Page 21 of Wayfinder (The Outlander Book Club… in Space! #5)
“Deema and Aqsa and a couple of other harem girls. Why?”
“How do you think they will react when we leave? Will they cover for us?” A crease grew between Jutuk’s brows.
“I don’t think they’d cover for us, exactly, but they won’t question whatever excuse we give them,” I told him honestly.
“It’s not them I’m worried about, though.
The Baron will have servers, guards, and God knows who else roaming around the night of the dinner.
How are we going to get past them without someone raising a stink? ”
“Hmmm.” Jutuk finally made it to my side, but his only touch was the feather-light caress of his finger against my cheek before he walked past me and headed toward the storage area.
“What?” I asked, following.
“Jala showed me the schematics of the space station,” Jutuk grinned at me over his shoulder just before swinging open the large metal door.
The room was about as large as my bedroom back on earth. Shelves hugged the walls, filled with crates of alien flour, vegetables, and some odd alien cooking implements I’d never been able to figure out.
Jutuk paused in the center of the room, sliding away a stack of crates with the push of his foot and revealing a small square indention in the floor.
“This is a trapdoor that leads down to a secondary loading area.” He grinned at me, the amusement on his face vanishing as his eyes surveyed the remainder of the room, coming to land on a small area in the back.
“It’s a cot,” I admitted as his gaze focused on the small metal contraption piled with blankets and pillows. “Sometimes, I get so involved in the kitchen that I forget to sleep."
The golden eyes shifted back to me, the affection in his gaze making my blood boil.
“My beautiful, perfect Pearl.”
Jutuk pulled me close, his lips urgent and hungry. His hands roamed eagerly over my body, tracing every curve and dip before coming to rest on my breasts with a gentle squeeze.
The heat between us was palpable—a living, breathing thing fueled by desire that had been building for far too long.
I shifted my hips, pressing closer, and felt the weight of his need like an iron bar against my stomach.
I couldn’t help but wonder why Jutuk didn’t claim me last night instead of seeing only to my pleasure.
I squirmed against him and felt the heat of arousal throb against me, wanting me just as much as I wanted him.
“Jutuk, I want you.”
My words were barely a whisper against his lips, yet he jerked as though hearing a primal command he could not disregard.
At least until we heard the kitchen door open.
Jutuk froze, holding me tight against his chest as the sounds of a delivery echoed through the room.
Jutuk sighed into my hair as the movements of the unwelcome visitor faded away. “I think we need to pick this up when we have a bit more privacy.”
“I agree,” I murmured, sighing in disappointment.
I started toward the kitchen, making it as far as the door before Jutuk stopped me. His arms went around my waist to pull me back against his broad chest as he nuzzled my neck. I relaxed against him, feeling more content than I’d ever felt in my life.
“So....” I began hesitantly. I’d always been a bold woman.
You didn’t make it as far in my career as I had without a certain amount of chutzpah.
Yet, even knowing the words I wanted to say, my tongue found it difficult to wrap around the verbiage.
I wasn’t just risking my reputation in my kitchen. This time, I risked my heart.
“What happens after the rescue?”
“We rendezvous with the Bardaga.” Jutuk sounded confused, and I turned my head to smile at him. We discussed most of this last night, at least on a surface level.
“I know that. I was just thinking long term. You said I could stay on the Bardaga if I wanted.”
“Of course.” Jutuk grinned and kissed my cheek. “You can duel with Orzon to see who gets to be head chef.”
I laughed despite his obtuseness. “I’m not talking about that.” I felt as awkward as a teenager, but I had to know if I could risk my heart. “I mean about us.”
“Us?” Jutuk’s voice softened in a way that made my insides grow warm.
“We do make a great team.” I turned in his arms and linked my hands around his neck. As tall as I was, I still had to stand on tiptoe to reach his lips.
Jutuk’s warm lips pressed firmly against mine, dominating the kiss, and sending shivers down my spine.
His hunger for me was evident in the way he devoured my mouth, his hands gripping my waist tightly.
It was as if he couldn’t get enough of my taste, like a starving man at an all you could eat buffet.
My hands tangled in his hair as our tongues danced together. He pulled me closer, lifting me with ease until I was at eye level with him. My tight nipples pressed against the firm muscles of his chest, sending waves of pleasure through my body and I squirmed against him wanting more.
The faint rustling and clinking of utensils and pots came from the kitchen, a soft but distinct noise that brought us back to reality.
Deema’s voice called out my name, but Jutuk pressed a finger against my lips, admonishing my silence.
He held me aloft, pressed tight against his body until we heard the swish of the kitchen door announcing Deema’s departure.
“Am I keeping you from your work?” Jutuk murmured, his lips playing along the hairline at my temple.
“Not really,” I tilted my neck to allow him continued exploration. We need to finish our talk."
Jutuk raised his head, golden eyes affectionate but confused. “Talk?”
I sighed, recognizing the similarities between human and alien men when it came to heartfelt chats.
“About where we go from here.” I drew a deep breath and jumped.
“I guess what I’m asking is if what happened between us is the start of something.
.. if we’re going to stay together once we make it to the Bardaga. ”
“Would you wish that?” Jutuk watched me intently.
“Yes.”
And that was it.
That one simple word, escaping from my heart before my brain had a chance at censorship or doubt.
I’d fallen for Jutuk.
This was nothing like I’d felt for Donovan.
Nothing like I’d ever felt for anybody. There was something raw and instinctual to the way I felt about Jutuk.
His presence was essential, like the air I breathed or the rhythm of my heartbeat.
Never before had I experienced this intensity of emotion towards someone, and I knew with absolute certainty that it would never happen again.
He completed me in a way no one else ever could.
I loved him.
Jutuk’s hands cupped my face, his gaze intense as he studied the raw emotion flickering across my features. Slowly but purposefully, he leaned closer and pressed his lips against mine, our breaths mingling in a sweet, heady exchange.
“I am yours,” I breathed against his lips, my voice barely audible over the thudding of my heart.
But as soon as I said the words, Jutuk’s body tensed, and he pulled away, his expression clouded with conflict. I stumbled back a step, my knees growing weak.
“I need to scout the route of the access tunnel and make sure it’s clear.”
“Will I see you later?” The words fumbled to get off my tongue. My heart hammered with a mix of confusion and worry.
“Perhaps.” Jutuk jerked, nodded in my direction, and disappeared through the trapdoor.
Well, that couldn’t have been any clearer.
I felt like an idiot.
I had a strict rule... no hot men in the kitchen, but I let Jutuk get to me, and I’d done it again.
I’d let myself fall for a man who only wanted temporary pleasure.
How could I have been so stupid? So na?ve?
The warmth and comfort I felt in his presence just moments ago now seemed like a distant memory, replaced with regret and self-doubt.
I moved to the back of the storage room, sagging onto the cot.
My emotions were a tangled mess, caught between wanting to despise Jutuk for leading me on, yet being unable to raise any emotion for him other than the love that still burned in my veins.
Deep down, I knew it was my fault for being so foolishly idealistic and romantic.
Jutuk had only come to rescue and protect me.
Our intense circumstances led to a few pleasurable moments that I had twisted into some grand love story.
But I couldn’t help myself. He’d been so wonderful, and I’d fallen head over heels over the idea of being swept away by a brave hero in shining armor.
Idiot!
Despite the sharp pain stabbing through my chest, at least I could find some solace in the fact that I’d realized the truth before it went too far. I would not crumble under the weight of heartbreak again.
I was a freaking Michelin three-star chef, the best freaking chef in the fucking Universe.
If Jutuk didn’t want me, it was his loss.
Live and learn, my grandmother always said.
Well, I’d learned for good this time. Never again would I allow anyone to entice me to lower my defenses and risk my heart—no matter how damn hot, sweet, or utterly wonderful they were.
Yet even as my mind put up a strong front, my heart shattered, piece by jagged piece. I curled up on the cot, feeling more alone than the moment I woke up in the Baron’s harem and let the tears have their way.