Page 68 of What He Doesn't Know

I knew who it was without looking, anyway.

“Hello?”

“Hey, babe,” Cameron said tentatively. “Are you okay? I just got home from the game and you aren’t here… and Jane is gone.”

“I’m fine, just went for a drive,” I lied. “I’m about to head back to the house now.”

“Oh, okay.” He paused, and guilt flooded me from the inside out, cooling my hot skin in a crashing wave. “Had to get out to clear your head for a while, huh?”

“Yeah…” I didn’t know what else to say. I wondered if he knew I was lying.

I wondered if he cared.

“I’m sorry. I should have skipped the game tonight. I won’t go to the one tomorrow, okay? We can… I don’t know. I’ll make dinner, and we can watch movies or something.”

“I have to go, don’t want to be on the phone while I’m driving,” I said quickly. “I’ll be home soon.”

I hung up before he could respond, the urge to vomit hitting me so strong I scrambled to my feet and ran to Reese’s bathroom. I slammed the door shut behind me, grappling at the toilet with clammy hands, but I only dry heaved.

Nothing came out, my body’s punishment for what I’d done. I’d have to sit with all of it — the guilt, the betrayal, the utter despair of wanting Reese, even still.

He knocked on the bathroom door and I shook my head violently, flushing the toilet even though nothing was in it before I stood and ripped the door open again.

“I have to go.”

“Charlie.”

Reese followed me through the house as I zipped up my pants and pulled my hair into a low bun at the nape of my neck. I swiped my coat off the back of his couch, releasing one corner of our fort in the process. I pulled my coat on hastily, wrapping my scarf without care around my neck and holding my hat in one hand as I ripped one of the sheets from the fort to find Jane’s cage beneath it.

“Please, just wait a second. Talk to me.”

“I can’t. I have to go.” My hand was already on the door knob when Reese slid between me and the exit, bare chest heaving, eyes wild as he forced me to look at him.

“Damn it, Charlie. Don’t do this. Don’t just walk out of here like you regret everything.”

I needed to throw up. I needed to leave.

“I’m married.”

“I know. I know, and I’m sorry, but —”

“This was a mistake, Reese!” I screamed the words louder than I meant to, and I clapped the hand holding my hat hard over my mouth, shaking my head as tears flooded my eyes.

He just watched me, eyes flicking between mine as the pain from what I’d said marred his face.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Please,” I screamed again, the sound of my voice muffled through the tears. “Let me go. Please. I have to go. Let me go.”

I yanked the door knob and Reese stepped aside, letting me through. I didn’t look back. Not when a sob choked through me in his front yard, or when I placed Jane in the passenger seat, or when I slid behind the wheel, swiping at my face frantically and telling myself on repeat to just breathe.

I threw my car into reverse as soon as it started, peeling out of his driveway with my heart pounding against the confines of my rib cage. I could barely see through the tears. I could barely hear myself think.

What have I done?

What have I done?

What have I done?