Page 25 of Whisper Pretty Lies (Lust & Liars #1)

What happens if I tell him and he goes after Hawk at school? Any physical altercations on school property could end in suspension or expulsion for them, and it would be my fault.

Chase pulls his truck up in front of my house and honks twice. I grab my backpack and head out. He unlocks the doors as I approach, and I climb in. Turning, I take in the house that’s been my safe haven. One last look at the closest thing to home I’ve found.

My heart aches. It feels like the end of something good. But maybe this is the beginning of something good for my mom.

“Morning, babe.” Chase grins like nothing’s changed since I saw him yesterday at school. My stomach ties in knots.

I should come clean.

“Thank you for picking me up,” I say.

“I wish I’d known about your tire last night. I would have given you a ride home.” Chase runs a hand through his hair and gives me a smile that says the world is his for the taking.

“It’s okay.” I put on my seatbelt and cross my legs.

I don’t even know what to say about last night.

Do I tell him I cheated on him? I kissed Hawk back.

Granted, he kissed me first. But after he stormed out last night, I lay in bed replaying every moment on a continuous loop.

Until I’d worked myself up so much I gave in to the temptation to get off.

“Did you get the cast you wanted?” Chase asks, glancing my way.

“I won’t know until Mr. Watson emails me.”

Chase pulls up to a stop sign and turns to me with a devious smile. “You could tell me if you cast me.”

I shake my head. “I’m not allowed. You have to find out with everyone else.”

“My little rule follower.” He smiles. “Fine, I’ll wait. I have time to grab dinner after school before the bus leaves for the game.” Chase starts driving again.

The roar of a motorcycle has me turning back, but I don’t see anything.

“Did you hear me, EvanAnn?” Chase glances my way.

“Yeah,” I say, kind of disappointed Hawk didn’t show up to take me to school. He didn’t offer. Not that I want to ride to school on the back of his motorcycle. That would have been a disaster.

Showing up with him after casting him in my play?

“Dinner tonight? Yeah? We haven’t seen much of each other this week.” Chase turns down the next street.

“Yeah, we can do dinner.” Maybe then I can tell him about my secret kiss. My gut twists. I shouldn’t have kissed Hawk back. It was almost instinctual. It was epic, but it was still wrong.

Will Chase dump me? Do I want him to dump me? I still like Chase, and Hawk isn’t offering to date me. He’s not even asking me out on a date. I don’t want to be just another notch for him.

If Chase does break up with me because I kissed Hawk, how will that work for the play?

I didn’t get any texts from Mr. Watson last night, but he’ll email this morning and then post the list around noon for everyone else.

There must not have been any conflicts between my list and Brandt’s, but that doesn’t mean I got my first picks.

I texted my mom last night about my flat tire. She said she’d take care of it.

I haven’t seen her since Monday night. Hopefully I’ll see her more once I move into her boyfriend’s house. I glance at Chase. He has the music up, so we really can’t talk unless I shout. Should I tell him about my mom and me moving in with her boyfriend?

If Damon didn’t live there, would I still be hesitating to tell Chase? I glance down at my hands in my lap. I don’t feel like a good person right now. Maybe I should get it over with.

If I tell him and he breaks up with me, what will I have left? Can I go back to being alone? Will Mia even stay my friend? As long as I have Chase, I seem more interesting. Without him, I might have nothing.

He pulls into the parking lot and the space where my car was is empty. Guess Mom had it towed?

“Meet me here and we’ll go out tonight.” Chase smiles as he turns off the truck. “I’ve missed seeing you this week.”

He leans across the console. He’s going to kiss me. Nerves flutter in my stomach, but I lean in and touch my lips to his. I can’t lose him right now. I feel nothing except nervous energy. Nothing like the tsunami of Hawk’s kiss.

“Mmm.” Chase leans back with a smile. “We’re going to the party Saturday night, right?”

“Is it okay if Mia comes with us?”

Chase rolls his eyes. “Are you serious about being her friend?”

I nod because yes, I want a friend my senior year. Maybe I want it all in my senior year. A friend. A boyfriend. A guy who secretly wants me. My cheeks heat.

“Fine. We’ll go to the hockey scrimmage on Saturday, have dinner, then go to the party. All with Mia, if it pleases you.”

I smile and lean in to kiss him quickly. “Thank you.”

We get out of his truck and walk toward the school. Hawk, Damon, and Cam pull their bikes into their spots. I can feel them watching me as Chase takes my hand. I want to shake him off, but what would that look like? I drag in a breath. No, I’m with him.

He’s my boyfriend. I’m his girlfriend. We’re together.

I try to ignore them. And I manage to do that in the early morning hallways and in first period with Mia.

My message from Mr. Watson comes through, and I got my first choice in my leads.

A couple of the extras went to Brandt’s production, so I got my second choices for those roles, but overall, I’m very happy with my cast.

“Are you going to tell me what that smile is for?” Mia asks, leaning on her desk toward me.

“I got my dream cast for Othello .” I’m practically bouncing I’m so excited.

But then I remember last night and that kiss.

It can’t happen again, and if I want to make sure my play goes off without a hitch, I can’t tell Chase about it.

He has to play off Hawk in a lot of scenes, and whatever grudge they have might already affect that.

If Chase knows Hawk kissed me, what would he do? I can’t lose one of the only two people in this school who care about me.

“Hey.” Mia touches my arm, bringing me back to class. “You were happy and then you got this far-off look. Everything okay?”

I glance at the front of the class where the teacher is going on about something I should probably pay attention to, but I really want to talk to someone about everything that’s happened. Mia is so new to me. If I hadn’t been burnt by other girls, maybe I could trust her more.

She’s not those girls, but I also don’t know her very well yet.

“Maybe we can talk Sunday?” That seems like a good amount of time to get to know her. I’ll be spending most of Saturday with Mia at the game and the party. I should know her well enough to determine her character by then.

Right?

Mia smiles. “My brother heads home then, so yeah, we can go out shopping or grab a coffee or something. It might be cool to hang out in something other than schoolgirl chic for once.”

The teacher pulls our attention back to the board. My pulse quickens because I’ll see Hawk in my next class. I don’t know what to say or how to act around him. It’s not every day I have to turn someone down.

It’s never happened before. Not until I pushed him away last night. It can’t happen again.

And I’ll also have to face Damon. He glares at me like everything is my fault. Like my mother consulted with me about moving in with his dad. Like we plotted together to get into his house. Like whatever Chase did has anything to do with me. Next he’ll be mad at me because Mia wants to bone him.

It would make the same amount of sense.

The bell rings and we head to our next class. Dread makes my steps heavy. Will it be all over my face when Chase sees me with Hawk? Will he believe I didn’t lead Hawk on? I sat with Hawk for lunch and I enjoyed our talk.

Hawk called me Annie in front of Chase, and I didn’t correct him. I didn’t shrug off his arm when he put it on my shoulders. What if this is all my fault? What if, by not discouraging him, I encouraged him? Maybe I should have discouraged him from the beginning.

I take my seat and brace myself for the inevitable.

Damon is the first of the trio to walk in. At least he doesn’t usually engage with me, preferring to let the others do their thing. At this point, I’ll take his glares. It’s easy to ignore him when he glares at me.

He sits and leans back in his chair. When I turn, he’s giving me a contemplative look. My cheeks heat. Did Cam tell him about coming to my house? Or did Hawk? Maybe both of them.

Hawk walks between us, breaking our stare-down. I glance up at his face, trying to get a read on him. After all, we’re about to spend the next few months working on a play together.

He takes his seat and pulls out his phone, ignoring me.

Oh.

Somehow that hurts worse than anything else he could have done. I turn forward in my desk and try to control my racing heart. Obviously, it was just another night for him. Just another kiss. I doubt I even register on his scale of kisses.

What if I’d told Chase and he broke up with me over a kiss that meant absolutely nothing?

Cam sits in the chair in front of me. “What’s wrong, goody two-shoes?”

I meet his dark eyes and see the concern in them.

I want to laugh, because when did this become my life?

Last year at this time, I had a few acquaintances I would talk to occasionally at lunch or in class, but nothing outside of that.

I didn’t have any sort of romantic interest or whatever the fuck is going on with these guys.

Studying and directing were my life. I lost myself in the theater.

It was easy, and I didn’t have to worry about feeling left out.

My mom spent her evenings with me after breaking up with her most recent boyfriend.

But otherwise, I kept my head down and did what I needed to do to get into a great college and win a scholarship.

I open my mouth, but honestly, I don’t know what to say to any of these guys. I shouldn’t be talking to them at all, because they shouldn’t know I exist. Instead, I shake my head.

Cam’s brow furrows like he’s going to poke more, but thankfully, the bell rings.

I need to go back to basics. Keep my head down and focus on school.