Page 16

I had been up for several hours when I decided to tap on Alex’s door to see if he was awake yet. It was almost 9:30 in the morning. Alex was normally up well before now. I was starting to get nervous that I’d made him uncomfortable on our date last night.

He seemed to have an aversion to public displays of affection. That was fine, if that was how he preferred things. I just wish I would have asked him before just assuming and acting on my own impulses.

Why would he want to walk down the street holding your hand, anyway?

I had thought maybe last night would be the night, but it didn’t happen. Alex played coy and hadn’t asked me to spend the night with him. The ball was in Alex’s court, after all. I needed him to make the moves. He needed to tell me he wanted to have sex with me. It had to be his call.

Every fiber in my body knew that he wanted me last night… that kiss.

But there could be no question. When it finally happened, I needed it to be Alex who wanted it. I’d yearned for him for so long that I couldn’t be sure unless he explicitly told me. I never wanted to put him in a position of feeling pressured to have sex, or that sex was all I was after. If Alex didn't want to have sex with me, that was fine. I was more than prepared to go the rest of my life without it.

I glanced over at the cup of coffee I’d gone and gotten for him a little over an hour ago. I’m sure it was cold at that point. I hoped he wasn’t avoiding me.

Just then, a small knock pulled me from my thoughts and my heart skipped a beat.

He’s awake!

I hurried over to the door and opened it to see his beautiful face bathed in sunlight from the windows. His hair was damp—he must have just gotten out of the shower. And the best part? He was smiling.

“Good morning, cutie,”

I said, and, without being able to stop myself, I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“Good morning,”

he replied, blushing.

“I brought you a cup of coffee, but it was a while ago. Would you like to go get a fresh cup?”

“You should have woken me. I slept way too late, anyway.”

“I take it you slept well, then?”

Alex nodded and leaned across the door frame. Goosebumps erupted across my entire body as Alex wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I looped my arms around him and nuzzled the side of my head against his.

“What would you like to do today, sweet boy?”

He’s so snuggly.

“We could take a b-bath.”

Did he just… Was that what I think it was? He wants to have sex with you… in broad daylight!

I craned my head up and laughed, as excited energy burst through my nervous system.

“Naughty! I was not expecting you to say that!”

I took a step back and looked into his eyes. “You wanna take a bath with me?”

He bashfully broke our eye contact and looked away. “Maybe…”

Just relax. He’s nervous, but he wants you. One step at a time!

I gently hooked my fingers under his chin and turned his head back to face me as I leaned over and kissed his lips. “How about we get some breakfast and go from there?”

Alex smiled. “Deal.”

“Are you a savory breakfast or a sweet breakfast kinda guy?”

I asked, fully knowing the answer.

Savory. He likes his eggs fried with the yolks runny so he can have something to dip his sourdough toast in. On the off occasion, he might order pancakes, but that is rare.

“Either. B-both, I guess.”

Not being able to help myself, I rested my hand on the small of Alex’s back as we walked down the hallway towards the elevator. He stepped in ahead of me and gifted me a sweet smile as the elevator doors closed.

Once outside, I pulled up the walking directions to the restaurant named Lucy’s I had found earlier. They served all-day breakfast and had an expansive menu. The place had great reviews and the pictures looked cute, so that’s where I steered us.

I walked beside Alex, keeping him on the inside of the sidewalk. I’d seen a car get impatient in the city traffic and drive up on the sidewalk on more than one occasion, and I wanted to be able to grab Alex and get him out of the way if it happened.

As much as I longed to weave my fingers into his, I refrained. I had asked him last night if holding his hand in public made him uncomfortable. He hesitated, and wouldn’t give me a strong answer. The last thing I ever wanted was for Alex to be uncomfortable because of something I did. So, until I was explicitly told otherwise, I’d keep my hands to myself.

I held the door for him once we reached our destination. The place looked terribly outdated, but the wall of bacon grease and maple syrup that enticed our senses upon entering more than made up for it. I glanced over to see Alex smiling as he looked around the crowded room.

He looks happy.

When Alex took a seat in the booth, I was tempted to sit next to him just to be close, but I took the seat opposite, deciding the view was worth it.

I picked up the large, laminated menus propped up on the far end of the table and handed one to Alex. We started looking over the menus. After a moment, I asked him, “What looks good?”

“I think I would l-like some eggs, but a b-ban-nana panc-cake sounds good, too.”

“I think I saw… yeah, right here…”

I held my menu up and pointed. “They have a pancake breakfast that comes with two eggs, and two pancakes.”

“Perfect!”

“Your smile is perfect, Alex.”

He blushed and turned his head to the side. “My t-teeth are c-crooked.”

“That’s what makes it so wonderful. My teeth are all straight and boring; no character.”

After the waitress had taken our order, I asked Alex what he was thinking about.

“How I haven't h-had enough c-coffee.”

I chuckled. “Are you a three-cup-a-day kinda guy?”

As if I didn’t know!

“Minimum.”

“Noted.”

“D-do you drink a lot of coffee?”

he asked shyly.

“I usually have a cup every day, but I’m more of a tea person. I prefer tea in the afternoon and evenings.”

“S-sophisticated,”

Alex replied.

“Hardly. I drink that tea while playing Space Blaster on my phone.”

He laughed, “I’m on l-level 2,500 on Candy C-crush.”

2,564, actually… He’d been stuck on that one for several days now.

When the food was delivered, we fell into a comfortable silence as we ate our breakfasts. I leaned in towards him a bit and said, “You’ve got chocolate on your chin, and if you don’t get it off soon, I’ll have to come around the table and take care of it… with my tongue.”

Alex’s cheeks and ears turned maroon. “Tease,”

he joked, as he wiped the bit of chocolate off his chin with his napkin.

“Oh, I’m the tease? You’re the sexy little snack sitting across from me, covering yourself in chocolate. A man only has so much restraint, Alex.”

He giggled and set his fork down. I was grinning so hard it almost hurt.

God, he is perfect. Sweet, funny… that smile!

The waitress brought the check and I handed her my credit card as my phone began to ring. It was the hotel. “Do you mind waiting for my card so I can take this?”

Alex nodded, and I excused myself from the table.

“Hello?”

After making my request, I hung up with the concierge. They hadn’t been able to get the roses that I had wanted because the florist wasn't open until later, but they said the candles and the massage oil shouldn’t be an issue. He assured me they would be brought up and left in my room within the hour.

As I hung up, Alex made his way outside, the bright sunlight illuminating him like an angel.

“Hey, cutie,”

I greeted him. “All set?”

He nodded and handed me back my card. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“B-breakfast.”

“I should be thanking you for the company.”

I might not have had a grasp on too many things in life, but I sure was getting the hang of making Alex smile. I’m sure that astrophysicists trained at MIT couldn’t be any prouder of their accomplishments. He seemed to like my corny jokes and small flirtations. Or, at the very least, he was sweet enough to pretend he did.

We meandered around downtown, stopping and looking at the displays in the windows and goofing off. Being with Alex was so easy… so laid back and comfortable.

As we passed by a small bookstore, I paused. “Mind if we stop in here for a minute? There’s a book I’m looking for, and they might have it.”

“Sure,”

he replied, “I’ll never say no to a bookstore.”

I held the door and we walked in. Alex stopped at a small display of paperbacks as I approached the store attendant behind the register.

“HI! I’m wondering if you might have a certain book. Can I give you the title?”

The girl glanced up from the book she was reading, and her eyes widened as she raked them over me standing in front of her.

“Oh, absolutely, I’d be more than happy to help.”

I immediately recognized her over-eager tone and the bashful smile she donned. I got it a lot from women.

“What’s the name of the book… How To Be the Hottest Guy in the Room?”

Actually, you little tart, Alex is the hottest guy currently in this room…. But what would you and your silly vagina know?

I was used to females flirting with me, and sometimes it was fun to engage in a little innocent repartee. But doing it in front of Alex made me feel gross. I suddenly wished we hadn’t even come in here.

Alex suddenly appeared next to me, as if by magic, and laced his fingers with mine without saying a word. I was surprised, but eternally grateful.

The girl’s face fell, and she asked me for the title of the book I was searching for, her tone drastically different.

I pulled my phone out and looked at the note I’d made after Alex had told me his favorite book during our hot chocolate date last night. I’d already read it several times, but I didn’t want Alex to know that.

“The Hitman’s Guide by Alice Winters.”

I watched Alex look over at me in surprise, and then smiled.

Checkmate.

“It doesn’t look like we have that title. We don’t carry a lot of independent authors. But I can order it for you.”

My mind was racing a million miles a minute, and I couldn’t even register what the girl had said. Was Alex jealous?

He was! The second that little harlot started flirting with you, he ran right over to claim what’s his!

“Do you want me to order it?”

I shook off my thoughts and cleared my throat. “That would be great, thank you.”

I chuckled to myself as we walked out of the shop.

“W-what?”

“You were jealous.”

“Was not,”

Alex retorted.

“Was too… Err… were too,”

I said, quickly shaking off the grammatical slip. “That poor girl flirted with me for all of 30 seconds before you walked over to ‘claim’.”

“You wanted me to let you know about public affection. That’s all I was doing,”

Alex lied with a small shrug.

“Ah, okay.”

We walked a few more blocks talking about everything and nothing until we came up on the downtown skating rink. I had made a vow to take Alex to do fun, cute date things. Things that Tom would have never done with Alex in a million years. Ice skating together could create a really nice memory for Alex.

“This could be fun! I haven't skated in years.”

Alex hesitated, “I’m n-not a very good s-skater.”

“I’m no Scott Hamilton myself, but it could be fun to try it together.”

“Okay,”

he shrugged.

“You are going to hold my hand, though, right?”

I asked him as if I were scared to do it alone.

“This is going to go p-poorly.”

I approached the attendant to rent our skates and pay for the tickets. “I need a size 12, and a size…”

Alex is a size eight.

I looked over at Alex, waiting for him to tell his size. “Eight.”

I grabbed the skates and walked over to an empty bench at the edge of the rink so we could change our shoes.

“When was the last time you skated, Alex?”

I’d never seen him skate.

“When I was 13. First time and last time. I broke my wrist. Haven’t skated since.”

Oh, you stupid motherfucker. Of course he didn’t want to skate. Idiot!

“Oh, shit,”

I said, looking over at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. We don’t have to do this. You should have told me.”

He tried to tell you, and you were too obsessed with having your Hallmark Movie moment…

I tried desperately to read his facial expressions.

“It’s okay,”

he said. “What’s the old s-saying? Try, try again?”

Now he’s just obliging you. Going along because you want to do it. You’re no better than Tom. Just using Alex for your own fulfillment.

“Really, Alex—if it’s going to be triggering or stress you out, I don’t want to do it.”

“M-my whole life is triggering.”

That statement broke my heart. I sighed and turned on the bench to face him. I reached up and touched his sweet face, and he nuzzled into my palm. “I don’t ever want you to be uncomfortable or nervous. Especially over something we don’t have to do. It’s just not worth it. Let’s find some other way to spend the afternoon.”

I leaned over and started to untie the skate I’d just finished securing on my foot. Alex laid his hand on my arm. “No… no. I kinda w-wanna try.”

His eyes were wide open, and he was looking fully at me, wearing a small smile.

“Are you absolutely sure?”

I searched his face, looking for any sign of hesitation. After a moment, he nodded and began lacing up his skates.

“I’ll hold on to you,”

I vowed. “If at any point you want to stop, we will.”

I held on to Alex firmly as we entered the ring, staying close to the outer wall so Alex could stabilize himself. We took a very slow pace as Alex got familiar with the feel of the skates on his feet and the blades running against the ice. About halfway through our first loop on the rink, Alex had gained enough confidence to let go of the wall and lean more heavily on my arm.

“You are doing great,”

I squeezed his hand in encouragement. I saw the edge of Alex’s mouth curl into a grin, but he kept his eyes laser-focused on his feet.

As we rounded the end of our second lap, my heart stopped, and I felt like I had suddenly been hit by a semi truck. There, coming out of the small bodega tucked into the corner, was the blond boy from the bathhouse. He was walking along the outer edge of the rink, scrolling his phone and sipping coffee from a styrofoam to-go cup. I almost didn’t recognize him with all his clothes on, but there was no doubt in my mind who it was.

He’s gonna see you. He’s gonna see you and lock eyes with you, and Alex is going to notice! He’s gonna know you fucked that boy. A single glance and he’ll question your loyalty for the rest of your lives! GET ALEX OUT OF HERE!

I felt like I was going to be sick to my stomach. As we came up on the entrance, I slowed down and made a mental effort to not let my voice crack when I spoke. “How about we grab a cup of hot coffee and head back to the hotel?”

Alex’s eyebrows shot up, but he nodded instantly. Was he overly-excited to be done skating, or was it the thought of finally returning to the hotel for some alone time that had him flushed?

Alex is a healthy, sexually active young man. You are going to have to get over yourself and show him you can satisfy his needs… all of his needs.

We made our way out of the rink and I made quick work of shuffling us out of the area, unsure of the exact direction the blond call-boy had walked. All I knew was I wanted to get Alex out of the vicinity as quickly as possible. Every head of light hair was stoking the panic that had taken light in my chest. My pulse was racing. It was all I could do to stay calm and smile at Alex.

We stopped inside a Starbucks and I ordered a toffee-nut latte. Alex searched over the menu for a moment before simply saying, “same.”

As we turned and walked down the street the hotel was on, my nerves started picking up again.

A flippant comment about taking a bath together didn’t necessarily mean he wanted sex. Alex loves baths. Maybe he wanted to just soak in the tub together. Maybe he brought his swim trunks?

I squeezed Alex’s hand a little tighter to steel my nerves. “Were you serious this morning when you said you wanted to take a bath with me?”

It took Alex a moment to respond. “Yes.”

“Does that mean you would like to sleep with me, Alex?”

I felt my face split into a cheesy grin when Alex’s face turned pink. He was so adorable, but it did make me a little sad that he had to hide with Tom. Or keep everything so quiet that talking about sex between two consenting adults was enough to make him light up like a Christmas tree bulb. It shouldn’t be that way.

“Yes,”

he said again, matter-of-factly.

That’s it. He’s said it. No more excuses.

“That’s… really good to hear. I believe that open and honest communication is key.”

I glanced over at him. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

“N-no.”

“What do you like in bed?”

Alex didn’t respond right away. I wondered if he was actually going to answer. Did he even know? Did he have enough experience to be sure?

“More importantly,”

I began again, trying to make the question easier to answer, “is there anything you don’t like?”

I never wanted to do anything Alex wasn’t going to enjoy. Starting a sexual relationship with him needed to be on his terms. It was for his pleasure. I was merely there to facilitate.

“I d-don’t think so.”

Okay. He wants you to take control and handle business like a man.

From his Grindr profile, I knew he was a pretty strict bottom. That’s also what he had told me by text. I literally didn’t care. If Alex wanted to fuck me, so be it. I’d let him top me every day. I didn’t think I’d love it, but the point was fulfilling Alex’s needs. His wants. His desires.

Help him out a little!

“Okay, well for example,”

I started, “I’m pretty exclusively a top. You previously told me you prefer to bottom. Is that all okay?”

Talk, talk, talk. You are pathetic. Take that boy to bed and lay him down. He’s begging for it.

“Yes,”

Alex agreed, giving me another coy smile.

“Good.”

As the elevator doors closed, I backed Alex into the corner and kissed his lips. Alex moaned around my tongue and hooked his arms around my waist. I kissed him deeply, lapping my tongue against his as my fingers wound through his curls. “I love your hair,”

I told him as I broke the kiss when the elevator dinged.

I was still all over Alex when he glanced over my shoulder and gasped. I looked over my shoulder to see two old biddies dressed in their Sunday best and clutching their purses. They didn’t say anything, and neither did we. We all just stood there in shock, momentarily unmoving until the elevator doors eventually closed again, and we were right back at it.

Once we had gotten out on the correct floor, I stopped in front of my room. “Can I see your phone?”

He nodded and pulled it from his pocket before handing it to me. I pulled up the timer and set 10 minutes on the clock before handing the phone back. “I’m going to unlock my side of our adjoining doors. When the time goes off, I want you to come into the room, get undressed, and get under the blanket on the bed. Does that all sound okay?”

Alex’s face was already flushed. He nodded vigorously, and I kissed him in the hallway once more.

“I’ll see you soon, cutie.”