Page 19

EIGHTEEN

Inessa

I should be happy that Vlad has left for somewhere that no one knows, but I want him here. I want him to argue with me and scream or shout instead of dismissing me like I’m nothing. I feel like a prisoner hiding away as I stay away from my life while my throat heals. He used more force than his father did, and my skin is tender with only air brushing it. It’s not comfortable without Vlad’s presence and I have to force myself out of the room I’ve taken up in.I’m a stranger in this house without him here and I sheepishly make my way to the ground floor.

Vitali is sat in the lounge with his injured leg propped up and his eyes go wide when he sees me. Sitting up straight, he fills with anger despite being semi-immobilized and gestures to my neck.

“Who the fuck done that?”

“Your father,” I answer easily.

I don’t add that his brother’s hands were also part of it. He wouldn’t speak up on my behalf and some fucked up part of my brain doesn’t want anyone to know.

He’s the closest to my age and I don’t trust Valentin’s reputation of being a cruel bastard to be around him. Vitali is essentially a puppy at home. At all the events we’ve passed each other, he’s maintained the Vartanov mask of violence. But he’s warm inside these walls. It must be something in their DNA that makes them more human as time has gone on because he hooks his arm over my shoulders as I sit beside him. His hands don’t go anywhere inappropriate as he keeps me tucked to his side and speaks evenly.

“He’s a cunt, they both are. Try to avoid them or stick by Vlad, so they watch themselves.”

His advice warms me, and I don’t move his arm as I grab the control putting on my guilty pleasure.

It’s gross, but I can’t look away as the videos play of pimples being popped. The arm around my shoulders leaves and he moves back with disgust lacing his voice.

“What the fuck?”

My laugh is light as I wince at the huge spot on someone’s back. Both of us watch in fascination and we ignore the footsteps coming closer. Valentin has the same reaction and Viktor’s voice fills the room.

“It’s like a volcano.”

The dysfunctional family surround me as we keep watching them and I can feel Valentin’s eyes pinging from my neck to the tv. I didn’t think to cover my neck with not leaving the house and I won’t lower my head to make them feel better. Until I’ve spoken to Vlad and found out why he tried to kill me, I’ll let them think it was their father.

We’re deep down the rabbit hole of pimple popping when Misha turns up. He doesn’t bat an eye, used to my viewing choice, but his brows go up at the men surrounding me, adopting my guilty pleasure. He must be close to Valentin because he greets Viktor knowingly and passes me everything I asked for. Signing the documents needed for Mara, I go through and check the masks he brought.I miss being at home and hiding in my room, but I’ll be able to recreate the loneliness now.

Taking time off isn’t something I get the privilege of often and I’m going to use it to pamper myself for once. Getting up to go back to my self-assigned cell, three sets of eyes lock on to me with the same question.

“Where are you going?”

I hold the berry face mask up dumbly, and my invite is playful.

“Do you all want to be pampered too?”

I don’t expect there to be anything other than disinterest, but Vitali proves me wrong and holds his hand out for the tub. He grabs it out of my hand and reads the label with genuine interest. I’m stood like an idiot watching him and trying to work out why he’s invested when he shrugs. He unscrews the cap and puts his nose inside, taking a deep inhale. His head pops up with a dopey grin and he hands me it back with an instruction.

“It smells like a smoothie, pamper away big sister.”

Maybe Vlad did actually succeed in killing me and this is some weird ass limbo. I don’t run and hide and check that it’s safe for Viktor’s skin when he moves closer, inspecting the contents. Valentin is behind me, and he doesn’t seem to think this is weird either.

“He’s not allergic to anything in it, but don’t get anything near his eyes, they always sting him,” he says.

I nod and move mechanically, applying it to the youngster first and his little giggles come out at the cool paste touching his skin.

“It feels weird.”

He relaxes, sitting beside his uncle and maybe this isn’t so weird. He’s a little prince and crosses his ankles with his hands behind his head like he’s at a resort spa when I’m done.

Doing the same for Vitali, he closes his eyes doing the same and acting like a spoilt prick.

“We need cucumbers for our eyes. I’m going to be glowing and get Vik another aunt, might be able to get him one for every day of the week.”

Valentin rolls his eyes, stalking away as I apply my own mask and rest back against the sofa between the other two.

He hasn’t been gone long when the footsteps come back, and he tells Viktor to keep his eyes closed. The little giggle by my side has a genuine smile lifting my lips and then it falls when something cold touches my eyes.

“Ease up, they’re only cucumbers,” he warns after placing them on my eyes.

I nod and he moves behind the back of the sofa to his brother and teases him.

“Your cucumbers, princess.”

We’re all laughing trying not to move our faces much as Valentin walks away.

The silence is comforting, and I can feel the drying edges of the mask pull at my skin as Viktor softly whispers, “I like you living here Nessa.”

No one says anything and I know I’m going to miss him when I get out of this marriage before it’s even begun. I hope Vlad lets me be in his nephew’s life or, at the least, doesn’t attempt to control it. I ask my question quietly, hoping it won’t be picked up by little ears as I turn my head in Vitali’s direction.

“Where’s Vlad?”

I expect to hear Vitali, not the devil himself as he strokes along my tender neck and whispers ‘ boo’ in my ear. I jump at his arrival and the soft caress disappears. My sight is covered, and he removes one cucumber slice from my eye. My nose scrunches seeing him bite into it and he nods his head, gesturing to his office.

I have pink paste all over my face, my hair is up in a knot at the top of my head, and I’m dressed in sweats. There’s nowhere for me to hide with him stood behind the sofa looking down at me with one fucking cucumber slice over my eye. Taking it off so I can at least see, I straighten my shoulders like this is a normal occurrence. Sitting with his brother and nephew playing spa is totally normal — even I don’t believe the lie I’m trying to convince myself of.

It gets worse as I follow after him, avoiding Vitali’s injured leg. Both uncle and nephew remain unmoved with their heads back and the pink mask over their features. But Vlad is in another well-tailored, should be classified as indecent, suit while I’m in sweats and fluffy socks. My t-shirt has seen better days and has holes around the collar from wear. He’s only twelve years older than me, but it could be forty-two with the glaringly obvious differences right now.

I’ve never stood without my rage and heels bringing us closer in height and I can’t stop myself from asking, “How tall are you?”

I’m five footeight and he’s easily a head taller than me. Looking at me over his shoulder, his answer has me biting my lip to stop from laughing at the irony.

“Six-six.”

He’s the devil, even his height tells people, I bet the exact measurement is six feet, six point six inches.

He guides me into the office and closes the door softly rather than kicking it closed like the last time. I’m stood like a nut around all his expensive vodka, whisky, and weapons and his eyes are fixed on my neck. The large walnut desk doesn’t have a mark on it from his tumbler, and there are even coasters on the bar cart in the corner. My neck heats from his gaze, pulling me back from surveying the room. His eyes don’t show any emotion and he takes three slow steps towards me. Vlad’s hand comes up and I flinch automatically, moving away from it.

I force my anger out before he can reprimand me for my reaction as his jaw hardens. Crossing my arms over my chest to hide the fact I’m not wearing a bra, I add steel into my voice.

“You can’t disappear again.”

He orders me around all the fucking time, and I won’t allow this to be a fake marriage of inequality. For every demand Vlad gives, I’ll make two.

There’s no emotion in my voice or the memory.

“Why did you try to kill me?”

I’ve come to the conclusion myself. It wasn’t me in front of him when he wrapped his hands around my throat. But I want to hear it and try to look authoritative despite the shit on my face. His nostrils flare and he takes a step forward, but it doesn’t make me back down. Neither does the rough dismissal.

“I don’t answer to you.”

My twisted smile gets stuck with the mask drying and my lips don’t have as much movement, but it doesn’t prevent me being smug.

“No, you answer to the Pakhan. My grandfather.”

His anger is like a warm summer’s day, and I bask in it flaunting my position.

“I told you I’m the queen. I can move in any direction I want.”

Rolling his eyes like an immature prick, it carries into his tone.

“I wasn’t trying to kill you.”

I change my goal as he goes to the bar cart and test my luck.

“That’s an awful apology, try again.”

He’s clearly more than capable of hurting me, but I have a suspicion, or stupid hope, that he won’t. Everyone knows he’s fair in his fights and it’s one of the things that helped ease the non-decision to marry him that maybe that same quality will be shown to his wife.

Vlad doesn’t answer as he uncorks the crystal decanter and fills a tumbler. He takes a sip of his drink, and my treacherous body is jealous of the ice cubes clinking against his lips. He moves like a lion, slipping into his seat with sleek lines and defined muscle as I fake confidence. Setting his drink on the leather blotter of his desk, he traces the rim with his middle finger. It’s not indecent, just an absent-minded movement that I can feel between my thighs.Why couldn’t anyone have told me he would be back, I could have put on my armor rather than be totally stripped bare without any defense.

He flicks his forefinger at the seat in front of him and I lose all the lustful thoughts instantly. I’m not a dog that he can pat his thigh and command where I fucking go. I stand, refusing to listen until he gives me what I want.

“You’re fair when it comes to violence, carry that same attitude now.”

Pride shines back at me, and my spine straightens under it. He can issue every threat he wants about me knowing my place or shutting up, but he won’t respect me if I do. He’s too brutal, and he’s fought for everything he has. His respect is given with blood and defiance.Not submissive acceptance.

He reclines back in his seat and doesn’t make a stupid comment, allowing me to take my seat.

“What do you want?”

My mouth opens, and the jab leaves without any thought.

“Not to be strangled in the middle of the night.”

The closest thing to remorse colors his handsome face and he nods, turning back to being stoic. It’s strange when he doesn’t smirk or show any malintent that it lulls me into false confidence as I add more conditions.

“You can’t just abandon me either. And I don’t give a fuck about your reputation, you either respect me or you take this ring back.”

I hold my hand up, but he smirks and calls my bluff.

“Try it.”

I’ve only had it a few days and I haven’t taken it off once. My finger has gotten used to the weight and I hesitate. It might not be the exact ring I chose, but I like it and it’s shiny. Seeing the asshole enjoying the sight of my reluctance, I harden, meeting his eyes and pull it up. Pain erupts as soon as I tug, and it feels like my skin is being shredded, making me stop instantly. Little red rivulets drip down my knuckles as I inspect below the band and sharp prongs are digging into my skin. I can’t feel them due to the way they’re positioned unless I try to take it off then it embeds into my skin.

The dickhead is smiling widely, his smug voice bouncing off the walls.

“You could chop your finger off?”

I’m going to throw something at him, and he becomes a bigger asshole as I look for something heavy enough to do damage.

“That finger became mine as soon as you accepted my ring.”

He pushes his chair back and walks around the desk, holding the crystal tumbler loosely between his fingers. That shouldn’t be attractive, neither should his arrogance. But he wears it too well.

There’s no paperweight to smash into his skull and I’m stopped from my search when he tilts my face up and to the side, exposing my neck. My eyes close when his nose skims my neck, and they roll behind my lids when his deep whisper fills my ear.

“I didn’t try to kill you and it won’t happen again, meelaya.” It’s an apology, and a promise sealed with his soft lips pressing into the marks.He smells good too, everything about him has been curated to combine every single weakness I possess. My thighs twitch as he continues moving his lips across my neck as though they’re capable of removing the marks. His lips are too soft, and it feels good, way too fucking good.

My breathing shallows and I hold the armrests, my fingers digging into the wood to hold on to some sanity. Vlad moves back across my skin, going to my ear and I’m officially a mess.

“You smell good enough to eat.”

Biting the inside of my lip to stop from begging him to do just that, he laughs low in his throat, each soundwave brushes my skin, and he presses a kiss under my ear before his heat is removed.His footsteps get further away, the ice clinking with each step until the door closes.

I don’t move or look as I count to one hundred to make sure he isn’t stood behind me. I’m combusting inside from barely anything and I have a stupid fucking mask on my face made from berries like someone pushed my face into a cake.Why do I even want him?! I shouldn’t. It makes things easier knowing that I have to sleep with him, but he’s not my type. Ever since I’ve been aware that I’m not going to be trapped in a marriage, I’ve allowed myself to think of the future I want.

I always thought I’d find someone decent, an upstanding citizen, maybe a lawyer who has the same interests as me and we’d both change lives together. He’d prosecute every sick fuck, and I’d do what I could to make sure the children have a chance at life rather than existence. Vlad is not that man. He’s modified something as innocent as an engagement ring to be a collar that I can’t remove.

That’s what I focus on, and I stand, making sure my steps are silent as I walk through the house. Vlad is speaking to his brothers, and I take the service elevator through the kitchen rather than pass the lounge. He won’t be able to see me leave or try to stop me. The keys are all held together in the kitchen, and I go through the luxury vehicles deciding which one takes my fancy before going to change. He’s a dickhead and toying with me, so I’ll do it right back. People say don’t cut off your nose to spite your face, this is more like cutting off your finger to spite your fiancé.