I just flat out ignored her. Neglected her. Wrote her off. She tried coming to my job. To my dad’s. She tried calling me from Zoey’s phone a few times but when I heard her voice I instantly hung up.

I may not have wanted to forgive her in that moment, but I would have eventually. That didn’t mean she’d be my best friend again or that we would be close. No, that never would’ve happened. But at least I’d have had the peace of mind to understand and let go of my bitterness.

I sat with that guilt as I stood in front of her grave, staring down at her tombstone.

It’d taken a full month to get her body.

Her funeral was a week ago. Now she’d been put to rest six feet under.

This was surreal in the worst way. The friend who’d felt like a sister to me, now dead.

Her life cut short at thirty-two years old.

When you think about it, that isn’t very many years.

She still had a chance to grow, to better herself, to take control of her life.

“Rose?”

I lifted my head when Zoey called me. She smiled as she held a bouquet of purple and pink flowers in one hand, Eve’s favorite colors. Daddy and Diana were walking in our direction too.

We made a promise to ourselves to visit her and Mom’s grave every week and to not take these moments or our lives for granted anymore.

“You okay?” Zoey asked.

I smiled at her.

Zoey would always know Eve was a good person and that she loved her.

I made sure to delete all the journal entries and then the app so Zoey would never find it.

Of course, all of it was still on the laptop Eve had in Sage Hill, and some bigger truths would leak when it came to the trials for Victor, Alex, and James, but that laptop was still in evidence.

And when the trial came, I’d deal with those truths in that moment.

Zoey deserved to remember the best of her sister.

I smiled. “I’m okay, Zo.”

She hooked an arm through mine. Tears accumulated in her eyes, but she blinked them away, allowing a smile to take their place. When Daddy and Diana met beside us, we stared at Eve’s tombstone for a while. No one said a word. Honestly, there weren’t any words powerful enough to say.

Despite Eve’s mistakes and her past, she was family, and we loved her.

It would always feel like something was missing now that she was gone, just like it felt with Mom.

A gentle breeze caressed my skin, and I closed my eyes, thinking about my friend.

Our childhood. Our laughs. Our fights. Our goofy moments.

Our sleepovers. Our pinky promises. Our late-night Oreos and milk.

Movie nights with wine. Hugs and tears. Whispered secrets and promises.

I was going to miss her. But I was also going to make sure that I lived the rest of my life like she did.

Carefree.

Unapologetically.

Because no matter how wild Eve was, she only wanted to love and be loved. The least I could do was continue carrying her love with me.