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I reread the text message I’d drafted once more, trying to make sure I had a good balance between this is a professional text that I had to send, and I’m trying to flirt with you via text hoping you’ll open up to me a little more, and I can get to know you…

ME: Hey Alex. It’s Gabe with EFD. I just wanted to let you know that we got the other two extinguishers, and I’ll be by on Monday to install them. Sorry again about the mix-up, but at least I’ll get to see you again. :)

It was also Saturday. Was it weird to text someone about business matters on the weekend? Firefighters worked all the time, right? The last thing I wanted was to come across as unprofessional or creepy. But I wanted to talk to him again so badly. I wanted to watch his cheeks turn rosy colors as he bit his lip nervously and looked away when I smiled at him. I wanted to count the faint freckles on the bridge of his nose. I wanted to stand close to him, smelling the sweet scent of his body, and imagine ravishing him.

I had enough self-awareness to know when someone found me attractive. That much wasn't in doubt—or, was it? All l I could hope was that my yearning for Alex hadn’t made my mind see things that weren’t actually there. On the other hand, Alex had blushed twice. Twice!

Everything I had worked for over the last few years was finally within reach. I had gotten myself into shape, every aspect of my physique tight, toned, and tanned. The $65,000 worth of dental work and implants had given me a dazzling smile. I’d recently moved Tom out of the way like an unwanted chess piece, and the Westing House project was going swimmingly, just according to plan. The big picture was all coming together, and it was beautiful. More so than I had ever dared to hope. I just needed to not fuck it up.

Alex had just walked into the mall. Now that we’d officially met, I didn’t dare follow him inside. My gut told me that I would never recover from how perverted I would seem. Although, my brain countered, would it really be the worst thing? I could go inside, grab a smoothie and just happen to ‘bump’ into Alex. We would chat for a few minutes, and then I could ask him to lunch…

I shook my head. “Too coincidental,”

I muttered to myself. I sighed and finally hit the send button on the text I’d spent way too long composing. I put my phone down and drummed my fingers on the steering wheel of the car, my whole body abuzz with nervous energy.

You just texted Alex!

Maybe the smiley face at the end was too much? Was I trying too hard? What if he thinks I’m a total creep? I’m texting him about fire extinguishers on the weekend, essentially asking him to work when he’s off the clock. That’s just… annoying.

“Ugh, I should have waited until Monday morning. That would have been more appropriate and less… desperate.”

I was glaring at my reflection in the rearview mirror so hard I nearly jumped when my phone dinged.

Alex texted back!

Love of my life ??: Hi Gabe. Sounds great on the extinguishers, but you know you don't technically have to wait until Sunday to see me again. If you want, that is.

I pored over both his reply and my initial text. I had told him I would be there on Monday, not Sunday. Was that a nervous mistake on his part?

He said I didn’t have to wait till tomorrow to see him again. Was he asking me out? Exclamation point, question mark?

My heart was beating faster than a jackrabbit’s, and it was getting difficult to hold my phone and type from all the sweat seeping out of my palms. Was it unduly forward of me to assume he wanted to see me… today? Tonight? Was this it? Was Alex falling for me?

I curled my top lip between my teeth and chewed on it as I started typing.

Me: Pick you up at eight?

I was starting to feel a bit lightheaded, like I’d just been through an intense cardio workout at the gym. I tried to keep myself contained enough to not start squealing like a schoolgirl during her prom-posal.

Love of my life ??: Can’t wait :)

I suddenly hated the fact that I was stuck in the car, as all I wanted to do was get out and dance around the parking lot like a love-sick loon. I had a date with Alex!

I HAD A DATE WITH ALEX! Tonight!

Oh… fu-u-uck. What if it goes really well, and he wants to make love?

The butterflies in my stomach quickly soured and sat heavy in my gut as anxiety took over.

You are inexperienced and ill-prepared! You’ll make a fool of yourself, and, worse than that, you could hurt him…

I smacked my forehead with the palm of my hand a few times, hoping to quiet the voices, even just for a moment so I could think.

I pulled up my contact list and fired off a quick text to my personal trainer. It was short notice, but I’d heard more than once about his… extracurriculars. Jason was a sweet guy and a tremendous advocate of my self-improvement, but it was a badly-hidden secret that he made the lion’s share of his salary on activities a lot more illicit than helping a few personal training clients juice. Hard drugs were one of the things he peddled, but there were others. More human vices.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

***

“Alex is settling in well at Westing House,”

I told Barbara over my shoulder as I buttoned up my shirt. I’d left the top to the freezer slightly ajar so she could hear me. “Tonight is gonna be our first date! I’m taking him to a nice steak dinner. He deserves a nice meal in a good restaurant. You know, Babs, things could have been completely different. You could have taken care of Alex. Nurtured him. Could have been a motherly figure, like you were supposed to be. That boy is so full of love that, if you'd have just taken care of him, he would have made sure you were taken care of as well. That’s how Alex is. And by proxy, I would have made sure you were taken care of.”

I paused to step into a new pair of jeans. “I would have loved to have a mother-in-law that I cared about. We could have popped by for dinners, and maybe a movie night every once in a while to make sure you never got too lonely. You could have been there for Alex on his wedding day. We could have made you a grandmother when we finally decided to adopt kids of our own. Things could have been so different.”

I walked back over to the freezer to see her gobsmacked dead face staring back up at me from the bottom. “Instead, here we are. You happy with yourself?”

I clicked my tongue at her in disapproval. “Well, goodnight. Don’t wait up; I’ll be home late.”

I closed the freezer, spritzed myself with Tobacco Vanille, and headed out to meet my prince.

I pulled into Westing House at 7:46. I had been sitting at the end of the block, just around the corner, since 7:06. The thought of disrespecting Alex by being even one minute late was completely out of the question. At any rate, I’d had plenty of time to stop by the florist and buy Alex a dozen roses. I’d also had plenty of time to decide the flowers were overkill and that sweeping romantic gestures weren’t really Alex’s style. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by coming on too strong. Especially on the first date. Flowers were more of a second date kind of thing, I reasoned. Maybe even third?

How the fuck would you know? You’ve never been on a date in your entire life…

Just one more way that my father had let me down. A man should know how to woo someone special. When to bring flowers or chocolate; when to steal a kiss.

Goddammit.

“I just have to take things slow, and let Alex lead the way,”

I announced to the still car.

Alex wants a strong, forceful man like Tom to tell him what to do… you’re just pathetic.

I took in a shuddering breath and gripped the steering wheel harder to stop my hands from trembling.

7:49… tick, tock.

“I just need a minute!”

I cried, startling even myself.

My pulse rate pounding in my ears made it difficult to hear anything else, and my vision started to wobble at the edges of my peripheral. I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to clear the fuzziness.

“It’s fine. Everything is o-okay,”

I told myself unconvincingly. I quickly grabbed my phone and put in my PIN to bring up my locked photo album. I scrolled through my Top 5 favorite snaps of Alex to calm myself down. Focusing on small details to ground myself, just like I’d once read about in an online article. When my pulse had returned to a reasonable rate, I wiped my sweaty palms down the front of my jeans and got out of the car.

This is it.

I walked up the steps towards the front entrance of the estate, the old wood planks creaking under my feet. It might complain, but the centuries-old wood held firm in its place. You know what they say about houses having good bones? That was Westing House. The old gal was a little worse for wear, but she was just waiting to make her grand return to society.

Comforted somewhat by the familiar, hulking presence of the house, I softly rapped the back of my knuckles against the thick oak of the front door.

After 30 seconds or so, I worried I hadn’t knocked loud enough and Alex hadn't heard it. Maybe he was still upstairs. I didn’t want to bang on the door again, as that seemed aggressive. Perhaps I should just text him and tell him I’m here?

I knocked again, deciding I would give him a call or text if he didn’t answer that time… but he did!

Alex looked like a dream. He was wearing skin-tight black jeans and a black v-neck sweater that afforded me a sinful tease of milky collarbones. He had gotten his hair cut, I assumed, while he was at the mall. It was nice and tight around the sides and back of his head, and left longer on top, so his curls tumbled down over his forehead. He looked stunning, even if I did prefer his hair longer. His eyebrows had the faintest bit of redness underneath them. He must have gotten them waxed.

He did all of this for you!

I felt like I was made of helium, and that, at any moment, the butterflies in my stomach were going to flap hard enough for me to just float up into the sky.

“I think I’m a little early,”

I finally managed to say.

He smiled and shook his head. “It’s f-f-fine.”

Oh! He’s nervous…

Alex grabbed his coat and locked the door behind him. I hurried down the porch steps ahead of him to open his door. That earned me a smile, and Alex hopped up into the idling SUV.

He’s in my car! He’s smiling at me!

I had enough excited energy to kickflip myself over the car, but managed to content myself with a quick trot.

I climbed into the car and looked over at him. “So… um, what do you think you would like to do this evening, Alex?”

Oh my god, just saying his name out loud to him was sending bolts of electricity through my nervous system. I already had a pretty good idea of where I wanted to take him for dinner, but the last thing I wanted to do was anything he didn’t. So, I figured the best thing to do was to ask him. Communication was, after all, the most important ingredient in a strong and healthy relationship. Might as well start now.

Alex shrugged, and bashfully turned his face away to look out the window. “I’m not s-s-sure.”

He was the most beautiful thing that had ever lived, and I found myself yearning to worship his creator.

“I thought maybe we could get something to eat if you are feeling hungry? There’s a great steakhouse on the north end of the city. I thought it would be nice to go there, but I don’t like to assume that you will enjoy something just because I like it.”

Alex opened his mouth to speak, “I…”

Fuck, he hates the idea. Stupid…

“I mean, if you are hungry, we don’t have to get steak! We can get whatever. I like Chinese, too. Or anything, really…”

STOP TALKING!

“...Shit, I just cut you off, didn’t I? I feel like I’m already blowing it. To be completely honest…”

Please don’t be completely honest. Just stop speaking, you weak ass little bitch.

“I’m very nervous. It’s been a while since I went out with a really cute guy.”

Yeah, so far back that it happened in your past life… you fucking dildo.

Alex glanced over at me, giggled (giggled! Kill me now), and said, “I like steak.”

I felt like my throat was closing up as I pulled the car out onto the inky-black pavement. We drove in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Alex had his gaze straight out in front of him, and I cursed the streetlights being out. It was hard to see him in just the soft glow of the dashboard lights.

Say something…

I cleared my throat and tried to swallow the lump that had formed there. “How long have you been in Emberford?”

“A-a-all my l-l-life.”

“I wasn’t born here, but I’ve been here for years. Gotta love the city life, right?”

Gotta love the city life? What the fuck are you, a real estate agent?

“H-how long have y-you been a f-f-ireman?”

Three years is what we decided…

We chatted conversationally, getting to know each other as I drove us to the restaurant. I told him the backstory I’d rehearsed no less than a thousand times. I hated lying to him, but I wanted him to feel safe and secure. My real backstory was traumatic, and I didn’t want anything to be triggering for him, having grown up the way he had. My biography sucked, but his was far worse.

We talked about how my parents had owned a horse ranch up in Montana, and how I’d always been a country boy at heart. That part was true.

I joked and did a terrible impression of a yeehaw accent, making Alex laugh and cover his mouth with his hand. I wanted to record the sound and make it my ringtone.

I already hated myself for my next question, but it would have been suspicious for me to have not asked, given the subject of our conversation.

“What about your parents? Got a good relationship?”

The guilt of asking turned my stomach and I gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter, knowing Alex had now been put in the position of having to explain the unfortunate events of his childhood.

He answered easily, telling me he was an orphan and had aged out of the foster care system. We chatted some more, and, before I knew it, we had arrived. The parking lot was a madhouse, but we managed to snag a spot. I offered my arm to Alex as we got out of the car, and he took it!

I held the door open for him, and followed him into the crowded restaurant lobby. Not being able to stand the fact that I was no longer touching him, I couldn’t stop myself from placing my hand on the small of his back as he passed.

You’re getting awfully handsy…

But Alex didn’t seem to mind. I led him towards the hostess stand. I could his muscles tense up as we made our way through the crowd of folks waiting to be seated. He hated crowds. With every step, I was second-guessing my decision to bring him there. Fuck, could I have been more inconsiderate?

“Hi. Two, please.”

Without looking up from her tiny computer, the hostess replied, “It’s going to be at least an hour before I can get you seated. Did you want to wait?”

Idiot! You should have made a reservation!

But I hadn’t known if this was what Alex had wanted to do yet. I glanced over at him.

He’s uncomfortable! You can’t make him stand here in the middle of all these people for an hour! GET HIM OUT OF HERE!

“How long for a to-go order?”

***

Alex looked surprised as I backed my SUV up to the wall on the top level of the old stadium’s parking garage. I silently hoped I hadn’t made him uncomfortable by secluding him like this. It was dark, and damn-near abandoned, making it an amazing spot to look out over the expansive city lights.

I hit the button to release the hatch and got out of the car to open Alex’s door. He looked up at me and hesitated for a split-second, but stepped out.

“Wow,”

he exclaimed as I closed his door and he took in the view I’d brought him all the way up here to see.

I let him stand there and enjoy the panorama for a moment while I went around to the back of the car and folded down the seats to make room for us to climb inside the trunk. This might not have been the best back-up plan, but I prayed I could still show him a nice evening. And that my lack of preparedness hadn’t already chased him away.

You absolute baboon, no one wants to eat a steak dinner in the back of a stranger’s car!

Alex made his way around the car and I smiled, gesturing for him to climb into the back. Once we were both seated crisscross in the trunk, I left the boot open to enjoy the view, while also reaching over him to crank the heater up so we would’t freeze.

“Is this okay?”

I asked, handing him the styrofoam container that housed his meal.

Alex nodded, taking the container from my hand. The tips of his fingers brushed against mine as he took it, sending shivers shooting up my arm.

I quickly recovered and dug through the other bag to get him some utensils.

Fuck!

“Uh…”

I started with a nervous chuckle, “It doesn't look like they gave us any silverware.”

Your faux pas are akin to the Hindenburg Disaster…

Despite the inexplicable travesty the date had turned into, Alex gifted me with a soft smile, picked up his steak with his hands, and took a bite out of it.

We made our way through the meal like a couple of cavemen, getting the worst of the mess off our hands with some hand sanitizer and napkins.

“This isn’t exactly how I pictured us having dinner this evening, but I’m really happy you decided to come out with me,”

I ventured.

“This was p-perfect,”

he said softly, not turning his head away from the view. “The city looks so b-beautiful from up here.”

“I wish you could see the stars, though. In Montana, there’s no light pollution. It feels like you can see the whole Milky Way on a clear night.”

“That m-must b-be amazing! “

“It is. Do you like to go camping?”

“Sure.”

“I haven’t been in years. What’s your favorite thing to do out there?”

“S-s’mores,”

Alex answered after a moment's pause.

I imagined being out in the middle of the forest, a roaring campfire popping embers into the night sky as Alex and I sat close to each other, a shared blanket draped across our shoulders. When we kissed, I would be able to taste the marshmallow and chocolate on his lips.

My phone buzzing pulled me out of my fantasy. I apologized to Alex for the interruption as I checked it.

Jason: Pull through…

I stared down at the screen, momentarily frozen as my brain sorted through the various implications of the text I’d just received. What it meant, and what was about to happen next.

I noticed Alex looking over at me, and I hastily closed the message. “Shit, it’s the chief. Half of Station Five has COVID, and they’re sending a bunch of guys from Twelve over to cover. I need to head in.”

A brief look of disappointment flashed across Alex’s face, but he quickly recovered, smiling lopsidedly. “Someone has t-to be there t-to s-save people’s lives...”

Back at Westing House, I walked Alex to his front door. “It wasn’t exactly what I had pictured for our evening, but I had a wonderful time getting to know you tonight, Alex.”

He was looking up at me, his head cocked slightly to the side; that blush of maroon blooming across his cheeks. “I’d love to see you again. I promise I won’t make you eat in my trunk again.”

I finished with a playful wink.

Alex laughed, “I would like that t-t-too. And I’m s-s-orry you have to work all n-night now.”

I shrugged. “Kinda comes with the job.”

I inhaled slowly through my nose and took a step closer to him. Alex straightened his posture and looked up at me with his eyes half-lidded, his neck and collarbone reddening as I entered his space.

And in keeping with my fireman theme…

“Your lips look cold, Alex. I think we should warm them up right away before hypothermia kicks in.”

“H-how would you s-s-suggest w-we d-d-do that?”

Alex asked, his voice breaking as his breath hitched.

I could feel every single nerve ending inside my body fraying, and every hair on my body was standing straight up as my skin pulsed with electricity. “There’s only one way…”

I whispered before finally closing the gap between us.

I softly brushed my lips across his. My heart stopped beating, and the world fell silent all around us. I kissed him again, adding more pressure. Alex let out the smallest breadth of a moan and parted his lips.

I deepened the kiss at his invitation and tasted his mouth for the first time as our tongues danced, and he stepped up on his tip-toes to loop his arms around my neck.

Oh, baby. I’ve waited so long… and it was worth it.

Just like that, I was drowning, but in the best way possible. The waves were crashing over my head and the depths were dark. All I could feel was the heat coming off Alex. All I could taste was his mouth. My fingers itched to pull him close, and I swear that it took an act of God to restrain myself from doing it. I wanted to catalog every nanosecond, frame-by-frame. His scent, his warmth, his kiss. I never wanted to come up for air.

I don’t know how long we stood there, but when my erection started getting uncomfortable in the confines of my briefs, I knew I needed to get out of here before I lost control.

Somehow, I gathered the Herculean strength to pull away from his kiss, almost losing my resolve as I watched him chase my lips before opening his eyes.

“Goodnight, Alex,”

I told him, brushing my thumb across his cheek before walking back to the car.