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A s soon as I made it to my apartment, I collapsed on the bed and buried my face in the comforter.

For a few seconds, I couldn’t breathe. I was okay with letting the breath dwell in my lungs.

It gave me a chance to listen to my thudding heart, to feel my face being covered, and for the darkness to consume me.

Gave me a chance to remember I was still alive .

When I couldn’t stand another second of not breathing, I flipped onto my back and stared at the ceiling fan, gasping.

Jayson had followed me home, making sure that I arrived at my apartment safely before returning to his bar.

Now, I was all alone with racing thoughts.

I showered, changed clothes, then went for my laptop.

It was hard not to glance at Eve’s purse on the dining table.

A memory struck me. We’d gone to the Michael Kors store in the outlet mall. She couldn’t decide between beige or black for her new purse. She’d gotten a huge check from some deal with a yoga company and wanted to splurge.

“I always get black stuff,” she’d griped, putting the darker purse back. “I think it’s time to lighten it up. And here, I’ll get you one too.”

My eyes shifted left to the other Michael Kors purse hanging on the coat rack with the tags still attached. I have yet to use it . . . and probably never will after what happened between her and Cole. I didn’t need the reminder. I figured I could give it to Zoey or Diana instead.

Thinking of my sister and Eve’s made me want to talk to them. Be around people I loved and trusted. I abandoned the laptop to go to my bedroom and slip into an olive-green hoodie and white sneakers. I collected my purse as well as Eve’s, my keys, and was in my car again before I knew it.