Page 16 of Wherever You Are

I nod, still looking down. Strands of hair stick to my wet eyelashes. I’m afraid they’ll blame her for withholding information. They shouldn’t.

It’s all on me. I’ve been evading the whole truth. Omitted shit. And she’s been here for me so much already.

I choke out, “It’s not her fault…for not telling anyone. She thought it stopped. It did…for a while, but when I went back for Christmas break, they were all there…” I blink back the most recent encounter, spilt soil and a collision into wooden shelves. I shudder and exhale a sharp breath. “Forget it. Forget I said anything.”

Lo’s voice grows even quieter. “Will you stay at my place, at least until Willow comes back?”

My body solidifies. He’s not serious. Does he even know what he’s offering? I’m…me.And Willow isn’t coming back to Philly anytime soon. She just completed herfirstsemester at Wakefield.

“That’syears.”

“So?”

I glance up from my knees. Unblinking. My eyes sting, and Lo stares at me with assured intensity, like he means every word he’s saying.

I don’t think he understands the enormity of his offer. I’m the kid that vandalized his house three years ago. I shouldn’t belivingin his home. But here he is, passing out second and third and fourth chances like they grow endlessly on trees.

But I know Loren Hale better now than I did three years ago. In reality, second chances don’t exist with him. You hurt him and he cuts you off at the knees. Why I’m the exception to that, I don’t know.

Maybe I never will.

I have to think about this logically. Where I go will affect the one person I love most in this world. I think about my girl.

“Willow could break up with me by then,” I remind Lo. After the shit I pulled in London, I’m sure that day is coming.

“You’d still be a part of this family.” He gestures in a circle. “I wouldn’t kick you out because of it.”

I’m bowled over again. It’s harder to breathe, but for a different reason. My eyes burn, and I impulsively shove against his offer. “I have an apartment in Philly.”

“You live alone.” He pauses and then gives me a once-over. “I’m going to be blunt like my brother. You look like shit. You’re a little gaunt, and man, you smell like you’ve been spraying cologne instead of showering.”

“I’ve been busy,” I snap, not wanting that pity. “I have a job, and it’s the only thing that keeps me from…”

“From what?”

I shrug, and then it just pours out of me. “From feeling like a stupid loser. Like I have no purpose, alright?” I hold back tears. “I have something outside ofwaitingfor a girl. I have something…and I need to put time in it. I shouldn’t even behere.I should be working—”

“Hear me out,” Lo cuts me off just as my voice cracks. “I have this little kid who’s a big pain in my ass because he keeps begging for a sibling. Every day I have to hear, ‘but Jane has two brothers’ and if he just saw you in the house, he’d be happy. But most importantly, you’d save my goddamn eardrums.”

I let out a short laugh. “The important things.”

“Damn right.”

I pinch my eyes. “Stopcrying,” I mutter under my breath.Why can’t I stop?

“I get it.”

“Do you?” I snap.

“Your brothers call you a pussy for crying? They tell you you’re not a real man—suck it up, Garrison.What are you, a little pussy, a little girl?What kind of goddamn man are you?”

My mouth falls open, shock stinging me. I almost look around for Ryke. There’sno wayRyke could have said that shit to Lo. But I can’t locate Lo’s older brother because the cabinets block my view from the living room.

Lo follows my gaze, and he must register who I’m trying to find. “It wasn’t my brother who told me to juststop fucking crying.” His jaw tightens.

I frown. “Who?”

“My father.”