Page 22 of When the Leaves Fall
DREW
D ad and I arrive at the hospital. Since it’s a Sunday evening, the only way in is through the Emergency Room, which is where Mom is likely to be at this point anyway.
We walk in the door and let the man at the front desk know we’re there for my mom.
He points to a nearby area and lets us know to wait there until someone comes out to talk to us.
Dad can’t handle that. He storms down the hall, mumbling about how ridiculous it is that he can’t go back to her. I sit calmly in one of the most uncomfortable chairs I’ve ever sat in, lean my head back against the wall, and close my eyes.
I’m exhausted. We had an early flight, traveled all day, and now this. I inhale slowly through my nose and exhale through my mouth.
Visions of Mom collapsing flash through my mind. I see it all happen again, but in slow motion. Every little thing that happened that night plays out in front of me, but I’m watching it from afar. And I’m just standing there. I’m not doing anything. Mom is dying, and I’m watching it happen.
“Sandra’s family?” I hear a voice call.
M om’s procedure went well, and she’s back in her CCU room resting.
Even though Luca had finished his shift an hour before Mom went in for the surgery, and had to be absolutely exhausted, he was texting me the entire time to make sure I was doing okay.
He was a great distraction. Dad and Uncle Scott played a game of cards while Luca and I texted. I told Dad it was a work thing.
Dad’s in the room with her, but she isn’t allowed more than one person at a time for a few hours, so she doesn’t get overstimulated. The doctors want to make sure her body has time to recover and heal from placing the pacemaker and defibrillator.
Uncle Scott had to head back home, so it’s just me in the waiting room.
I told Luca to get some sleep. He works again tonight, and I need to get some work done before he’s back here.
He’s too much of a distraction, even when he isn’t trying to be.
I love watching him work. The care in his eyes is mesmerizing. Addicting.
He didn’t ask me about Fall Fest anymore last night.
No pressure, he said. But there’s pressure.
A lot of it. I want to go to Fall Fest with him more than anything, for multiple reasons.
I need an actual night out, for one. But, going on an actual date with Luca, in public.
What does that say about us? About our agreement?
We know this relationship can’t go anywhere.
We’re literally counting down the days until Mom leaves the hospital.
It could be as soon as a week, but most likely no longer than two weeks.
I glance out the family room window. The autumn colors are bright in the sunshine.
Hues of yellow, orange, and red, with a bit of green still in the mix.
This is the perfect weekend to have an event like Fall Fest. The colors are at their peak right now, and soon, the leaves will fall.
My chest falls. And that’s when all this will end.
I close my eyes, inhale, and release my breath slowly.
Knowing this has to end hasn’t changed anything so far.
We’re still connected. Still attached. This’s more than friends with benefits; it always has been.
Hell, I might even be in love with him already.
So, would going on an actual date make much of a difference?
It’s not likely going to make us parting in a couple of weeks any harder.
Damn, I deserve a night out. I deserve a date with a gorgeous man who has been there not only for me, but for my mom and dad, for the past few weeks. I deserve to have others see the way he looks at me, his eyes full of hope and love.
I’ll tell him when he comes in for his shift tonight.
“ W ell,” Mel comes into the waiting room a few hours later. “Your mom is moving today.”
“What?” I exclaim. “Already?”
“She’s doing great and is completely stable. There haven’t been any issues, and a bed opened up. We gotta take advantage before someone else claims it.”
“I see,” I nod. “Ah, when?”
“Within the next hour,” she replies. “We’ve already started the paperwork, and your dad has started to pack up the room. You’re welcome to go in there now.”
“Oh, okay,” I stutter. I grab my things and follow her down the hall to Mom’s room, where Mom is sitting in the wheelchair and my dad is packing a cart up with all of our personal belongings.
“Oh, wow,” I say. “Things are moving quickly.”
“Isn’t it exciting?” Dad chimes. “I mean, she could be discharged within a few days.”
“A few days?” I repeat.
“Maybe,” Mom pipes in. “Depending on how things go.”
I nod and pat Mom’s forearm. “Well, let’s not get our hopes up, just in case.” I shoot Mom a warm smile. “We want to make sure you’re for sure ready to go.”
“Yes, dear,” Mom says with a little pout.
I don’t mean to be the party pooper or bearer of bad news all the time, but it’s been put on me most of my life to be the realistic one. To make sure all the ducks are in a row before anyone gets ahead of themselves.
When people want me to be that person, they love that about me. But when I say something they don’t want to hear or do something they don’t like, then I’m the bad guy. It’s exhausting.
I’m exhausted.
Luca has honestly been my saving grace through all of this. He’s helped me keep my head above the water. I need to text him and let him know Mom is moving sooner than expected, and we won’t be here when he arrives for his shift.
I type out the message, but before I hit send, Dad calls out to me. “Coming, Drew?”
I look up and see they’ve already left the room, the nurse pushing the wheelchair and my dad pushing the cart. “Oh, yeah.” I shove my phone in my pocket and jog lightly across the room to catch up with him.
“What’s going on with you today?” He asks.
“What do you mean?”
“You seem a bit scattered, which isn’t like you.”
“Do I?”
He nods.
“Sorry, I think I’m just tired.”
“Why don’t you stay at the hotel tonight, then?” He suggests.
I guess it doesn’t matter now since I won’t be able to see Luca tonight. We aren’t allowed back in the CCU now that Mom has been moved. And he isn’t going to be able to come visit us during his shift. The CCU is always too intense, and they’ll need his focus there.
“Yeah, I think I will.” I shoot him a smile. “Thanks, Dad.”