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October

C arson has been needier ever since the season started. He’s been apprehensive about leaving me alone at home, but he won’t say why. It’s not like I haven’t noticed the upgraded security system, the way he’s checking the locks every night that he’s home, and how when we’re on FaceTime, he asks me if I’ve checked them. But he hasn’t said what’s brought on the sudden fear and heightened his anxieties.

Staring back at my reflection in the full length mirror, I run my hands over the stitching of the black and lime green Wolverines jersey. I turn around, and with the claw clip holding my hair up, it’s easy to spot “WILDER” across my back. This afternoon is Carson’s first regular season home game, and it will also be the first game I wear his jersey to. I’m oddly nervous to have him see me in it.

Taking a deep breath, I make my way down the stairs to grab my purse and keys from the front entry table. I’ve just pulled the strap of my bag over my shoulder when I realize I left my phone on the nightstand upstairs.

“Shit,” I murmur to myself. I’m already going to be late, and I don’t want to worry Kenna.

Running up the steps, I grab my phone off the charger when it vibrates in my hand in rapid succession with incoming text notifications.

Unknown:

Hello, my beautiful Belle.

You thought you could just ruin my life and then trance off to a foreign country with another man, and there wouldn’t be consequences? It’s like you never knew me at all. But I know that can’t be the case. You know perfectly well what I’m capable of.

*Picture message attachments*

My heart sinks as I click on a blurred photo of me and Carson naked in the pool in Florence. The second photo attached is of me and Carson in our home library. Even though it is a bad angle and the blinds are in the way, it’s still very clear what’s going on. Tears sting my eyes as a lump forms in my throat.

Fear like I’ve never known slithers its way down my spine as the hair on the back of my neck stands on end.

Unknown:

You have two days to pack your shit and leave him like you did me or this picture, and the accompanying videos, will be released to the media. Don’t fucking test me, Dakota.

With shaky hands, I try to type out a reply, but have to start and retype it several times.

Me:

Aaron, you’re not supposed to contact me.

What are you going to do? Call your lawyer? I wonder what Theo will think of his son’s name being dragged through the mud because of a stupid whore.

Tick, tock . . . the clock is running. If you’re not out of his house in two days, the videos I have will be released to every website and news station.

You’re not willing to risk your golden boy’s squeaky-clean reputation are you? Or have you really become that reckless?

I release the sob that was stuck in my throat.

Me:

And if I leave? How do I know you won’t release them anyway to seek revenge?

Unknown:

If you leave him, that’s enough for me. You don’t deserve happiness after you took everything from me. Do as I say, and I’ll send you the original files and all copies to your mom’s house. And don’t think I’ll stop at the footage. Remember that little fender bender your beloved Wilders were in? Who do you think hired the photographer that crashed into them?

At this rate, nothing he says or does should surprise me, but I’m shocked that Aaron would go so far as hurting Carson and Cadence. They’re innocent in all of this. I don’t know what his end goal is or what this game he’s playing is, but I know him well enough to know he’d never turn the photos and videos over so easily. But until I know more, I have to play along. My stomach churns, and I know I’m going to be sick as I type my reply.

Me:

Consider it done.

Unknown:

Oh, this should be fun. I’ll be watching, Belle.

Shivers of fear race up my spine knowing he’s been watching us all this time. I won’t allow Aaron to ruin Carson’s life or steal his shine. If upending my life can save him, I’d do it without question—I’d do anything for Carson. Even if that means obliterating my heart in the process.

Carson

Surprised I didn’t find her by the fireplace, I jog up the stairs in search of Dakota. It’s a cold October night, the perfect excuse to curl up by the fire together, which I plan to do once I check on her and make sure she’s okay.

After Mack told me Dakota never showed up to our game tonight, I raced home right after our postgame press. I was surprised to hear she hadn’t been there and have been anxious ever since, considering Dakota told me before I left that she couldn’t wait to cheer me on wearing my jersey for the first time.

There’s noise coming from the bedroom that I can’t quite make out.

“Dream Girl, are you okay?” I ask before freezing in the doorway of our bedroom when I see a frazzled Dakota hectically tossing clothes into a suitcase.

“What are you doing, Austen?”

“Packing. I-I just need some time.”

My heart sinks at her words and her frantic tone.

“Time? Time for what?” I question, panic lacing my words.

“T-to think.” She can’t even look at me as she continues to shove clothes and toiletries into her bag.

“I’m so confused. What do you need time to think about?” I bite out the question in a frustrated voice I don’t recognize as my own.

She winces, and it just about kills me.

“I’m sorry for raising my voice. Where are you going?” I ask again after taking a deep breath.

“Home. Just home,” she monosyllabically replies as I catch a glimpse of her tear-stricken face.

“Home? But this is your home.”

“No, it’s your home. I’m going back to Texas, Carson.”

“Why are you doing this? What happened? Please talk to me,” I plead.

“Don’t you get it?” she questions. “This is all too much for me and far too soon. I shouldn’t have agreed to move in. I shouldn’t have jumped head-first into a relationship so soon after my life was shattered.”

“B-but we love each other,” I shudder. “We made promises, Austen. Promises to start a life together. To talk to one another. To be partners. Don’t quit on us. Talk to me. Let me hear what’s causing your hesitation or fears.”

She turns her back to me and closes her suitcase, bracing her hands on it as she hangs her head and sighs. “Carson, I’m sorry if this is hurting you, that isn’t my intention. I just think I made a mistake and I need time to think about my decisions. My mama said I could stay with her for a while, so that’s what I’m going to do. I talked to Kenna already, and she said your mama would help her with Cadence.”

I smooth my hand over my chest to ease the ache that’s spreading. “So that’s it? How come I don’t get a say in any of this? What if I hadn’t raced home tonight? Would you have just left without saying a word?”

“Yes! Don’t you get it?”

“No, I don’t. I don’t understand any of this, Dakota,” I choke out.

“I can’t do this. I can’t ruin you too—I’m broken,” she cries.

“Austen, if you’re broken, what the hell does that make me?” I counter. “Is this about the car? If it is, I’ll take it back. Carol is still in the garage. If you want to drive her, let’s just get snow tires for winter. And if it’s really snowy, you can take my truck.”

“It’s not the car, Carson. It’s everything else. I mean, just the fact that I’m seven years older than you should’ve been enough of a deterrent. We’re not good for each other.” She sinks down to sit on the bed with her head in her hands. Her shoulders shake as her muffled sobs echo throughout the room.

Closing the distance between us, I fall to my knees in front of her, begging her to tell me what happened to change her mind. “We’re so good together, Austen. Please tell me why you’re really doing this. What happened?”

Taking a shaky breath, she looks up at me through tear stricken eyes and says, “You’ve got to let me go, Carson. I have to do this. Please. If you love me, you have to let me go.”

My chest cracks down the center as my heart spills out and falls to her feet. This isn’t how it’s meant to end—it was never meant to end at all. I’m not supposed to lose the girl of my dreams for a reason I don’t even know.

But the thing is, I do love her. I love Dakota so fucking much, I have no choice but to let the love of my life walk away. My stomach churns as tears cascade down my cheeks.

Closing my eyes, I drop my head and attempt to plead with her one last time. “Tell me this isn’t real, Austen. Tell me this is just another nightmare that I’ll wake up from with you in my arms right where you belong,” I croak.

With shaky fingers, Dakota cups my face in her hands. “Look at me,” she whispers, and when I do, I can’t help but wipe the tears streaming down her cheeks over the bow of her upper lip.

Bringing her forehead to rest against mine, she murmurs, “I am not being cliché or lying when I tell you, it’s not you, it’s me. This is my problem, and I just need time to figure this out, Carson. I promise you I will fix this.”

She kisses my forehead and I can’t stop the quivering of my chin or the whimper that escapes realizing this could be the last time I touch her like this intimately.

“I thought we were a team. I thought you loved me,” I say as I stand on unsteady legs.

“I’ll never stop loving you,” she sobs as she stands as well. “I just need to go, Carson. Let me go.”

So I do.

I stand by as she gathers her bags before heading downstairs. And when she closes the front door behind her, I sink to the floor of the entryway, wondering if I’ll ever experience agony more crushing than this.

With what little strength I have left in my limbs, I pull my phone from my pocket and dial the only other person besides Dakota I’d allow to see me like this.

“Hello?” she answers.

“I need you,” I choke out.

“I’ll be right there,” she reassures.

My chest squeezes with a debilitating ache, and my head has already brought me under by the time McKenna opens my front door and finds me lying on the floor.

“I’m here,” she says, rubbing my back as I struggle to take air into my lungs.

When she sits me up and encourages me to lean my head between my knees, I can’t help but wonder what the point of it all even is.

“She’s gone,” I gasp between panted breaths, my chest heaves and cracks open all over again.

McKenna doesn’t say anything, she just holds me in her arms and remains the one constant I have in this life.