Page 17 of Where Quiet Hearts Scream (Dark Hearts #3)

S erafina

I stare at my knees until we’re on the freeway. I can’t bear to look at the beautiful surroundings I’ve begun to call home until we’re safely out of the Hamptons.

I still feel sick with humiliation and despair.

The faces of my colleagues are inked on my eyeballs.

Some of them reflected the sadness that is eating my insides.

Some seemed genuinely concerned for my wellbeing.

Angela shoved her contact details into my hand before I climbed into Papa’s car, telling me to call her if I need anything.

One or two stared after me with a curious glint in their eyes.

Those were expressions I’d begun to notice more frequently, and particularly since my sister became engaged to Cristiano.

Most people are curious about the Mafia in general, but especially the notorious family that has ruled the streets of New York for decades.

A year ago, the thought of being even remotely connected to them was laughable.

But now that my sister has married us all into the heart of the Di Santo’s, the cold, harsh reality is that there is no escape.

The sun is starting to peek over the horizon as we drive away from the hotel. Because I needed to pack up my belongings, we were the last to leave. And because of the events of the night, a few staff members hadn’t left the premises so were still around for my final farewell.

Trilby and Cristiano departed to the nearby home of an associate for their wedding night, while Cristiano’s caporegimes, including Benito, drove back to the Di Santo residence.

No one wanted to stay at the hotel after so many had lost their lives.

Fifteen men and two women. The true horror of that has yet to sink in.

I’m sitting in the back of Papa’s car, sandwiched between Tess and Bambi, presumably in case I try to throw myself onto the asphalt while traveling at seventy miles per hour.

Tess took my hand as soon as I sat down but my senses are numb so I don’t register the feel of her fingers.

Bambi keeps turning toward me, her expression one of confusion mixed with sympathy and a little bit of terror.

And every few minutes, Allegra looks over her shoulder from the front passenger seat and shoots a worried, sympathetic glance in my direction.

Papa’s jaw hasn’t unclenched since we left .

It’s the early hours of the morning when we arrive back at home. Papa and Bambi unload the bags from the trunk while Allegra and Tess chaperone me into the house as if I might bolt at any second.

The thing is, you need energy to run, and mine has been spent on crying every last tear.

“You should try and get some sleep,” Allegra says, tipping her chin toward the stairs. Then she turns to Tess. “You too. I’ll wake you in a few hours.”

I doubt I’ll be able to sleep, but I’m exhausted, so I follow Tess up the stairs. Our rooms are next to each other but I haven’t stepped foot in mine for almost a year. I stand outside it, staring at the closed door.

“It must be weird being back here, huh?” Tess says, letting the door to her room swing open.

I nod but I’m not really listening.

I can’t go inside.

It’s like there’s an invisible energy field where the door frame is.

On the one hand it’s trying to pull me in and wrap its familiar arms around me.

On the other, a voice in my head is screaming at me not to turn the handle.

I’ve come so far. I was beginning to heal.

But leaving the Hamptons has thrown everything into disarray.

I’m now faced with everything I fear, everything I’ve tried to run away from, and I’m not prepared for it.

“Tess…” I’m shocked at how my words tremble. “Please can I sleep in your room?”

My younger sister is about to step inside when her head swings around in surprise. “Really? You sure? ”

I nod earnestly. “Yes, I’m sure. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Your room is way bigger than mine. I could sl?—”

“No—” I stop her. “Really. Your room please. I can crash on the floor.”

Her gaze roams me then stops, as if the pain I’m feeling on the inside has surfaced to my outer edges. She wraps her arms around my neck and buries her face in my shoulder.

“Oh Sera. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. Of course you can crash in my room, but you’re not sleeping on the floor.”

She lifts her head and takes my hand in hers. “Come on. You can snuggle in with me.”

When Allegra dutifully summons us to the kitchen for some lunch I can’t touch the food. She’s gone to a lot of effort to create my favorite—panzanella with white wine—but I can’t lift my fork.

“Sera, honey. You must try to eat something,” Allegra pleads. “You are going to need your energy for the coming days.”

I know she’s right, but it isn’t a choice. I simply don’t feel hungry. In fact, the thought of putting anything in my mouth right now makes me feel downright nauseous. I lower my fork to the dish. “I’m sorry Allegra. It does look delicious. I’ll try again later.”

I catch her worried frown before she turns away .

“Sera…” Papa’s resigned tone makes us all turn to face the doorway. He looks like he’s aged a couple of years in the last twenty-four hours. “Can you come into my office?”

I numbly stand and follow him into the room next door. He sits behind his antique walnut desk and gestures for me to take the seat opposite.

I wring my hands together in my lap and wait for Papa to speak. When he doesn’t, I look up. He has his elbows on his desk, his face in his hands. My gaze darts about anxiously. I’ve never seen him this way before.

“Papa?”

He nods and lifts a finger as if he needs a minute, then lowers his hands and faces me with a heavy sigh.

“You need to eat.”

Papa has never been a man of many words but I was expecting more than that.

“I know.”

His brow furrows as I wait for him to give me a little bit more. He’s just promised me to a murderous stranger. I deserve a little bit more.

He shakes his head. “This wasn’t in my plans for you.”

“I didn’t realize you had plans for me, Papa.”

He drops his gaze to his hands, now clenched on the desk. “After Savero… I vowed I would never put any of you girls in this situation again. And I thought that having Cristiano become my son-in-law would protect you against any possibility.”

“So, Cristiano is behind this? ”

“No, no. This wasn’t his idea. It was Andreas’s. But Cristiano is a businessman and he has good instincts. He believes this will be a good match.”

“How? He’s only met me a handful of times and, unless he’s lying too, he only met Andreas for the first time last night .”

“Like I said, he has good instincts and I have to trust him.”

“Why do you? Marrying my sister won’t change his character overnight.”

Papa levels me with a serious look. “Cristiano proved his character to me many months ago, when he killed his own brother to protect my family and my business.”

Unease settles in my chest. “No, Papa. He killed Savero because Savero tried to kill Trilby.”

Papa nods slowly. “That’s true but that’s also not all. At the time, he planned to return to Vegas, but having seen how attractive a proposition our business is to dirty players, he chose to stay, taking the role of don to protect us.”

Words stick in my throat. I had no idea Cristiano had done that for my father and our family business.

I figured he stayed so he could be with Trilby while also taking the coveted role at the helm of the Di Santo family.

That’s also why my feelings toward my sister have become less soft in recent months.

I can’t understand how she’d be okay with a man who’s pursued power above all else, and I’ve allowed the distance to grow between us .

“I just want you to know I’m proud of you for pursuing your dream and taking on the internship. I’m sorry that you won’t get to finish it, but Andreas has assured me he will provide you with everything you need. You won’t ever have to work and you can spend your days however you wish.”

“In isolation?” I ask, wearily. “Or perhaps I could learn the pianoforte and take a few turns about the garden.” I look out of the window. The library next door has the best view, but from here I can still see Mama’s rose bush. It’s not quite in full bloom but it’s striking all the same.

“You’ll have a full security detail—that goes without saying,” Papa says. “But you won’t be isolated. Your sisters can visit, as can I, and Allegra. Your friends from the hotel…”

I swallow back a bitter laugh. I didn’t allow myself to get close to any of my colleagues at the hotel, ironically because I was so hyper-conscious of being used for my connection to the mafia. To add even more irony, Andrew was the only person I fully confided in.

“You have three months to get used to the idea. I’m sure, with time, you will come to terms with the hand you’ve been dealt. You might even begin to see this next part of your journey as a positive thing.”

I roll my lips inward then turn back to face my father. “Is it that everything, Papa?”

His brow creases and a tight sigh is pushed from his nostrils. “Yes, Sera.”

I somehow manage to keep my composure as I rise and walk to the door. Resting my fingers on the cold brass handle, Papa’s words halt me.

“I’m sorry, Sera. I really am.”

I swallow, turn the handle, and I don’t look back.