Page 19 of While She Sleeps (The Hunter and The Thief #1)
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
EMBER
T he faint scent of whiskey and vanilla lingers in my apartment as I drag myself out of bed, further proving my theory that I’m losing my mind. That’s the only explanation for thinking I smell Orion every time I wake up.
Maybe it’s my subconscious telling me I made a mistake by ending our sessions.
As weird as it sounds, I miss him. I really fucking miss him. More than I should, seeing as I still haven’t Googled the man.
I glance down at the cuts at the top of my thigh and press my eyes closed with shame. I should be stronger than this. I need to be stronger.
My phone breaks me out of my thoughts, and I quickly cross to it. Lucas is still being an asshole about me losing him money, but every day I give him an update about where I am on the Hunter case, and he seems placated.
He’s more desperate for answers on the nameless, faceless drug distributor than he is to make money, which is very out of character for him.
Lucas: I need you at the club tonight.
Ember: Why?
Lucas: Orion wants to see you. He’s an important client, and he’s offering double what he did before.
Ember: Double?! Why the fuck would he do that?
Lucas: He’s taken a liking to you, clearly. Whatever you’re doing, keep it up and you’ll repay your debt in no time.
My thumbs dance over the screen as I consider my options. I’ve told him multiple times that we hadn’t so much as touched before the night I had my breakdown, but he doesn’t believe me.
He doesn’t believe that anyone, let alone Orion Henderson, mysterious entrepreneur and serial bachelor, would pay so much to sit in a dark room and talk.
Ember: What time?
Lucas: Eight. Wear something slutty.
I roll my eyes. It’s likely not even for Orion’s benefit that I wear something revealing, but rather for him. Lucas looks at me with a little too much heat for my own liking.
Lucas: I want an update about your project asap.
Ember: Sure thing. Following up on another lead today.
I don’t bother waiting for his response, instead dropping my phone on the table and moving to the coffee machine.
If I’m going to make it through today, I really need some caffeine.
D ead end after dead end has left me drained and exhausted, but I don’t have time to rest. I barely have enough time to stop by my apartment and get changed.
By the time I reach The Velvet Room, kitted out in a tiny faux leather miniskirt and a black halter crop top, I’m pretty much dead on my boot-clad feet. At least I can walk in these, unlike the heels I wore the first night I met Orion.
I stop by the break room and shove my bag into an empty locker before checking my choppy brown bob.
I’ve always had long hair, but after Travis died, I couldn’t deal with it.
It took too much effort to wash it, to brush it, to just care for it in general, and when I told the hairdresser to cut it all off, she looked more than a little uncertain.
My dark hair was almost at the top of my ass, but cutting it off was freeing, and I have to admit, I’ve felt more myself ever since.
The makeup I haphazardly applied on my way out the door is darker than usual, but I don’t mind it with this outfit. I look edgy and kind of badass.
“You’ve got this,” I murmur to myself, but anxiety eats away at me. It doesn’t make sense that Orion would pay so much to see me, and if he thinks he’s getting laid, he’s going to be sorely fucking mistaken.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I make my way down the hall, my shoulders back and head held high as I pause at the door to the private room.
I push the door open, and I’m met with familiar darkness, causing my heart to beat harder in my chest as I remember the last time we were in here. How he held me. The soft words of reassurance. How his fingers brushed through my hair in a way that was foreign but oh so comforting.
Travis and I never really had parents. Well, none that cared about us.
Our mother surrendered us to the state after our father left her high and dry for another woman, and neither of them ever looked back.
I was only five at the time, but I don’t think either of them was particularly warm, and while Travis always did his best, he wasn’t what I would call comforting either.
The door clicks shut softly, and I take a step toward the chair I usually sit in during the sessions when his deep voice fills the space.
“No,” he rumbles, forcing me to pause in place. “Come sit with me.”
My breath stutters in my chest, but I don’t allow myself to hesitate. There’s no point delaying the inevitable when we both know I’m going to do exactly as he says.
Before my eyes can adjust and pinpoint Orion’s form in the corner of the room, his hands grip my hips and tug me onto his lap, leaving little room for arguments.
He buries his face into my neck, and if I’m not mistaken, he sucks in a deep breath of me.
“I missed you, Little Flame,” he murmurs against my skin, and I melt into his warm embrace.
Perhaps I should be weirded out by this entire interaction, especially because I don’t even know what he looks like, but I’m not. There’s something so safe about being in his arms, and if I’m honest with myself, I missed him a little too.
Okay, maybe it was more than a little.
Those nights in the dark, where I could just relax and allow some of my strength to waver, have given me the ability to get through some of the darker times over the last month.
“We’re not supposed to be doing this anymore,” I remind him.
He chuckles. “Certainly not by my choice.” He tugs me harder against him, and I allow him to position me however he chooses.
There’s something inherently comforting about giving someone else control, especially when you’ve been making the decisions alone for so long. “I was worried about you,” he admits.
“About me?” I ask incredulously.
He nods, and his stubble moves across my cheek. “The way you ran out of here last week after being so distraught.” He pauses as his body tenses beneath me. “If I thought you wouldn’t call the cops on me, I probably would have followed you home. Or at the very least, hired you some security.”
It’s my turn to laugh, because the idea of this rich, powerful man doing either of those things is preposterous, but then I realize he’s not laughing, nor was there any hint of a joke in his tone.
“That would have been unnecessary,” I murmur.
“I find nothing is unnecessary when it comes to keeping the things I care about safe.”
My heart stutters in my chest, but I can’t allow myself to believe his words. I can’t allow myself to feel anything for anyone right now, and maybe ever.
Not now that I know how much it hurts to lose everything.
His hands are firm around me, but instead of feeling trapped or panicked, I feel safe. Safer than I’ve ever felt in my life, if I’m really honest with myself.
“Are you feeling better? After last week?” His words cut through the otherwise quiet room.
Faint music drifts beneath the door from the rest of the club, but it feels like a world away.
Orion and I are in our own little bubble in the darkness, and it’s the most at home I’ve felt since my brother died.
I nibble at my lower lip, considering my answer. I could lie. Hell, I should lie. But there’s something about this man that makes me want to tell him the truth.
“Not really,” I whisper. “This year has been…hard. My brother and I were alone all our lives. Our parents surrendered us to foster care when I was so young I don’t even remember them, and then we bounced around in foster care.
We got lucky in some ways, never being split up, but that’s pretty much where our luck began and ended.
When Travis was old enough to protect me on the streets, we ran from our last home, and he did just that.
He protected me. He did everything he could to keep me safe.
” I pause as I desperately try to keep hold of myself.
The last thing I need is to fall apart in the man’s arms…
again. “When our car went off the edge of the road, I lost consciousness. Or at least that’s what the doctors think, because I have no memory of being pulled from the wreckage.
Travis was always saving me, and the one time I could have repaid him, the one time I maybe could have returned the favor, I was so out of it I can’t remember it almost a year later. ”
“Ember, you have to know that’s not your fault. If you hit your head in the accident, you’re not to blame for not being able to save him.” Orion’s words are so full of confidence that I almost believe them. If only I hadn’t spent months convincing myself of the opposite.
I sigh and press my face against his warm chest. My mind is screaming at me not to get too comfortable, not to get used to having someone to comfort me, but my heart longs for it.
For the safety. For the warmth. For the care that he’s showing me.
For the emotion that bursts to life every time he touches me.
“Logically, I know that. But it’s not as simple as just accepting it.
Or at least that’s what my therapist says.
” I half laugh, but there’s no humor in the sound.
“Sounds to me like you need someone to remind you a little more regularly.”