Page 7 of Virgo Type Sh*t (BLP Signs of Love #1)
“Next, her ass started looking under the couch, so I’m like, baby, what you looking for?
” He sat back, crossed his arms over himself with a frown displayed boldly.
“Y’all know what this damn girl said to me!
” Suspense had us all stuck. “Her ass said she was looking for her pussy because I knocked it out her body. At first, I thought it was like a job well done husband joke. No. Her ass was legitimately looking for her pussy!”
I was the first to laugh because what the hell they had going on. “How you know she wasn’t jokin’ though? She could have been givin’ you props.”
“I knew her ass wasn’t jokin’ when she cuffed that holy vagina and started crying.
Talking about I’m going to leave her because her pussy ran away.
” His face held so much distress. “When her ass went to the bathroom and came back out with gauze for me to wrap her middle up so nothing else fell out, I was over the shit. After I wrapped up her pussy and we prayed for its return, I had to give her ass Benadryl mixed with damn melatonin to get her ass to sleep.”
There was no way that we couldn’t laugh at this point. I’d met Ruth a number of times, and I couldn’t imagine her like that. I heard that she could be with the shits, but I’d never had the privilege to witness it. All of our laughter was hard. Mega didn’t want to laugh, but he eventually joined in.
“So, you really wrapped dat girl stuff up?” I asked. “Man, you wild for dat shit. I’on know if I coulda done that.”
Mega glared at me like I was crazy. “You damn right I wrapped that holy vagina up. When she woke up, our prayers were answered. That holy vagina was back.”
“What y’all out here laughing at?” A female voice came from the sliding door. “I want to laugh.”
Fiona walked out onto the deck. What caught my eye was the female that walked out behind her. Who the fuck is that?
“We not laughing about anything you need to be concerned about,” Mega blurted. He glared at us like he was our daddy and was telling us to shut up without words. “What’s up, Mekole?”
That’s Mekole! This woman was thick as fuck and gorgeous. Damn . She didn’t look at all like a woman who would be an electrician.
“Hey, Mega.” Her smile was infectious. “What’s up, y’all?”
Fiona smiled. “Oh, T.J., Casey! I’m so happy y’all are here.” She turned to Mekole. “Mekole, these are the guys I told you about. T.J. owns Burke Manufacture Homes, and Casey is the manager of their production plant.” She pointed each of us out.
“Oh, okay.” She stepped toward us, then extended her hand to me. “It’s nice to meet you, T.J.”
I froze for a quick second but caught myself. I stood before I took her hand into mine. Yep, she is just the right height. I towered over her ass. She couldn’t have been any taller than five feet six, if that. “It’s nice to meet you as well. I took a look at your résumé a little earlier.”
Her blushed cheeks rose. “That’s great! I really hope your company is in the market for a new electrician. Not sure if they told you, but I recently got here, and I think I want to make the move permanent.” She giggled. “You can’t really do that without a job.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, I get that. Well, how about you go have fun, and I’ll reach out to you to set up an interview for this coming week.”
“I can definitely do that. Thank you so much,” she said. Her voice was pretty. Can a voice be pretty? Shit, that bitch was pretty.
“Alright, we’re gone,” Fiona said. She walked over to Croy to give him a kiss. Seconds later, they were closing the sliding back door to leave.
Casey cupped his hands around his mouth. “I’m Casey, the hiring manager. It’s nice to meet you too!”
I showed Casey my favorite middle finger before I sat back down. “Shut da hell up. I was bein’ courteous.”
Draco laughed. “I see you can turn that Geechie on and off like a switch. When she was in here, you were proper as fuck. Now it’s missing syllables and letters.”
I had to laugh at that statement myself because he was right. “Man, she introduced me as the owner of Burke Manufacture Homes, not T.J. the homeboy. I had to give her my professional first impression, but I’ll have another chance to show her another side.”
“Don’t do it,” Ned said before he took a sip from his cup.
He set it on the table in front of him after he finished.
“I saw how the fuck you were looking at her ass when the toenail of her big toe hit that threshold. You had that same crazy, do anything for love look that this nigga . . .” He pointed at Mega.
“Had when he met his wife. That girl ain’t a Ruth. ”
Mega’s head bucked back. “What you mean, she’s not a Ruth? Every woman should pray to be a Ruth.”
Croy snickered. “Yes, brother Mega. What he means is that Mekole and Fiona are cut from the same crazy cloth.”
“They damn sure are.” Jacob agreed. “Hell, her ass might be crazier.” He shook his head, then mumbled, “Oil drum with holes.”
I wasn’t sure what that was about, but okay. “Man, y’all act like I said that I wanted to marry the damn girl. All I said was what’s up.”
“Your mouth said what’s up. Your eyes said meet me at the altar,” Yetti joked. “I say go for the shit, but only if you’re serious. I would keep in mind that she is directly related to Fiona. She’s not like a cousin twice removed or some shit.”
They were doing way too much. I sucked my teeth. “Y’all trippin’. All I did was tell da damn girl hi.”
Casey pulled out a stack of cash. “I got five hundred dollars that says he’ll be willing to risk it all in less than a month.” He flaked off five bills and put them on the table.
I sat there and watched these niggas make a series of bets on how long it would take for me to do a variety of different actions. I refused to refute their ignorance because it would be a waste of time. Like I said, I only told the girl hi.