Page 35 of What He Doesn't Know
It had been a long week, even though I’d taken three days off. I’d faked sick for the first time in my life, taking those days just to be with myself — to reconnect. I’d had so many questions when I woke up that morning after happy hour, questions about how I’d acted with Reese, about what I’d felt with him, and, more pressingly, what I’d felt with Cameron when I’d gotten home. So, I took the first half of the week to think, to figure out what all of it meant.
Cameron had been worried at first, but I assured him I was fine. I think part of him knew, too, that I was feeling a bit lost, a bit out of touch. Spending those days in the garden, in my library, cleaning and going through items on our to-do list that I’d ignored for so long — it was exactly what I needed. And now, on Sunday morning, on the brink of a new week, I felt refreshed.
And warm. I was sowarmwith Cameron’s arm around me, my head on his chest, his fingertips drawing lazy circles on my shoulder.
For the first time in a long time, it seemed like everything would be okay.
“Can we dance today?” I asked, leaning up on one elbow to look at Cameron. It was a cloudy, gray day, the sun struggling to break through. The way it filtered through our window cast us both in a cool light, and it was one of those days I didn’t want to leave the bed at all.
“I have to work, sweetheart,” he said, but his voice was tender, his eyes soft. He swept my hair back from my face, thumb tracing the line of my jaw. “But, tonight. Let me get this done and we can dance tonight.”
“Promise?”
“Would it make you happy?” he asked. “To dance with me tonight?”
“It would.”
Cameron gave me a lazy smile, leaning up long enough to kiss my nose. “Then we’ll dance.”
And that right there —thatwas why Sundays were my favorite.
I left Cameron to his work for the rest of the day, spending most of mine by the fire with a new book I’d picked up at the local bookstore the day before. I paused only long enough to fix us lunch, and to take Jane and Edward out of their cages for a while. I let them fly around our bedroom, all the doors and windows locked, and they’d always fly right back to me, chirping away their thanks for the chance to spread their wings. It always made me laugh to watch them fly, the two of them always intertwined in some way, zooming in and out of each other’s paths.
They were in love, and even given the chance to fly in opposite directions, to put space between them, they always chose to stay together.
When evening started to fall, I slipped inside my library to put my newly finished book on the shelf. My eyes caught on the copy ofAnna Karenina,the sight of it making my stomach flip just as my phone buzzed in my pocket. My brother’s name and smiling face lit up the screen, and I smiled, dropping down into my reading chaise before answering.
“Well, isn’t this a nice Sunday surprise?”
“Hey, sis,” Graham said, and my heart sighed with happiness at the sound of his voice. “Got some time to catch up with your knucklehead brother who really sucks at making phone calls?”
We hadn’t spoken in a few weeks, not since he and Christina had been down for Christmas and New Year’s, and I didn’t realize how much I’d missed him until that exact moment I heard his voice again.
I chuckled, kicking my feet up on the cushion in front of me. “Always. Tell me everything. How have you been? How’s Christina?”
“I’ve been fine, and other than having to deal with my annoying ass, Christina seems to be surviving, too.”
“Barely, I’m sure.”
“Oh, she’s just skating by,” Graham agreed. “How’s school?”
“It’s good,” I said, eyes trailing over the books lining my shelves. “There’s a new teacher in town, which I’m sure you’ve heard about.”
“I did! He called me after the night he had dinner with you guys at Mom and Dad’s. That’s so crazy that he’s back in Mount Lebanon.” Graham paused. “Never thought I’d see that day.”
“That makes two of us.”
“Is he… is he okay? I mean, does he seem any different? Since everything happened?”
There were so many loaded questions behind the ones he asked, and for the first time since I left school Friday afternoon, I was forced to think about the one person I was trying not to.
Avoiding Reese had been easy when I’d just stayed home from school, but once I was back, it was impossible. I could still close my eyes and feel his hand on my elbow, see his eyes begging mine not to push him away.
But I’d spent all weekend with Cameron, and then the rest of the week with myself, reconnecting and dissecting every single thought and feeling. All of that led back to the fact that I couldn’t be close with Reese — not without feeling like I was doing something wrong. Besides, Cameron and I had talked that Saturday morning after happy hour, had agreed to spend more time together and work on getting back to the way we used to be.
Before.
Graham asking me if Reese was okay almost made me laugh, because the answer was too complicated to convey in one word. The truth was, I wasn’t really sure if he was okay — with being back in Mount Lebanon, with the loss of his family, with starting his new job.