Page 5

“Great job today, Gabe. I know I’ve said this to you a million times, but I’ve never seen someone more determined to get themselves into shape. You really are a completely different person than that shlubby guy that walked through those doors two years ago.”

I put the cap of my water bottle between my teeth and pulled the stopper open before tilting my head back, taking long fluid pulls of water. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and used the towel I’d slung over my bare shoulder to wipe the pooling sweat from my hairline.

“It’s thanks to you, man. I didn’t have a clue when I first walked in here.”

I sighed. “Shit, sometimes I still feel like I don’t. When I come in to work out on my own, I feel like a lost puppy.”

Jason laughed and slapped me on the shoulder. “Well, considering you are now in better shape than I am, I’d say you are doing just fine. See ya Tuesday?”

I nodded. “Yeah. See ya then.”

Once all the weights we’d used were racked neatly, I wiped down the bench and silently debated a quick jaunt on the treadmill before I hit the showers. I peeked at the digital clock on the wall, making my final decision to skip it. Alex would be leaving Westing House in an hour and heading to that shitty motel they’d put him in.

I wasn’t thrilled about that. As far as I could gather, it was taking the construction crew longer to get Alex’s living quarters suitable, so that useless whore Melissa had sloughed my boy off into that crack den. I’d spent two sleepless nights in a row freezing my balls off in the parking lot, making sure no one tried to get into Alex’s room or fuck with him when he was coming or going.

I had managed to catch a few hours of rest this morning after Alex had gotten to work safely, but still decided to skip the coming evening's kickboxing class. The class didn’t start ‘til seven, and it would be well past dark by then. I needed to be at the motel in case anything happened.

I made quick work of peeling my shirt and gym shorts off and tossing them into my gym bag before wrapping my towel around my naked waist. I made my way through the locker room and into the shower area.

Emberford Family Fitness did most of its business in the mornings and early afternoons. I’d always preferred to have my training sessions in the evenings when it was less crowded. It had started back when I began working out, because I felt so disgusting and ashamed of my figure. That, and the fact that, for the first six months, I felt like a bumbling fool. Learning the equipment, and trying to stay on pace with the exercises the trainer was demonstrating? It was so stressful. And the sweat… my God, the gallons and gallons of sweat. If anyone had been my chubby, soaked, miserable self in those dark days, I might have considered ending it all.

I paused as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror that ran the length of the locker room. Jason had been right about one thing: I was a completely different person than I was before, both in body and mind. I was proud of my body now. I had a six-pack, nice pecs, and I could swear my dick had grown two inches since I lost all the weight.

I had been lucky that my skin had recovered. I had a few stretch marks here and there, but, for the most part, everything was tight and where it should be. I finally had a body I could be proud to present to Alex. I looked like someone who was worthy of loving him.

It was almost time.

I continued into the showers and pulled my towel off to hang it on the small ceramic hook affixed to the side of the shower stall. The room was empty, save one guy showering in the corner. He had his back to me and glanced over his shoulder as I walked in. I noticed him peeking again as I hung up the towel.

He had a nice body and tan skin. Dirty blonde hair buzzed short against his scalp. He looked like any other down-low gym rat. He looked over his shoulder again and caught my stare. Once our eyes met, he turned his body to the side to show me his swollen cock jetting out from between his legs. It wasn’t the first time I’d been cruised in these showers.

“Sorry,”

I said curtly. “You’ve got a great ass, but I’m taken.”

He turned the rest of the way around to face me fully. “Is she here?”

I frowned at him and, walked into my stall, and pulled on the nozzle to start the hot spray. I was exhausted, and just wanted to let the steam permeate my pores a bit before I spent another freezing night in the driver’s seat of my SUV.

Stepping under the shower head, I closed my eyes and let the water cascade down my face and body.

“Just let me suck you off. No one has to know…”

I let out an irritated sigh and turned around to see him down on his knees in front of my stall.

“Please,”

he said beseechingly, looking up at me through wet eyelashes. Even to my irritated gaze, he was beautiful.

“No, thank you,”

I said tightly. “Have a nice night. Good luck with the next guy.”

He reached for my flaccid dick, and I instinctively punched him in the mouth. There was no more premeditation behind it than drawing my next breath. The crunch of my knuckles against his teeth was sudden and violent, much harder than I would have consciously intended. He was shocked by the hit and yelled out as he fell back, losing his center of gravity and crashing down hard against the tile.

“That’s sexual assault, bud,”

I growled through clenched teeth. “I fucking told you no. Now, are you finished, or do you want me to put your head through the fucking wall?”

He scrambled to his feet as blood began to spill from the split in his top lip. He held his hand to his mouth, but it wasn’t enough to stop the blood from splattering down on the tile in a trail behind him as he ran out of the showers.

“I’m so sorry, Alex,”

I mumbled in distress as I grabbed a wash cloth off the hanging rack and soaped myself up, trying to clean the pig’s disgusting touch off of me. “You’re the only one that’s supposed to touch me.”

I finished my shower feeling gross and pissed, despite my earlier intentions. I dressed quickly and headed out of the gym, checking the time on my phone again as I reached the car door.

Fuck, I was gonna miss him!

I had hit the remote start as I crossed the gym lobby, but 30 seconds of engine against a snow storm still had the internal temperature reading 19 degrees on the dashboard thermometer.

Despite the freezing air, my hands felt clammy as they gripped the steering wheel. I turned down Banx Boulevard, driving well past the legal speed limit. I switched lanes here and there to avoid slower drivers and made it to Westing House a full seven minutes later than I had intended.

I had gotten into the habit of parking down the block and waiting for Alex to leave in the evenings. Once he’d made it to the corner, I’d get out of the car and walk along with him. Staying out of sight enough so he wouldn’t notice and get freaked out, but close enough to quickly intervene should a drug addict or gangbanger decide to try anything. It would be easy enough to justify myself as a Good Samaritan without drawing too much attention to myself.

Come to think of it, that might actually be perfect. It could be our meet-cute. Alex would be walking home, someone would come up and start screwing with him, and then I could come up from behind and knock the guy’s lights out. Alex would think I was some kind of knight in shining armor, and we could take it from there.

“That would scare him, though,”

I said to myself as the thought crossed my mind. “I don’t want him to be scared. He’s been through enough.”

Panic began to rise as I let the car slowly inch down the street past Westing House. All the lights were off inside; everyone had already gone.

Oh, no.

Thoughts of finding Alex’s limp body along the side of the road crashed through my psyche as my heart started pounding in my chest.

You can’t keep him safe; you’ve already failed! You’re late because you let someone else touch you in the shower, now Alex will suffer for it…

“No, he won’t! I’ll find him!”

I slammed on the gas pedal, causing the rear tires to momentarily lose traction against the icy blacktop. I turned the wheel, correcting enough not to fishtail, and off I went. I made it to the edge of the block and turned left, heedless of the standing red light.

Another block down, and still no Alex.

I blew through the next light, scanning the sidewalks in a half-panic. He was nowhere to be found.

Wait! The diner…

I made a U-turn at the next intersection, cruised down an alleyway, and into the back parking lot. The dinner rush was in full swing, and the parking lot was busy. I slowed the car as I drove past the entrance. I had no choice but to come to a stop to let a small flow of people cross in front of me as they exited the restaurant.

“Come on, come on, come on…”

I chanted impatiently.

Thirty more feet and I’d have a clear view of the bay windows that lined the side. Alex liked sitting in the corner booth by the window. It was the closest table to the kitchen, and the least-crowded part of the restaurant.

Alex doesn’t like crowds.

I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel, anxious energy bubbling over inside me.

I prided myself on being a kind and patient man. Holding the door for strangers behind me, fetching things off the top shelf for little old ladies in the grocery store, always letting pedestrians cross in front of me with a smile…but, I swore to God, if this old man didn’t get the fuck out of the road, I was gonna turn him into a fucking flapjack.

“Jesus Christ!”

I muttered as he finally cleared the bumper, and I let off the brake, allowing the car to roll forward and inching ever closer to the pellucid glass.

I rolled my window down half-way and brought the car to a crawl as glimpses of the inside came into view. The place was packed. At first, I had a hard time seeing past all the heads seated in the booths that lined the window.

As more of the window became visible, my panic increased. My breathing grew labored.

He’s not here, you fool! There’s way too many people for him to have…

“There you are!”

I smiled and let out the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding as the back of Alex’s head became visible. He was tucked into his usual corner seat. Though, tonight, he was facing the wall instead of the dining area. It made sense that he wouldn’t want to sit there staring at all those people. I’d bet my truck that he had his headphones in, though I was too far away to see the shell of his ear.

“Fuck!”

My ass came clear off the seat and my head slammed into the roof of the truck as the car behind me honked and scared the shit out of me.

I hadn’t realized I’d stopped the car entirely, causing traffic to back up behind me. I quickly put my hand out the window and waved before getting out of the way and parking across the lot. Normally, I could get a parking spot in the front row and have a clear view of Alex through the window, but with it being so crazy-busy, that wasn’t an option. I was going to have to go inside.

What if he sees you?

I flipped the visor mirror down and examined my face. I hadn’t shaved in a couple of days. My crop of stubble wasn’t too bad, but I would have preferred to have things a little more tidy. I took a couple of deep breaths and put my pointer and middle finger against the pulse point in my neck.

What if he talks to you? What if this is where you two meet?

I could feel myself beginning to sweat. “Okay, we can do this…”

I reassured myself.

I grabbed my tan beanie from the passenger’s seat, rummaged around in the glove box for my old phone charger, and got out of the truck. I pulled the collar of my jacket up close around my neck, effectively obscuring my jawline as I walked into the reception area and up to the host's stand.

“Good evening,”

an older woman with red hair and a southern accent said.

“Good evening,” I smiled.

“Just one?”

“Yes, ma’am. Just me tonight.”

She turned around, grabbed a laminated menu and a silverware setting, and gestured for me to follow her. I scanned the room in front of her as she walked, trying to estimate where she was going to seat me. Butterflies started flapping around in my stomach as Alex came into view. There was a small booth two over from his on the same side, and then there was one on the opposite side of the aisle. That was way too close. There’d be no way he wouldn’t see me. Especially when he got up to leave.

Two over on the same side was much better. “Actually, would it be possible to get this one? My phone could use a good charge?”

I smiled sweetly and pulled the phone charger out of my pocket, holding it up conspicuously.

“Sure, no problem.”

I took the seat, and she laid the menu and silverware down on the table in front of me.

“Can I get you started with somethin’ to drink?”

“Um, I think I’m ready to order, if that’s okay.”

She nodded and pulled the small pad out of her apron pocket and the ink pen from behind her ear. “What can I get for ya?”

“I’ll take a well-done cheeseburger. No onions or pickles, and extra ketchup, please.”

“Side and drink?”

Onion rings and a Coke, thank you.”

She paused for a second as the pen hovered over the pad, then chuckled, “I think I’m having déjà vu. I could swear I just took this exact order from another customer.”

I smiled wide and chuckled. “When I used to wait tables, all the orders started to sound the same after a while.”

She laughed. “It does tend to get somewhat monotonous, huh?”

She secured her pen back behind her ear and collected my menu before scurrying off.

Alex did have his headphones in. I caught a glimpse of white when he reached up and tucked some unruly locks of hair behind his ears. I put my palms down flat on the tabletop and lifted myself up a few inches, trying to see over the booths. It was no use; I couldn’t see his phone screen from here.

Alex looked up and took his left headphone out of his ear as the same waitress that had just taken my order approached his table carrying a small silver tray. Alex favored her with a smile—lucky girl!—as she set his plate down in front of him.

I couldn’t hear them over the din of the crowded restaurant, but I’m assuming she asked if he needed anything else. Some sort of solicitous waitress patter. Alex shook his head, chestnut curls escaping his ear’s hold. He pushed his hair out of his face as she walked away. He reached over, picked up his hat, and used it to wrangle his curls out of his face so he could eat.

“You beautiful boy,”

I murmured under my breath.

I hated having his back towards me, but this was as close as I’d been to him in years. There wasn’t a window, or a building, or a city block between us. Just a mere 40 feet or so. Two booths!

God, why was it so hot in here?

At any moment, Alex could look over his shoulder and lock eyes with me… but he didn’t. Instead, Alex began his meal with the side, as usual. He liked to have his side dish as a sort of appetizer. With burgers, he liked onion rings, if given the option. He wouldn’t touch the burger until he’d eaten each and every onion ring.

At first, I used to think maybe he just really liked fries and onion rings, but I quickly observed that he did that with all foods. Mashed potatoes, vegetables, rice… that was all consumed before the protein.

When the waitress brought my plate, I thanked her and immediately handed her a $20 bill out of my wallet and told her to keep the change. Alex was a quick eater, and I needed to be able to get out of here before he walked past me.

I made quick work of the onion rings, and took three or four bites of the burger before the waitress dropped Alex’s check off. I took one last mouthful and threw my coat around my shoulders, hurtling through the restaurant. I looked over my shoulder just as I hit the entrance and saw Alex stand up from the table.

I jogged through the parking lot and ducked behind the hedge line of the gas station on the corner. Three minutes later, Alex came sauntering past at a leisurely pace. Despite the freezing temperature, my boy was in no hurry. He’d wrapped his scarf around the bottom half of his face, and pulled his coat tightly around himself, his hands in his coat pockets.

“I wouldn’t be in a hurry to get back to that roach’s nest either, baby boy. We gotta get you outta there.”

Once he was far enough ahead, I began my walk, keeping enough distance so he wouldn’t hear my boots hitting the snow and turn around. I kept to the sides of the street, hopping shadow to shadow. It wasn’t hard to hide from him, unfortunately. Vigilance was just not in that boy’s DNA.

A flip switched in my brain and terror washed over me, colder than the winter’s wind.

His room… you didn’t clear the motel room!

I normally stopped by and checked out his room before I walked him home. I was late, and had to go straight to Westing House. Homeless people liked to break into the motel rooms during the day and sleep. I’d watched one of them break into the room three down from his the other night.

It was too late now. We were too close to the motel; I’d never get ahead of him enough to check the room and not have him see me.

Fuck!

Careless mistakes like this are going to get him hurt one day…

I shook my head and said a silent prayer that everything would be fine when he walked into the room. Alex waited on the corner for the light to change, and, as he crossed the street, I held back. The parking lot of the motel was well lit; there weren't any good places to hide. Once Alex was inside, I’d cross the street.

I squinted, trying to see him more clearly as he approached his room. He swung the door open and I craned my neck trying to see past the threshold. The light was already on inside and, from what I could see, the room was empty. Unless someone was hiding in the bathroom, all was clear. Alex had left the lights on this morning; he didn’t like coming back to a dark space.

Alex was still adjusting to being by himself. Having grown up in foster care, there were always people around him. He had the other boys when he was trapped with Barbara, and then he had the Millers after that. This was the first time he was sleeping somewhere all by himself.

I wish I could hold him.

Alex walked into the room, but left the door open behind him. I watched through the open door as he walked across the room to the heating unit on the wall and turned it off. He unwrapped his scarf and took his hat off and tossed them down onto the bed.

“What are you doing, baby? Close the door,”

I said under my breath.

After a minute, he walked back across the room, looked out into the empty parking lot and, thankfully, closed the door. His curtains were already pulled, so I finally crossed the street and tip-toed up to his door waiting to hear… well, anything, I guess.

It wasn’t long before I heard him start the shower through the paper-thin door. He hadn’t screamed, and there were no other noises… all was clear. Alex was settled in for the night.

I headed back in the direction of the diner to pick up my car, grateful and thrilled I’d gotten to be so close to him today.