Page 72 of Waiting for Acceptance (Nashville Nights #5)

LAUREN

“I can’t believe you have waited this long to tell them.” Fitz shakes his head, watching as I anxiously try to fix my hair for the fifth time today. I’m one more attempt away from throwing this brush at the mirror, but God love him, Fitz is giving me the space I need to freak out about this.

“It’s only been two weeks,” I argue weakly. He leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest.

“And how long has it felt ?” I point my brush at him in a very hostile way.

“Like two eternities. I haven’t wanted to touch my phone or respond to the group chat because I feel like I’m going to vomit every time I say something to them that isn’t oh my god I got promoted to COO of the company I’ll one day OWN, and OH YEAH, we’re moving to New York!

” My heart starts to beat erratically in my chest.

“Sweetheart, you need to breathe or you’re not going to make it to your party.” Tears well in my eyes and I sigh as my shoulders drop.

“What if this is my last birthday with them?” My voice betrays me, cracking as Fitz walks over to wrap his arms around me.

“Baby—”

“What if everyone is too busy raising the babies I’ll never get to see, or running bars, and veteran centers, and we only see each other once a year at Christmas?

Or worse! What if our Christmas traditions end because I move a thousand miles away?

” He strokes my back, trying to calm me down, but how can I calm down?

When I’m on the verge of a panic attack over leaving the people who have been the only true family I’ve ever known.

“I won’t get to take Hendrix on Auntie Lauren dates anymore, or do tea parties with Cece, wearing crowns much too small for my head.

I won’t get to hear Poe say his first words or get to watch Shane and Max’s new baby grow up.

What if I can’t do this without them?” The reason I’ve waited so long to even tell them about the move is because I’m scared I’ll chicken out when the truth is finally out there and not want to go.

“You and I both know you won’t have to do this without them.

You guys will talk all the time, you’ll FaceTime and send so many pictures and voice notes that it’ll be like they’re right there with you.

You will absolutely be keeping your Christmas traditions because I need to be a part of at least one of them.

You’ll have a jet you can take any time you miss them, and you can fly them out to us whenever their schedules allow.

I know how hard this is going to be for you, but I’m going to be right by your side—tonight and for the rest of our lives.

I know you’ll miss your life in Tennessee, but I swear to you, Trouble, I will do everything I can to give you a life you’ll love in New York.

” I feel myself relax at his words. That’s how I know he’s right for me.

Because it won’t be my friends that I call first when something happens, good or bad, Fitz will be.

I’ll always need my best friends in my life, but Fitz is the missing piece I was always trying to fill with someone or something else.

I look up at Fitz, as he runs his fingers through my hair, and I smile.

“I love you. Thank you for letting me freak out.”

“I love you too. I’ll always let you feel whatever you need to, and be right here to calm you down when it’s needed.” He kisses my forehead and I let out a sigh of relief, then push off him to face the mirror.

“I don’t know why you let me cry after I did my full face of makeup though.” He chuckles at me and I smile back, salvaging what I can of my makeup. Someone knocks at the door and we both look at each other in confusion.

“Are you expecting someone?” he asks, but I shake my head. “I’ll see who it is.” Ginny jumps up on the counter next to me and I take a deep breath, petting between her ears before grabbing a Q-tip to get the mascara from under my eyes.

“Sweetheart?” I spin to face a troubled-looking Fitz.

“Yeah?”

“Your mom is here.” My heart drops into my stomach and I freeze.

“What? Why?” I whisper, unsure if he let her in or not.

He shrugs. “She just said she needed to see you.” My mouth pops open a few times as I think, then when I can’t think of a reasonable explanation for not seeing her, I nod and we walk together into the living room.

When I see her standing in the doorway I’m not sure how to feel.

I’m not as nervous or anxious as I used to be when she would visit, waiting for the impending jabs at my life or my home, instead, I’m just… curious.

“Lauren.” She smiles and it surprises me. “Thank you for seeing me, sweetie.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything is fine…” she stops herself, shaking her head.

“Well, I suppose that’s a lie, isn’t it?

Everything isn’t fine.” She walks further into the house, no longer waiting for an invitation to do so.

She sets her purse on the counter and takes a deep breath, squaring her shoulders as I’ve done so many times when I need a boost of confidence.

“I came here to apologize to you, Lauren. For the way things ended the last time we saw each other, and for every single thing that your father and I did or said that led up to that point.”

I think I’m hallucinating.

I look at Fitz, trying to figure out if this is really happening, and he wraps an arm around my waist, silently supporting me like he always does.

“I don’t… What?” I’m completely lost for words, waiting for the ha-ha moment where she takes it all back and tells me why she’s really here.

Her eyes glisten, but her voice remains strong.

“You, my darling girl, are perfect, just the way you are. You have always been the smartest, most talented, kind, and beautiful girl I’ve ever known.

I regret ever making you feel like you were anything less than that.

” Tears fill my eyes and my throat is tight as she speaks.

“Then…why? Why did you? Why did you and Daddy push me so hard and never tell me that what I was doing was good?” The regret in her eyes seems genuine and I see her nostrils flare as a tear falls from her eye too.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mother cry.

“I couldn’t begin to tell you. But your father and I know now that we shouldn’t have projected what we may have wanted in life onto you.

We should have listened and supported you.

You built your own life here, Lauren, and even if it was out of spite, which I would understand, you did it all on your own.

I have never been as proud of someone as I am of you. Your father is too.”

I scoff. “Then where is he? Why couldn’t he come here to tell me himself?”

“He wanted to come, I promise he did, but I told him it may be better if I came alone so you wouldn’t feel overwhelmed.”

“You’re proud of me?” My voice shakes with every word and Fitz’s grip tightens on me.

She nods, blinking away her tears as she sniffles.

“I am so sorry, Lauren. I hope one day you can forgive us for the way we’ve treated you and the way we made you feel.

You are more than enough and you should never feel like you have to prove yourself to us.

To anyone, for that matter.” I look over at Fitz and he smiles softly at me.

“We have somewhere to be tonight, but maybe we can talk about this another time? With Daddy here too?” She nods eagerly, a smile finding her lips.

“Yes! You just tell us when and we’ll make it happen.” I nod, watching as she grabs her purse and turns to leave. My heart sinks a little that she forgot?—

She turns around to face me. “Happy birthday, baby girl. I hope you have the best night with your friends.”

“Thanks, Mom.” When she leaves, I fall into Fitz’s arms and cry, hardly able to believe that that just happened.

“I’ll let everyone know we’ll be a little late. Let it out, baby.” He strokes my hair, letting me feel it all. Just like he promised he would.

We made it to Topgolf twenty minutes late but spent the entire night drinking, golfing, and laughing until my cheeks hurt. I was so glad Luther and Reggie made it to celebrate with us, even though they had to leave right after our game and couldn’t come back to Chattahoochies with us.

“Last drink for you tonight, Trouble,” Fitz whispers in my ear, sending a chill down my spine.

I like that he keeps me from overdoing it.

I spent so long drinking to cure the ache of disappointing my parents, or feeling alone, and now he reminds me that I no longer have to drink to feel better—I have him for that.

Plus, I think not remembering the first time we slept together really adds to his reasoning.

“To the birthday girl and future Mrs. Fitzgerald! Thirty is going to be your year, babe!” I smile at Ruby, lifting my glass to clink it with the other nine.

“Man, what a year. Taylor and Tucker and Leah and Sawyer got married, Shane got pregnant again, and Lauren got engaged. Damn… We didn’t do anything interesting this year.” Ruby frowns at Tank and he laughs.

“Woman, I already gave you a baby, what else do you want from me?”

“Well, that’s actually not all.” All eyes turn to me.

“Oh my god! You’re pregnant too?!” Shane exclaims, holding her palms together by her mouth.

“Oh, god no,” I say immediately catching a frown from Fitz.

“I mean, I’m not opposed to kids…someday.

But—” Now is not the time to be having a secret conversation with my future husband about whether or not I want to have kids.

Shaking my head in frustration, I continue, “That’s not the point right now.

No. I’m not pregnant. I got offered a new job.

” I rush the words out and all the girls gasp, while the guys give me encouraging congratulations.

I swallow hard, forcing out the next words. “As COO of The Fitzgerald Firm.” The girls all gasp and squeal in excitement.

“Holy shit.” Ruby’s tone drops to one more serious and the energy begins to shift.

“But that means…” Shane starts.

“You’re… Are you—” Leah tries to get out, but her voice is already thick with emotion.

“You’re moving to New York?” Taylor’s voice cracks in disbelief and my heart starts to do the same.

I nod, confirming for her. “We’re moving to New York.”

“That’s not… I mean, you can’t move to New York. Your favorite taco truck is here.” Taylor is trying her best to lighten the mood with jokes, all while wiping her tears away angrily.

“The tacos in New York are okay too. Maybe you can come try them sometime?” I shrug, tears falling from my eyes as I look at Ruby. She’s the only one who’s managed to crack a smile, and my brows pinch in confusion.

“What a fucking badass. You’re the COO of The Fitzgerald Firm in New York!” I laugh gratefully, as she pulls me in for a hug. All the girls join in, holding me tighter than ever—like they’re scared to let me go this time.

“We’ll definitely come try your New York tacos,” Shane says.

“And that pizza place Fitz is obsessed with,” Taylor adds, and I catch Fitz throwing his hands up from the corner of my eye, making me laugh.

“I’ll bet you have some swanky new office you could show us too,” Leah says.

“We’ll be regular tourists for you.” The girls giggle, but when I catch Ruby’s eye, and see this warrior of a woman with tears streaming down her face, I freeze.

“You better not forget about us,” she warns.

“Are you kidding? I could never.” Her lip quivers and I look around the bar, smiling as I remember the night we first came here. The guys move to stand next to their wives, and Fitz pulls me into his lap on his barstool.

“When do you move?” Shane asks, sniffling as she wipes her face.

“I start in two weeks, so…before that.” Everyone silently nods.

“Hell yeah. Packing party this weekend.” I look at Max gratefully.

Tucker claps, pointing finger guns in the air.

“Be happy the number of us has multiplied since Taylor moved in with me.” We all laugh, finishing our drinks as we reminisce on the last few years.

Starting from when Shane moved back to Nashville and needed to drink away a crappy weekend, we came to Chattahoochies to do just that, and four tequila shots and a key lime martini later, we wound up here—one big family that we found along the way and pieced together little by little.

I’m going to miss them more than they’ll ever know, but I know that moving to New York is what I’m supposed to do next.

Because while my heart aches thinking about all I’ll miss when I’m gone, I have so much peace over what I’ll experience in New York with Fitz.

I may not be down the street anymore, but we'll always have our Nashville nights.