Page 9 of Welcome to Ero-TEA-Ca: We’re Open!

Cassandra

“ I t’s been a while since you’ve called for an emergency session, Cassandra.”

Cass crossed one leg over the other. “I know, and I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologising for, exactly?”

Ugh, Cass hated this, but she’d sworn to herself to keep growing and evolving after she and Kendal divorced. The only way that was possible was by talking to a professional.

Dr Herman was a pleasant woman. It took Cass a while to open up to her, but over the past three years they’d made some significant progress. The only thing Cass still struggled with was the initial delving into her feelings as soon as she sat down. It felt foreign and uncomfortable.

“Fine, I’m not sorry. I needed to talk to you because I’m struggling lately.”

Dr Herman mirrored Cass’s position. The only difference was the good doctor had a notebook and pen. “Elaborate.”

“A new shop is opening next door.”

“In the space you wanted to buy?”

“Yes,” Cass grumbled. It was still a sore point. “The owner is opening a tea shop.”

“That sounds nice.”

“An erotic tea shop that sells…toys and things.”

“And you’re unhappy about that?”

Cass’s face flushed. “Well, yes. Of course I’m unhappy. It’s…it’s crude and…and…”

“Cassandra, take a breath.”

Cass fell into a breathing exercise Dr Herman had shown her early on in their sessions. “I’m okay.”

“Carry on when you feel ready.”

Where did she start? Ever since she found out Harriet’s shop would open, Cass felt off and out of control, and she couldn’t put a finger on why.

All she knew was her behaviour had escalated.

She’d really fudged up yesterday. If she’d truly thought something illegal was going on, she’d have gone straight to the police, not the council.

Her intentions had only been to cause Harriet trouble.

“If an establishment like that opens, it’ll change the dynamic of the street. Who knows what kind of people we’ll attract. I’ve worked too hard to develop a stellar reputation to have it marred by…by people like Harriet Kirkwell.”

“Harriet Kirkwell is the new proprietor?”

“Yes. She’s young and bubbly, and clearly a liberal hippy.”

Did Dr Herman just smirk?

“Okay, Cassandra. Let’s break this down.”

“Sure. But this time can you just tell me what my problem is, so I don’t have to spend all day trying to figure it out through your cleverly worded questions?”

That did earn Cass a small smile.

“You know that’s not how this works.”

Cass huffed, “It was worth a try.”

“From the little you’ve said, I’ve picked up two threads. Let’s follow them individually and see where we end up.”

Cass nodded. It already felt good knowing Dr Herman had a clue where to start. The pre-menopause idea was still on the table, though. “Ready to go down the rabbit hole, Doc.”

“Let’s start with your worries about the reputation of the café.”

Scratching the back of her neck, Cass tried to pull her thoughts into something understandable. “Well, surely people who go to erotic tea shops…”

“Are people who like to drink tea and talk about sex?”

“Yes. A tea shop is one thing. I think that would actually be a nice addition to the street. But why the need for all the X-rated stuff? What kinds of people like that sort of thing? And why do they need to push it in others’ faces?”

Dr Herman cocked her head. “But how does that affect the café’s reputation? You won’t be involved with the tea shop. It’s a completely separate business, in no way associated with you or Kendal.”

“The overall reputation of the street matters.”

“The overall reputation isn’t what’s upsetting you. It’s the idea the café could be affected. You’re feeling out of control and imagining the worst-case scenario.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Cass shot. “The café is the one good thing I’ve done. The one good thing that works as it should.”

“Okay, let’s pause there for a second. You’re referring to your marriage and subsequent divorce. No need to beat around the bush on that one.”

Cass appreciated it. “I just don’t want to fail at something else.”

Dr Herman paused for a second. “Cassandra, you know that’s not what happened. Tell me why you and Kendal divorced. The facts only.”

The loose thread on the arm of the couch became very interesting. After pulling it several times and causing a small hole that made Cass’s heart rate increase by several beats per second, she finally looked at Dr Herman, who sat as patient as ever. “Kendal didn’t want children, and I did. Do.”

“And…”

Cass rolled her eyes. “And something like that isn’t a compromise.”

“No, it’s not. You and Kendal spent months discussing it.”

“I know. But maybe I could live without kids.”

Dr Herman placed her pad and pen down. “Are you still in love with Kendal?”

“I’ll always love her.”

“But?”

“She’s my best friend.”

“But do you still love her romantically?”

Cass dropped her head. “No. And I think she’s seeing someone.”

“Ah. And when did you discover that?” Cass became overly interested in the plant to her right. Was it an Aloe?

“Cassandra…”

“A few months ago. A couple of days after I found out Mr Beedle had sold the shop to someone else.” Cass didn’t need to see the doctor’s reaction. “I know, I know.”

“You know what , Cassandra?”

“That I’m reacting to a change of circumstance and not dealing with it very well.”

“Elaborate.”

Oh, for crying out loud. She may be forty-one, but right now Cass just wanted to stamp her feet and throw a hissy fit.

“Even though Kendal and I are divorced, we have a routine. Our lives are still inextricably linked, and if she’s seeing someone, that will inevitably change our dynamic, and that scares me.

What if this woman is the love of her life and Kendal decides she wants out of the business to go travel the world, or live in Aberdeen?

” Why Aberdeen had come to mind, Cass didn’t know. Either way, it was nowhere near Oxford.

“Has Kendal mentioned any of that to you?”

“No. She’s said nothing, which makes it worse.”

“How?”

“Because it means she’s worried how I’ll react, right?”

Dr Herman shrugged. “Or, it has nothing to do with you, and Kendal wants some time to figure out where the relationship is going. She has that right.”

“Of course she does. But it will affect me…the café.”

“Time to take a step back from you, Cassandra. Try to look at this solely from Kendal’s point of view.”

This was one of Cass’s issues, still. When her anxiety reared its ugly head, she found it hard to look past her own nose.

But that was what the doctor was for. Now, with a few questions and well-timed words, Cass could put herself and her ego to one side and see the situation from another perspective.

“You’re right. I know Ken. She loves the café as much as me. She’ll tell me about this person when she’s ready. I hope.”

“She will.”

Dr Herman had counselled them both at the end of their relationship. Sometimes Cass wondered if the doctor was the reason they could move past the hurt and forge a new relationship based on mutual respect, love, and friendship.

“But understanding that, doesn’t change me not wanting an erotic tea shop opening right next door.”

“True,” the doctor began. “That’s the second thread we need to follow. One that you’re not going to like.”

Cass didn’t especially like any of it. “Okay. What’s your theory?”

“It comes back to a subject we’re yet to fully dissect: your mother.”

Fuck.

Only a bag of Maltesers and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s could lift Cass from her horrendous mood.

The doctor had really pushed her, far beyond her comfort level, but Cass knew she needed it.

Talking about her mum in detail was long overdue, and Cass had avoided it to the best of her ability.

But if she really wanted to grow, she had to face the tough stuff.

Opening up about her childhood was hard and there were very few people who knew about Cass’s struggles when it came to her mum. Lolita Beaufort was a tornado of a person. She was full of life and love, which, for most people, sounded great. Not for Cass.

Cassandra had always been a reserved person.

She needed time to adjust to situations and people.

Simple things that were water off a duck’s back for most gave Cass anxiety.

Eventually, she’d process and acclimatise, but more often than not, people, including her mum, thought she was being ridiculous or overly sensitive.

That wasn’t the worst of it, though. Lolita was a sexually vivacious woman.

She was a single mum, but that didn’t stop her from having men over.

Cass once referred to their front door as a conveyor belt for horny blokes.

If it hadn’t been for the fact that kids called Lolita all manner of nasty things and treated Cass like a leper, maybe Cass wouldn’t have found her mum’s love life so traumatising.

Now, as an adult, Cass could understand the kids at school were just being arseholes.

If it weren’t jabs about her mum, they’d have found something else to pick on Cass about.

She was too different. As an adult, she could also understand her mum had every right to see who she wanted and when.

Lolita was sex positive. She expected to be treated with respect and no man entered their house if he wasn’t a good guy.

It wasn’t like Cass had been exposed to creeps.

Lolita was a great mum, who happened to have a high sex drive and didn’t see having a child as a reason to stop living her own life.

Back then, of course, the idea of a woman being sexually liberated was frowned upon. Their neighbours thought she was a cheap tart. Lolita was nothing of the sort. But in the court of public opinion, the truth rarely mattered.

Their house was a living embodiment of everything that made Cass uncomfortable.

They had books on sex. Art that would make a nun blush adorned their walls.

Lolita had no issues talking about sex with Cass.

Not Lolita’s own experiences, of course.

That boundary was never crossed. But she felt it was her job to open Cass’s mind to the wonders of the human body.

All it did was make Cass retreat and hate everything to do with sex.

Cass knew she wasn’t exactly adventurous, but Kendal had never complained about their love life throughout their marriage. People called it vanilla, but what was wrong with that? Why did sex have to be vulgar and in your face?

She knew there had been times Kendal wanted to try new things, but it was like a wall slammed down and Cass couldn’t cope, which in turn caused Kendal to stop asking.

She was so lovely about it and never forced the issue.

Kendal was one of only a handful of people who understood where Cass’s issues came from and didn’t expect Cass to “get over it.”

“The oven is making a weird sound,” Kendal called the second Cass stepped into the café kitchen. “I’ve checked all the usual things, and I’m stumped. Should I call Sean to come and check it out?”

“Sure,” Cass answered, her head buzzing.

“Oh, Harriet stopped by earlier.”

Well, that got Cass’s attention. “What? Why?”

Kendal shut the oven door and came to stand by Cass, who leant against the counter, shoulders slumped. “I invited her for coffee the day we met and she came to collect. It was nice. She’s nice.”

“Right.”

“Hey,” Kendal said softly, gently knocking Cass’s shoulder. “What’s going on?”

Cass rubbed both hands down her face. “I just had a session with Dr Herman.”

“I didn’t know you were still seeing Herman.”

Cass shrugged. “I needed a chat.”

They fell quiet. The only sound was the hiss of the coffee machine in the other room. “You can talk to me, you know,” Kendal tacked on. “About anything.”

“Are you seeing someone?” Cass blurted, and then immediately cringed.

Kendal chuckled. “Ah, you figured it out, huh?” Another shrug. Jesus, was she fifteen again? “Cassandra, look at me, please.”

“I’m being ridiculous, I know,” she groaned, turning to look at her ex-wife, who was wearing a sincere smile.

“You’re not. I wasn’t keeping it from you, Cass. It’s relatively new and I wanted to see if it was going somewhere before I introduced you.”

“I shouldn’t have made you tell me. Ugh, Herman would be so disappointed.” Cass chuckled. “Sorry, Ken.”

“Don’t sweat it. Come on. Let’s have a coffee and talk. About anything, or nothing. Up to you.”

Knowing the café was in safe hands with Billie, their resident hipster, Cass felt okay with taking a bit more time off. Plus, Kendal was owed an explanation for Cass’s recent behaviour.

“I may have felt a little spirally lately.”

“Elaborate,” Kendal said seriously.

“No! It’s creepy you’re so good at mimicking our therapist.”

Kendal smirked. “I practise in the shower sometimes.”

“Of course you do. Anyway…”

Cass did herself proud by opening up and spilling all her inner thoughts. She even managed to get through the conversation she’d had with the doctor about her mum. Kendal squeezed her hand at that point.

“So, now you know it’s less about Harriet and her shop, and more about…”

“My issues.”

“ No , your experience. Are you ready to give Ero-Tea-Ca a chance?”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Ken.”

“Alright, alright. But how about you at least come to this friends and family opening on Monday?”

“You can go for us.”

Cass might have had a breakthrough with Dr Herman, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. Going to the soft opening sounded horrendous. Cass couldn’t think of anything more humiliating and uncomfortable than spending the evening in a tea shop with naughty art, toys, and God knows what else.

No way. Out of the question.