Page 9

I watch a hurt Ivy flee from the mansion. It takes everything in me not to catch her, strip her naked, and take away her sadness. The balloon in my chest inflates every time I see her. This time, her tears pierce the balloon, causing me to feel empty. I’m also confused by her anger toward me. According to my Beta and Gamma, my physique and the extreme way I carry out my Alpha duties is intimidating, which is why I thought staying away from her was the right thing.

However, it’s not the reason I am distancing myself. Everything that’s Ivy penetrates my psyche, reducing my rock-hard disposition to mush. I’m overcome with want and need to have her underneath me while I’m buried inside her, and I don’t trust myself. Of course, I’d never hurt Ivy, she’s my mate, yet her presence fucks with my head. The sight and smell of her puts my wolf into a frenzy, and I have to talk us both down to the point of exhaustion. My raw cock is proof of how much I want her. Her lips make me dumb. Her eyes hook into my beast. Her smell has me running in the forest each night for hours to burn off my carnal cravings, only to come home and grip my hard-on until my balls are empty and my cock is red.

This separation I’m creating won’t last and has only upset her. She has no idea how important she is to me. All I’ve dreamed about is finding my mate. I want to care for her. Fuck her in a desperate, primal way. Drop our masks, our histories, and explore our primitive selves. Connect on a level that surpasses everything we’ve known and everything we’ll ever know.

I run toward the forest, tearing off my clothes, dropping to all fours, and shift. A howl ignites from me prior to dashing into the forest’s dark abyss with only a sliver of the moon’s light. It’s quiet. The snow crunches under my paws as I dodge trees, creating a breath vapor in front of me. My wolf leads, gnashing at the bit from anger and frustration, and pushing our endurance to the brink. Ivy’s Nordic-blond hair flashes in my head. Then her smile. Those amethyst eyes. Her tears. Another howl breaks from me. I rush through a stream, jump over a log, and skid to a halt. My wolf ears twitch, trying to hear if anyone is around, but it’s a winter’s calm evening. The pack is put to bed.

Once I get to my house, I shift, unlock the door, and head inside. The sunrise is already poking above the trees, so I make coffee, shower, and sit by the fireplace to figure out how to handle Ivy.

Standing outside my door, throwing on a jacket, my mind rewinds to Ivy. I skipped breakfast in the mess hall, because I still haven’t come up with a solution to my problem…although Ivy is not a problem. She’s a cure to my inner beast and my heart, so distancing won’t solve our dilemma. Because it is our dilemma ever since I detected the change in her scent yesterday—her arousal. Ivy isn’t upset I’m not around. She’s turned on by me, and that’s an issue right now.

My Gamma, Tibald, jerks me to the present when he asks.

“Heading to the mess hall?”

“Yeah.”

“Mind if I tagalong.”

I tilt my head toward the hall. Tibald’s the third strongest in our pack and oversees training in case we go to war with another pack or humans. He also works in unison with the FBI regarding our missions. The three of us grew up together, except Tibald’s family isn’t as old as mine and Kyle’s.

We’re quiet on our walk, and then Kyle mind-links us.

There’s a problem in the mess hall.

I ask, what’s the problem?

Ivy broke a bottle and is threatening people.

My feet take off as I break the link. I crash through the doors to find people jumping out of the way, watching Ivy swing the broken bottle from side to side. Her eyes are wild and distant, and her breathing is hectic. When everyone hears me, they part to the sides to create a path. I approach her and notice her trembling and glassy-eyed.

“Hey, sweetheart. It’s Larc.”

Sweat trickles down her temples, panting from fear as she backs up into the wall, poking the broken bottle in front of her.

I step closer and say her name, but she’s still somewhere else. This time, I lower my voice and growl her name. It gets her attention. Her eyes begin to focus, taking in everyone in the room staring at her, and then the bottle. She drops it like it’s on fire, gazes at me, and chants, I’m sorry repeatedly.

“It’s okay.”

She sucks in air, pressing her hand to her chest, and screams.

“No, it’s not!”

Everyone gasps and gives her space when she bolts for the door. I don’t bother saying anything and take off after her. Her sobs echo in the air while her arms and legs work to get her as far away from us as possible.

I catch up, scoop her into my arms, and sprint to my house. She’s sobbing on my sweater while I get us inside. Taking notice of her shivering, it occurs to me she ran out without a coat. I place her on the counter, take my sweater off, and pull it over her head and down her body. She feeds her arms through the sweater, resting her hands on my shoulders and her forehead against my chest. She’s attempting to slow her breathing down.

“Hey, beautiful. Everyone understands.”

She rocks her forehead on my chest from side to side as tears drip onto her lap.

“I don’t even understand.”

“Maybe it’s time for you to see Ellen, the pack psychiatrist. She can help you—”

Ivy lifts her head from mine, presses a finger to my lips, and says.

“No one can take away the nightmares and the triggers.”

“People go to psychiatrists all the time to help with PTSD and many other issues.”

She purses her lips together, locking her eyes on mine, like she’s thinking about something. I wipe away the streaks of tears while she inhales to stop the rest from falling. My wolf is scratching at me to let him loose, so he can care for her. His idea of caring is fucking her, which won’t help.

Ivy slides her hands up and down my chest, tears sprouting again.

“Help me forget. Even if it’s just for today.”

My hands cup her face.

“What can I do? I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

There’s a pause, a breath, and then she responds.

“Have sex with me.”

I’m stunned. My mouth drops open, and I close it to not appear so…speechless. My wolf is howling inside, pushing against me to comply with her request. Goddess, I’m trying to be a better man here.

“Ivy, I can’t. I’d be taking advantage of you in such a vulnerable and traumatized state. You’ve been through so much.”

She cuts me off, and says.

“I know what I’ve been through; I live it every day. My past haunts my days and nights. There’s nothing good in my life to cover my wounds.”

“Having sex won’t change any of it.”

Her lips are a breath away as she speaks fast.

“Having sex with you. Not just anyone. It will banish the horrendous ordeals I’ve endured…even if only for a few hours.”

It’s hard to breathe. I’ve waited years for this moment. To fuck my mate. And with every ounce of strength I’m battling against my wolf and her pleas. Her breath becomes mine while she chants against my lips, agonizing pleas for me to fuck her.

My wolf is clawing at my insides.

Ivy’s lips dance over mine, whispering her wishes.

“Ivy…what you’re asking…”

Her hands grip my shoulders, scooting closer until her pussy presses into my abs. I hiss at the wet warmth and the searing pain my wolf is causing, who is angry about not satisfying our mate.

She kisses my chin, along my jaw, and runs her tongue over my lips.

My wolf slams into my chest. Ivy’s violet eyes meet mine, and I fucking lose it.

I crush her into my chest, mouth finding hers, and I fuse us together in body and breath. The desire is so intense, our hands and mouths are unable to move fast enough. She wraps her legs around my waist, and I’m fisting her hair, humping her and the counter. My dick is harder than cement in winter. The expansion drives my cock into the zipper of my jeans. Goddess, I’m going to put a hole in them if my dick isn’t freed soon.

Hauling her into my arms without leaving her mouth, I take the stairs two at a time to my bedroom, kicking the door shut behind me. We break long enough for us to discard our clothes. As soon as we’re naked, I pin her to my chest, taking her mouth with greed. It’s wild and bruising. Like an ivy vine, she’s wrapped around my limbs and body, struggling to touch every part of me as I am touching her. Ivy smells of strawberries and vanilla. My tongue glides along her teeth, licking up the sweetness of her mouth.

I pull away, dropping her on the bed, and then cover her with my body. My mitt hands cradle her head. I’m trying to avoid losing all self-control, so I manage my breathing while my thumbs circle her temples. Her eyes close, which is an indication she’s relaxing.

Maybe I should stop right now to prevent what’s definitely about to happen, not happen. Men have treated her like property. Hurt her. They ignored her feelings, like she didn’t matter. But Ivy matters to me. I’ll do anything to avoid mimicking the shitshow she’s suffered through. My erection is laying on her leg and the wetness of pre-cum. The smoothness of her skin is like a stone abraded in a stream. I lower, softly graze my lips across hers, and raise a bit. Her eyes open.

“We can end this now.”

She offers a sultry whisper.

“No. This is what I’ve wanted since I met you.”

Her legs widen.

“Give me this even if it is short-term bliss. Erase my memories until it’s just us.”

This is what dreams are made of. Holding onto a moment to pause life for that special high. To ride the energy for as long as we can. And for Ivy and me, that’s exactly what I plan on doing.

Our eyes connect and I press my lips to hers. I don’t rush it this time. It’s a slow saunter of give and take. The tip of my tongue traces the seam of her lips until she opens for me to slip inside. It’s a lazy kind of kiss, snuggling my tongue and lips against hers. She strides along with me while we explore our mouths. We were hasty earlier. Now, we’re focused on the high, and to ride it for as long as possible. Reap the rewards and start all over again.

My mouth abandons hers to lay kisses along her jawline, while my hair caresses the side of her face. She releases a sigh, which has my dick twitching. Even though my wolf wants to run straight in, I’ve coaxed him into following our journey, no matter how much he wants me to burrow inside her.

I drag my tongue downward from her chin to her cleavage, squeezing her breasts together. My tongue swirls around one nipple and I cover it with my lips. She arches her back, forcing it and her piercing into my mouth. It’s inviting to lay here for the rest of the day, sucking on her breasts, causing them to pebble and redden from activity. When Ivy moans, her nipple pops from my mouth as I gaze up at her face, lost to the sensations. It’s one of the most erotic things I’ve witnessed, which has me offering the same amount of attention to her other breast. Her fingers work their way into my hair, combing, massaging my scalp. I groan, still latched onto her nipple, looking up at her with her eyes still closed and a smile planted on her face. My Goddess, she’s remarkable.

To continue my exploration, I move lower, kissing the hood of her clit. Her eyes fly open to observe me. It’s showtime. I leave open-mouth kisses along her pubic bone and inner thighs. She lifts her pelvis up, but I press her into the mattress. My hands clasp her thighs, widening them, burying my nose into her pussy, and inhaling. I squeeze my eyes shut from the sudden dizziness of my mate’s hypnotizing smell.