Page 12 of When the Leaves Fall

DREW

“ W hat do you mean she’s not breathing?” Lexi cries from the other end of the phone. “Drew, what are you saying?”

“I…I don’t know. She…they are trying to save her.” I manage to say through the fits of tears and rage. “I needed to do something. I’m in their way. But I need to do something.”

I called Lexi, the oldest of Uncle Scott and Aunt GiGi’s kids, because I knew if I didn’t tell someone what was happening at that very moment, I would explode. When she answered the phone, the first words I managed to say between gasping to fill my lungs with air were “Mom’s not breathing.”

“Drew, take a deep breath. You’re giving yourself a panic attack. Breathe in slowly and then out.”

It takes me a few tries, but I do as she says.

“There you go. Aunt Sandy is in the best hands she could be in right now. I’m going to call Sarah, Ryan, and Dad. Everything is going to be okay, Drew,” Lexi tries to reassure me .

“Okay. Thank you. Okay,” I mumble back. “Lexi?”

“Yeah, Drew?”

“I’m scared.”

“Me too, Drew. Me too.”

“ I need to call Dad.” I start patting down my pockets, looking for my phone. Panicking when I don’t find it. “Shit, where is my phone?”

“It’s on the table behind you,” Luca smirks at me.

Oh dear God.

“Ha, yup. There it is,” I laugh at myself. “Thanks.” I shoot Luca a smile before grabbing my phone and heading out into the hall to call Dad.

Doctor Erickson said Mom is making tremendous progress. We still need to be patient, she reminds me. I feel like all I’ve been is patient. Patiently waiting for updates. Patiently waiting for test results. Patiently waiting for her to wake up. Patiently waiting for her to speak.

Call me selfish, but I want everything back to normal as quickly as possible.

“Hey, honey. How’s Mom? Everything okay?” Dad asks as soon as he answers the phone.

I burst into tears. Tears I’ve been holding back this entire time come out of me at full force. “Dad!” I cry out.

“Drew? What’s wrong?” I hear the panic in his voice .

“She spoke, Dad. Like, actually spoke.” I manage to say. “And she’s sassy.”

“That’s my girl.” I can picture the giant smile on his face right now. “I’m coming back.”

“Dad, it’s midnight, and she just fell back asleep. Get some sleep and come back right away in the morning.”

He knows I’m right, and there’s no point in arguing with me.

We say goodnight to each other, and I end the call.

Leaning my back against the cold concrete wall, I inhale deeply, trying to calm myself.

It’s darker in the hallway at night. They turn down the lights, hoping patients can get some rest. “Quiet hours,” they call it.

I look around and, for the first time since we’ve been here, I truly take in my surroundings.

I truly see where we are and how serious this has been.

Obviously, I knew it was serious. But I’ve been so busy concentrating on getting and giving updates, making sure Dad’s eating and sleeping, handling her FMLA and short-term disability, that I haven’t taken the time to process everything to its full extent.

My chest aches, my knees buckle. Next thing I know, I’m on the floor with my head between my knees. I can’t hold back the tears anymore. The fear. It’s time to let it all out. To feel. I don’t know if I could ever hurt more than I am at this moment.

“Drew.” I hear a faint whisper and look up to see Luca kneeling in front of me. “What happened?”

I shake my head and bury my face back into my knees. “ I think it all just hit me,” I choke out, knowing he probably can’t hear me.

His warm hand gently rubs my forearm. “One day at a time. Right, Drew?”

I peek up at him. His hazel eyes feel like the calm after a storm. I nod, and he helps me stand, leading me back into the room where my mom is asleep. He guides me to the couch. Kneeling again, he covers my lap with a blanket after I sit.

“Thank you, Luca. For everything.”

“Just doing my job,” he replies.

“Is that what this is?” Those words left my mouth before I even realized what I was saying. Shit. No taking it back now. Or can I? How can I turn this around?

Luca eyes me quizzically. His hands still on the blanket, he tucked around me. My heart is beating so fast that I’m sure it’s about to pop out of my chest. “Luca.” My voice is shaky. “Say something.”

I watch his chest rise and fall a few times before he responds to me. “Drew,” he says, his voice soft and careful. Shit, he’s about to break my heart. “It’s late. Maybe try to get some rest. Tomorrow you may feel differently.”

He lifts my hand to his mouth, his soft lips caressing the back of my hand. “Goodnight, Drew,” he says before standing and heading to his station right outside the room.