Page 21 of When Jess Wainwright’s Curiosity Was Satisfied (Wainwright Sisters #4)
Chapter Twenty-One
J ess closed her eyes and stroked the flat of her tongue against the slick steel of him and knew that she was the one who held all the power. His eyes had closed and his head was tipped back and his fist was in his mouth to stifle the growls he couldn’t quite smother. In this, he was wholly hers and she knew she was more than the victor. She was the bloodied conqueror who left ravagement and chaos in her wake.
This was his surrender and her conquest and she relished the sense of triumph. He was truly, irrevocably at her mercy. Just as she had been at his in the library the night before. The sharp knife of joy she suddenly knew was love, slashed through her. Whatever the future held for them, even if it was nothing more than the knowledge he was helpless at her hand, was enough to fill her with a fierce joy she couldn’t contain.
His thrusts became more forceful, and she widened her mouth and gripped his cock with her hand before delicately stroking the testes that knocked against her chin with every surge of his hips. He was wild and unhinged and savage and taking from her and falling under her spell at the same time.
“Fuck, dragonfly,” he groaned around his fist.
She smiled around his cock because she knew he was completely lost to her. That in this moment he was hers as he had never been anyone’s.
Jess kept her gaze on him as his hand slid through her hair. She imagined it was as white-knuckled as the one he held to his mouth and she purred in satisfaction. His face flushed, his eyes squeezed shut and his hand tightened in her upswept curls until she could feel the sting of it, pulling her close as if she were the only thing that would save him from drowning.
“Fuck, dragonfly,” he rasped again. “Fucking take me just like that. It’s what I dreamt of last night, the sweet slide of my cock down your throat. You on your knees taking me.”
His raw confession made liquid pool between her thighs where she knelt on the floor, and Jess angled her jaw to take him more deeply. Yes, I’ll fucking take you, she confessed silently. And you’ll take me.
The first drip of his cum was salt and earth and made her think of the dragonflies winging over green summer grass. His hips rocked against her, and he filled her mouth and her heart with the power of his surrender. When he emptied himself and pulled away, he feathered his finger over her still wet mouth, his expression reverent. He pulled her to her feet, and kissed her temple and the side of her jaw. “You ruin me, dragonfly.”
Jess wasn’t ready to confess he ruined her too, so she simply smiled and met his lips. His tongue stroked into her mouth. “The taste of my cum in your mouth,” he growled as his hand fell to her waist and began rucking up her skirt.
“I’m going to return the favor,” he promised as his fingers found her wet and open.
He yanked her harder against him. “Taking my cock made you so fucking wet and even more perfect,” he said. “Let me make you come too, love.”
That rumbled endearment skated over her and Jess wanted nothing more than to be his love. She spread herself wider and let herself fall against the desk as he dropped to his knees.
When his mouth landed on the throb between her legs, it was more than it had been the night before. Seeing him worship her in the light of day, knowing she’d filled his dreams and been the one to unmake him and render him senseless to all but her touch, heightened her arousal.
He lifted her leg to his shoulder and swept his tongue across her clitoris before sucking it into his mouth. Jess lifted her hips against him and fisted her hands in his hair to hold him just where she wanted him.
He chuckled against her. “Yes, dragonfly, show me how you want me to make you lose yourself,” he said before he swiped his tongue over her once more.
Jess could feel how close she was, feel the rise of the wings in her chest and stomach as she moaned.
“Now I’m the one who must tell you to be quiet,” he admonished with a laugh as he lifted her hand to her mouth and pressed it against her lips.
Jess held her hand to her mouth and let her head fall back on her shoulders.
His grip on her ankle was secure and safe and his mouth was heaven as it slicked over her, hot and sweet and fierce.
“Mine,” he growled against her.
Yes, I’m yours, she confessed to herself. I’ll only ever be yours. She was still too afraid to give him the words, but she held them and savored them. Just as she was savoring him and he was savoring her.
He lifted his head and raised his eyes to hers before he slipped two fingers in his mouth. She couldn’t look away as he swirled them inside her. His expression was open and he gave her a feral grin before he dropped his head again.
The plunge of his fingers inside her, and the nip of his teeth at her center, was so overwhelming she didn’t know if she wanted to push him away or pull him even closer. The pressure built and she gripped him harder, her fingers a tangled vise in the hair at his nape. When her body started quivering beneath his onslaught, and she bit back the sob with her fist, he hummed.
The hum was a caress like the lullaby he’d sung to her the night before, and she broke at its beauty. He swallowed her release, just as he had the night before, his eyes closed in bliss and his face taut with emotion.
When her quaking stopped and she felt wrung out, he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the door. Jess let him back her into it and she closed her eyes as he dipped his thumb into the cleft between her breasts and bit her earlobe.
He dropped his head when she shifted, and groaned against the side of her neck.
His body was flush against hers and the wooden door was rough where it met her elbows. He was hard again, and the bared length of him pressed against her skirts. She wanted to raise them and truly take him into her body.
The incense from snuffed altar candles made of beeswax curled around them, and the harsh abrasion of cedar from the open chest where the vicar stored the vestments tickled her nose. Something tender and breakable filled the air between them, and the hush that fell was full of the threat and promise of words hanging unsaid.
“I will bring you the microscope tomorrow, dragonfly,” he said as he pressed a long kiss to her temple before grazing her nose with his own.
Jess wanted to tell him this had grown far beyond her dratted microscope, far beyond their wager. She swallowed the unspoken protest and jerkily nodded her assent.
His lips met hers in a soft kiss and the look in his eyes made her believe he was telling her goodbye. She wanted to howl at the agony and needlessness of it. She wanted to tug him to her again and hear him say she was his. Just one more time. She wanted him to say he was hers. She buried those words too.
He took her hand and opened the door. When he led her back to the sanctuary, it was empty. “Do you think they commented on our absence?”
Cadoc tightened his grasp and reeled her back against him. “Only my sister and yours,” he said as he nuzzled the crown of her head.
He turned her about and tipped her chin up. His lips fluttered over the corners of her mouth before they settled against her own. They were firm and she could sense his resolve as he gathered the strength to walk away. If this was to be all they shared, Jess knew she needed to do the same. She broke the kiss and gently scraped her fingers over his shadowed jaw.
“Goodbye, Cadoc,” she said as she felt her throat closing up. “I’ll see you tomorrow when you deliver my winnings.”
She slipped away from him, desperate to escape before the sobs she was biting back fell from her lips. She felt his eyes on her, like an arrow nocked to a bow, on the brink of being loosed, but restrained by an indomitable will.
Jess wrapped her cloak under her chin and nearly ran home. When she got there, she pushed the door closed and leaned against it, finally letting herself feel the emptiness.
She felt bereft and broken and she didn’t know if she’d ever feel whole again because of all the wreckage she felt inside her heart.
She let the tears fall silently, her hurt and pain muffled against the wood. She was wiping her eyes when someone gently caressed her arm.
“I know it hurts, dear heart,” her sister Cece murmured.
Jess turned and buried her face between her sister’s shoulder and neck. “Why does it have to hurt this much?”
“Love always hurts. Until it doesn’t. Even then it’s still a constant battle,” Cece said as she stroked her back.
“I didn’t plan on falling in love with him - but I was in the middle of it before I even knew what was happening,” Jess raggedly mumbled.
“That’s the beauty and the agony of it. It comes upon us when we least expect it and leaves us floundering.”
“How am I supposed to live with this? Knowing I’m likely no more than a dalliance to him, and if I’m more than that, he’s determined to keep that knowledge to himself and never act on it?”
“Men are obstinate and often ignorant. And as I said yesterday, often truly afraid of surrendering to what they feel.”
“I don’t know what he feels for me beyond lust. He’s said things, but only when he was showing me the strength of his attraction. I don’t think I can trust there’s more.”
“I can’t tell you everything will be alright, or assure you that he’ll be brave enough to ever tell you how he feels. All I can tell you is that I’m here for you and I’ll be here to help you mend yourself if you need to. As will Vin and Emily and Gertie and Arie and Fran.”
Jess eased herself from her sister’s embrace and wiped away her tears once again. “Thank you.”
Cece met her gaze and brushed her hand over Jess’s cheek. “You’re welcome, dear heart. Find your courage, just as I did with Mal. Let it be your blade.”