Page 12 of Walking on Broken Paths

Chapter Ten

Jesse’s stomach was a furious mess of knots by the time he drove into the cemetery. Parker directed him to the section where his dad was to be buried, and when they arrived, Jesse parked on the side of the path, behind several cars that had beaten them there.

Parker didn’t waste a second—he was out the door before Jesse had turned off the engine.

But maybe that was how he needed to face the day. No hesitation, no second-guessing. Just do it and get it done.

Jesse, by contrast, inhaled deeply and clenched the steering wheel between tense fingers. “Send Parker a little strength today, Mikey. Okay?”

He could use a little too, but today wasn’t about him.

As usual, there was no answer. Just the ticking of the car engine as it cooled.

As he exited the car, a gust of wind nearly knocked him back. Otherwise, it was a sunny day that hovered somewhere near eighteen degrees Celsius, though it would get warmer as the day wore on.

The cemetery was beautiful. A line of trees on one side; rows and rows of headstones decorated with flowers, angel figurines, and painted rocks; and lush green grass that carpeted his footsteps.

Somewhere near the row of trees was Mikey.

A fresh wave of grief assaulting him, Jesse gazed in that direction and almost headed that way, but the breeze kicked up again, bringing with it the chatter of voices from Mr. Willis’s gravesite.

“I’ll come back,” he promised his brother—and himself—before joining Parker.

The burial was simple enough. Matilda gave a short speech to the dozens of people who’d shown up. Jesse didn’t recognize most of them, but from what Parker had said on the drive over, he was expecting friends, colleagues, former colleagues, and pretty much anyone his dad had ever met.

It was nice.

Made Jesse wonder how many people would attend his funeral.

A decade ago, he’d have said not many.

Now?

Aside from his parents and Parker, he liked to think that his teammates would show up for him. He’d bullied them too, back when he’d first joined the team. But he’d made amends since then, and although some people weren’t willing to forgive and forget, most were.

He was constantly astounded at a person’s ability to forgive.

On Jesse’s left were his mom and dad. On his right was Parker, their shoulders brushing.

Wind teasing his hair, he palmed Parker’s lower back, just to remind his friend that he was there.

Parker shot him a small smile, his grey-green eyes sadder than Jesse had ever seen them, but also a touch clearer than they’d been this morning.

Parker’s sobs had broken his heart into a million jagged pieces, and he’d wished more than anything that he could take Parker’s pain away.

But there was nothing for Jesse to do but be there for him.

It wasn’t until Matilda asked Parker if he wanted to say a few words that Parker’s composure fractured and he leaned into Jesse’s side. Jesse took his weight, his palm sliding to Parker’s opposite hip.

Parker straightened and cleared his throat. “Just... thank you,” he croaked. “Thank you for coming today, and thank you for being there for my dad in the end.”

Then it was time to lower the casket. Jesse’s heart clenched as one after another, Mr. Willis’s loved ones placed a token on top of the casket: a flower, a petal, a handful of dirt, a photograph.

When it was Parker’s turn, he didn’t bring anything with him.

Just kissed two fingers before placing them on the casket, then whispered a simple, “Bye, Dad. Love you.” He turned to the pair of men waiting off to the side to lower the casket and fill the hole with earth. “Take care of my dad.”

One of the men nodded solemnly. “Will do, sir.”

Jesse lost track of Parker after that. Everyone wanted to shake his hand or give him a hug, express their condolences or tell a story about their late friend.

“The thing that sucks about getting older,” Jesse’s dad said, “is that you start to lose your friends.” He nodded at Parker. “How’s he doing?”

“Not great,” Jesse admitted. “But he’s hanging in there.”

“That’s all you can really do.”

As the crowd around Parker thinned, a man approached him. A little older than Jesse and Parker, with wavy blond hair, he was handsome in a harmless Golden Retriever-kind of way.

Except Parker visibly stiffened, so maybe not so harmless after all.

“Not today,” Parker was saying when Jesse reached them. “Not today, Joel. I’m not in the mood.”

Joel the Golden Retriever held up both hands. “I’m only here to pay my respects. I’m really sorry about your dad, Parker.”

“Oh, I...” Parker deflated. “Did you know my dad?”

“Not well, but we met a few times. He seemed like a good guy. Genuinely interested in people and their lives.”

“Yeah,” Parker said weakly. “That was my dad.”

Joel’s gaze swung to Jesse.

“Sorry. Jess, this is Joel Penny. He owns Island Dinner and Sightseeing Cruises. Joel, this is?—”

“Jesse Melnik,” Joel interrupted with a disbelieving chuckle. He held out a hand. “Holy shit. Didn’t expect to find an NHL player on our island.”

Parker scoffed. “Don’t say our like you’re from here.”

“Where are you from?” Jesse asked.

“Born and raised in Toronto, but I moved out here a couple of years ago.” Joel laughed again. “Man. Jesse Melnik. I can’t believe it.”

Parker stepped half in front of Jesse in a move that had Jesse raising his eyebrows. Was Parker trying to... protect him?

Well, fuck if that didn’t send Jesse’s stomach into a pile of mushy feelings.

Parker made a shooing motion. “Move along now.”

Jesse’s eyebrows flew higher.

Rather than taking offence, Joel only laughed. “Sure, sure.” He gave Parker’s shoulder a brief squeeze. “I’m sorry again about your dad. I’ll see you around, Parker.”

And with that, he ambled off.

“Since when does Charlottetown have a second dinner cruise?” Jesse asked.

“Since last summer.” Parker shoved his hands in his pockets and glared after Joel. “Joel’s been offering to buy my dad’s ship and add it to his fleet.”

It was on the tip of Jesse’s tongue to ask why Parker hadn’t accepted that offer. But here and now, on the heels of burying the man Parker had looked up to his whole life, wasn’t the time.

Mom waved at them from where she stood by Dad’s truck. “Are you guys coming?”

“Coming wher—ah, fuck.” Parker groaned, shoulders sinking. “I forgot about the lunch.”

Parker had organized a lunch at a nearby restaurant for anyone who could attend. His way of saying thank you, he’d told Jesse, but also as a way to commemorate his father, who’d always loved a good get-together.

Looking at Parker now, though, Jesse suspected he’d had about enough for one day.

“Come on.” Jesse held out a hand, goosebumps trailing up his arm when Parker grasped it tightly. “I have another idea.”

* * *

Parker sat on the Willis Dinner Cruises yacht and nursed his beer.

During a dinner cruise, guests were seated inside, under cover, however there was a small section at the bow of the boat that was open to the elements.

Not many guests wandered out here during a cruise, mostly because by the time the four-course dinner was over, Parker was guiding the boat back into the marina and the sunset had long bled into night.

It was where Parker sat now, on a folding chair he’d retrieved from the ship’s storage. Next to him, Jesse gazed out at the ocean, the sun reflecting off his hair and close-cropped beard, making them look more auburn than brown.

Parker’s breathing went unsteady for a moment.

This had been Jesse’s idea. Forget the lunch, forget the people who were expecting him to show up at the restaurant. If Parker needed something else, he shouldn’t feel bad about taking it. His mental and emotional health were more important than making an appearance at the restaurant.

So they’d told Jesse’s parents and Matilda that they wouldn’t be there, stopped at the liquor store for a case of beer, and grabbed lunch from a nearby seafood place.

With the yacht still docked, the call of seagulls overhead, and the smell of saltwater in the air, Parker had to admit that this was exactly what he’d needed.

They hadn’t said much since arriving, aside from discussing which order of fish and chips belonged to who.

The two-piece with an extra helping of fries obviously went to the professional athlete.

Parker dunked his crispy fish into tartar sauce. “Do you have extra?—”

Jesse handed over the extra tartar sauce before Parker could finish his sentence.

A thrill went through Parker. They were still on the same wavelength, all these years later. “Thanks.”

Silence descended between them again, comfortable and familiar. Something moved in the corner of Parker’s eyes, but when he looked over, there was nothing there.

Of course there was nothing there.

“What’s up?” Jesse asked as Parker kept staring off to his right.

“I thought I saw...”

His dad. He’d thought he’d seen his dad.

He swallowed hard. “You know, this ship is where I feel my dad’s presence the strongest.”

Jesse cocked his head. “Not the house?”

“A little. But he loved being on the water. He would’ve lived on this ship if he could’ve. I think the only reason he didn’t is that it doesn’t have proper living quarters.” He hesitated for a moment, then asked, “Do you... do you feel Mikey anywhere?”

Jesse chewed on a fry. Sunglasses hid his eyes, so Parker couldn’t tell if the question hurt or not, but his face and shoulders were relaxed. “Not really,” Jesse said once he’d swallowed.

“Not even on The Windblown ?”

“I haven’t been on it since he died.”

Oh. Wow. Jesse’s words sucker-punched Parker right in the sternum.

Jesse hadn’t been on his family’s sailboat in fifteen years? But... Jesse loved that boat. Hell, he and Mikey had lived on it one summer in high school. If anything, Mikey had loved it even more than his older brother had.

Which explained why Jesse didn’t want anything to do with it, but it hurt Parker’s heart knowing he was depriving himself of something he loved.

It probably didn’t help that Jesse had been the one to find Mikey’s body on The Windblown , not long after Mikey had ingested prescription drugs and left a simple note behind.

I love you, but I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m sorry. I love you.

“I talk to him all the time, though,” Jesse said, and the information, offered freely, made Parker smile.

“Does he answer back?”

Jesse shook his head. “I can’t hear him listening.”

The way he phrased it— I can’t hear him listening —broke something in Parker.

“Sometimes I feel like that sailboat.” Jesse looked past Parker, where, in the distance, The Windblown was moored in a different part of the marina. “Sailing toward an empty horizon, hoping the wind will blow me home. Or at least to a place where the world feels whole again.”

Throat burning, Parker blinked against yet more tears.

“Sorry,” Jesse said with a soft laugh. “Here I am getting all maudlin when you don’t need me to be.”

“No, it helps,” Parker rasped. “Talking to someone who gets it.”

Talking to someone who could articulate what Parker was feeling but that he didn’t know how to put into words, despite being a writer.

Parker sighed and set aside his empty lunch container. “I’m so tired of people telling me my dad’s in a better place and that he’s no longer suffering. I just want one person to tell me that it fucking sucks.”

“It does fucking suck, Parks,” Jesse said quietly. “You shouldn’t have lost him so early.”

Kicking his feet up onto the railing, Parker cradled his beer on his stomach.

“Sometimes I wish we could go back to the days when we were sneaking out of the house to attend beach parties. Remember that time we got caught when you convinced me to go to that party instead of staying in and playing video games?”

Jesse froze with his beer halfway to his lips. Slow-panned in Parker’s direction. “Excuse you. That is not how I remember it going.”

Parker stuck his tongue in his cheek. “Aren’t you glad you convinced me to go? Otherwise you never would’ve kissed what’s-his-name.”

“Asshole,” Jesse said with a laugh. “We both know I always caved to your bad influence.”

“The word you’re looking for is incorrigible .”

“In your dreams, maybe.”

Parker snorted a laugh.

“Whatever happened to what’s-his-name?” Jesse asked. “He still around?”

“Dunno. Last I heard, he went to university in Toronto. No idea if he stayed there after graduation. Though why anyone would want to is anybody’s guess.”

Jesse’s brow furrowed. “What?”

“Toronto’s stupid.”

Shoulders shaking with silent laughter, Jesse said, “So I guess you don’t want to come with me next week?”

“To... Toronto?”

“Mm-hmm. I’m going to see a friend’s play. I’ll be there Wednesday through Friday.”

Parker bit his lip. A trip with Jesse? Sure, Toronto was on his list of least favourite places in the country, but a trip with Jesse definitely trumped his dislike of the city.

“I’ve got dinner cruises on Wednesday and Friday, but.

..” He rubbed a palm over his jaw, which was already beginning to stubble despite having shaved less than five hours earlier.

“If Matilda can cover for me, then sure. I’d love to. ”

It’d be good to get away for a bit. Focus on having a good time instead of on the job he hated and on his dad’s debts.

Wait. Speaking of debts... “How much does it cost to fly from here to Toronto?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Jesse clinked his beer bottle against Parker’s. “I already got your ticket. And a ticket to the play. And I’ve got a hotel room booked.”

Parker stared at him, surprised and a little annoyed, but mostly just amused. “You were so sure I’d say yes, huh, superstar?”

“I hoped.”

“All right then.” Parker stole a fry off Jesse’s plate and, ignoring his best friend’s scowl, popped it in his mouth. “Toronto, here we come.”