Page 12

Twelve

TJ

The numbers are not looking good. Have they ever looked good? Well, yes, actually. TJ can remember a time when he’d looked at the numbers and they’d looked back and gone, “Yay! You did it!” They did that enough times until he gained the confidence to leave his old job and start up his new firm. But right now, the numbers are not saying, “Yay.” They’re saying, “Welp. You had a good run. Now run.”

TJ buries his head in his hands and massages his temples. He’s going to have to close up shop. There’s no way around it. My god, but how did it get so bad in such a short time? He’d really thought— well, he hadn’t actually given it any thought, but he’d hoped—that when push came to shove, he’d have enough saved up to at least keep things running for a while. But nope. One viral post was all it took to make this house of cards crumble.

He should have done the responsible thing and put an end to this farce of a business before it got him into debt so deep it jeopardized Robin’s future. He’ll have to let Kit, Lomax, and Elsie go. The thought sickens him. Quite literally. He feels like he needs to curl up on a bed, clutching his head and moaning gently.

“—without an appointment,” Elsie says right as the door swings open.

Vera stands there, looking like a triumphant warrior. Behind her, Elsie stands with an apologetic expression, holding a half-eaten bun.

“Vera.” TJ sighs. “You can’t just show up here unannounced.”

“Sorry, boss,” Elsie says. “She distracted me with a pork bun.” Then to Vera, she says, “It’s really good.”

“I have more,” Vera says, handing Elsie a big paper bag. “You share with those two outside, okay?”

“Ooh,” Elsie says with a smile. “I’ll just leave you two alone, shall I?”

That little traitor , TJ thinks as Elsie takes the bag and shuts the door. He can hear her out there going, “Hey, guys, pork buns!” And happy murmurs from Kit and Lomax. He should be grateful for small favors.

TJ regards Vera wearily. “If this is about Xander Lin again, I don’t think—”

“No, not about Xander Lin.”

“Oh.” He hadn’t been expecting that. “Okay. Well, what can I do for you?”

“I am looking for representation,” Vera says with her chin up.

“Um…representation?”

“Well, that is what you do, yes? You represent influencers online?”

“Uh, yeah. But you’re not an influencer.” God, did that come out sounding as callous as he thinks it did? He really doesn’t mean to be a jackass. “And I mean that in the best possible way,” he adds.

In answer, Vera takes out her phone, taps on it, and shoves it in TJ’s face triumphantly. TJ leans back, squinting at the phone screen. “What am I looking at here?” he mutters.

“Over one million views,” Vera crows.

The screen shows Vera brewing tea. “Oh, sorry, I forget volume.”

She taps on the phone and the volume turns on at maximum power, blaring in the small office. “WHAT HAPPEN TO XANDER LIN?”

“Oops, sorry,” Vera calls out, tapping at her phone until the volume goes from deafening to somewhat manageable.

TJ watches in horror as Vera narrates the mystery around Xander Lin’s death while brewing tea. The comforting footage accompanied by the chilling narration makes the whole thing feel so surreal that you can’t help but stop and watch it, which is probably the reason why the damn thing has gone viral.

“Wh—” TJ opens and closes his mouth, but no words come out. His brain seems to have forgotten how to form coherent words.

Stop this! he wants to shout, to beg. Stop digging, stop rousing people’s curiosity, stop whatever it is you’re trying to do, because I cannot afford another catastrophe.

“Very good, eh?” Vera says. “Now, Aimes tell me if I get one million view, I get pay two thousand dollars. Just for ten-minute work! I can get use to this.”

“That’s not—it doesn’t work like that. You haven’t monetized this particular video,” TJ hears himself saying. What is he blathering on about? Who cares about monetizing videos right now? Especially when said video is about Xander Lin?

“Okay, you are my manager, so you can manage the money part, simple.”

“I’m not your manager,” he croaks.

Vera looks at him quietly for a second, disappointment crossing her face. TJ feels like a little boy who has broken his mother’s favorite bowl. “TJ,” Vera says quietly, and TJ wants to wail like a toddler, “I am telling you I am a star. If you don’t manage me, I go to someone else and then you will regret. But I am giving you chance because I like you.”

“Hell, if he doesn’t do it, we will,” Lomax calls out from the doorway.

TJ cranes his neck to see Lomax and Kit peering at them from outside, both of them with half-eaten pork buns in their hands. “These are so good,” Kit says.

“Yeah,” Lomax says, “and that video you did is awesome. You’re right, lady, you are a star.”

Vera smirks and covers her mouth with one hand. “Oh, you young people really know how to make an old woman feel good about herself.”

TJ gives her a flat look, like who is she trying to fool? He’s only known Vera for a very short time, but already he knows that bashfulness is not an emotion Vera is familiar with.

“Did you make these from scratch?” Kit says through a full mouth.

“Yes.”

“Even the dough?” Kit says.

“Oh yes, of course.”

Kit and Lomax exchange a glance, and TJ has to keep himself from groaning out loud again. He knows that look. They’re excited about Vera, and he can’t blame them. There is nothing quite like footage of someone kneading dough to drive viewers insane. Especially when that someone is a grandmotherly figure like Vera. He can already see that Vera will, indeed, become a social media sensation. People would watch her gently kneading dough and chopping vegetables in the wee hours of the night for some comfort. Hell, TJ would’ve been one of those people if only he didn’t know her personally and she weren’t trying to ruin his entire life. He needs to do something. He can’t just let Kit and Lomax run with this, not when his life is on the line.

“Okay, Vera,” TJ says, “I’ll take you on.”

“Aw, man,” Lomax says, “seriously?”

“A minute ago, you weren’t interested,” Kit says. “What happened?”

TJ shakes his head. “She makes the dough from scratch.”

“Come on,” Kit groans. “Let us do this, you know we’d do her justice.”

Yeah, that’s the problem, he wants to say. But to them, he says, “I have the time. I don’t have that many clients anymore.”

Kit’s and Lomax’s expressions soften, turning into ones of sympathy, and TJ hates himself for using his trump card with them. “Okay, boss,” Lomax says. He turns to Vera. “You’re in good hands, Vera. But if you ever need anything, any tips about social media…”

“Or an extra stomach if you cook too much food,” Kit adds.

“Yeah, or that,” Lomax says, “you know where to find us.”

Vera laughs. “Don’t worry, I feed you well.”

As soon as Lomax and Kit leave, TJ releases a sigh of relief. He sags back in his seat, exhausted.

“Okay, so where I sign?” Vera says.

TJ bites his lip. But before he can answer, his cell phone rings. The screen says, Roosevelt Middle School . “Oh no,” he mutters. In the split second that it takes him to pick up the phone, his heart rate has somehow managed to double. “Hello?”

“Hello! This is Anya Cobb, vice principal of Roosevelt Middle School. Please come pick your daughter up from school right away.”

TJ swallows. His throat is a desert. “Is there—is she okay?”

“Yes, she is all right, but she is being suspended and needs to be picked up. Can we expect you soon?”

Suspended. TJ closes his eyes.

“Um. Hello?”

“Yes,” he croaks. “I’ll be there.”

He hangs up and rises from the chair.

“Robin okay?” Vera says.

TJ blinks. Somehow, he’s forgotten that Vera was sitting a mere three feet across from him. “No. I’ve gotta go.”

“I come with you.”

“Vera, no.”

She follows him out of the office anyway. “I’m leaving for the day,” he calls out to Elsie. “Can you lock up in here?”

“Sure thing.” She smiles and waves. “See you around, Vera!”

“You drink that ginseng tea I make you, okay? Good for baby,” Vera says as she hurries out after TJ. Just how many things has she made for TJ’s employees?

TJ unlocks his car and slides in, his mind a scramble. He startles when Vera hops into the passenger seat. “Vera,” he groans. “Seriously. This is a family matter.”

“I have pork buns,” she says simply, like that would make everything magically okay.

TJ starts to argue with Vera, but there isn’t time. There never is enough time. His kid needs him, and it was all his fault, and he really shouldn’t keep her waiting a minute longer. God, why do things have to be so complicated? He strangles the steering wheel as he drives, his mind going through all of the possibilities that could’ve landed Robin in a suspension, each one worse than the last. Cigarettes, drugs, stealing. When TJ thinks about how different Robin is, how quickly she’s changed from his baby into this surly preteen, he wants to bury his face in his hands and wail. He can still remember her at age five, suddenly getting separation anxiety and clinging to his leg every morning, crying so hard at the gates of her kindergarten that she threw up. He’d been so frustrated at her then, and so torn up about leaving her, getting teary-eyed himself as he hurried away and blocked out her wails. But every evening when he picked her up, they’d have what he called a “luddle,” which was basically a cuddle but extra long, and he had convinced himself that it was enough. But maybe it wasn’t. Maybe she felt abandoned by him, over and over again, and that was why she was having such a hard time in middle school now. Maybe, maybe. That was parenting: a never-ending series of maybes.

TJ is so lost in thought that he barely notices Vera scurrying out of the car once he’s parked outside of the school. He’s only subconsciously aware of Vera’s presence behind him as he rushes through the school doors and hurries down the hallway. And there she is, his not-so-little baby girl, sitting outside of the principal’s office. She looks so skinny , he thinks. All elbows and knees. When did the baby fat melt away? TJ had loved that baby fat, the chubby thigh rolls, the round cheeks, the protruding belly. Robin looks almost like a stranger now. She looks up, and for a second, her face falls when she spots him. Then it hardens. TJ can practically hear the walls slamming into place around Robin, and he girds himself for yet another fight.

“What happened?” he says, and he immediately hates himself for saying it, because a good parent would’ve said, Are you okay? He adds belatedly, “Are you okay?”

Robin shrugs and looks down at her feet. The door opens and Mr.Burns, the principal, says, “Ah, you’re here, good. Come on in.”

TJ straightens up, pats Robin on the shoulder, and ushers her in. When he turns to close the door behind him, he bumps into Vera, who’s slunk into the office with them. “What—”

“I’m her grandmother,” Vera says to Mr.Burns.

Mr.Burns’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and he looks back and forth from Vera to TJ to Robin, clearly wondering how in the hell the three of them could be related. Then he probably decides it’s not worth pushing and says, “Ah, well it’s nice to meet you, Mrs….”

“Mrs.Wong.” She takes Mr.Burns’s hand and sits down primly across from his desk. She pats the chair next to her and says, “Come sit next to Grandma, Robin.”

Robin, looking confused but also slightly amused, does so, leaving TJ standing awkwardly. Now it’s impossible for TJ to tell Vera to get out. And what would he say to Mr.Burns? She’s not really his mother? She’s just some random old woman who’s wormed herself into his life because of a death that’s connected to him? He’d only be reinforcing Mr.Burns’s opinion of them being a problematic family. So TJ gives a weak smile and sits down on the remaining chair, resigned to his fate.

“So,” Mr.Burns says, sitting behind his desk. “I regret to inform you that Robin will be suspended for a week due to indecent behavior.”

Robin rolls her eyes.

“What did she do?” TJ hears himself ask, and oh, could he hate himself even more than he already does? His voice sounds so thin, as though it didn’t want to be heard. How can he expect anyone to take him seriously when he sounds like a lost, scared kid?

Mr.Burns clears his throat, looking uncomfortable, and TJ wants to hide behind his chair. “Well, Robin was asked last week to, ah, start wearing a bra.”

And now TJ really would like to hide behind his chair, please. Somehow, he remains sitting, maintaining eye contact with Mr.Burns.

“But she continuously refuses to do so, and unfortunately, we cannot allow this to continue because it’s disruptive to—”

“Robin, you are how old?” Vera says, interrupting the principal.

Robin, who has put her arms around her chest and curved in on herself, looks up. “Thirteen.”

Vera cocks her head, regarding Robin for a bit. “Okay,” she says to the principal. “I buy her bra. No need for suspend.”

Mr.Burns blinks. “Mrs.Wong, I’m sorry to inform you that the suspension is still in effect. We did give Robin ample warning—”

“Oh, rubbish,” Vera snaps.

“Excuse me?”

“Vera,” TJ says, but Vera ignores him.

“I am being courteous to you,” Vera says.

“You are?”

“You are bullying a thirteen-year-old child into wearing bra. That is very wrong, Mr.Bun, but okay, I look other way, I don’t tell you how very creepy it is, not to mention you are infringe on her human right. So what if she don’t want to wear bra? I don’t wear bra. They dig into my skin and give me rash. You going to tell me off about that too?” Vera scolds, sitting up very, very straight so her chest sticks out. It is impossible not to glance at her (braless) chest as she talks.

TJ’s mouth drops open. He would desperately like to forget all of this conversation right away.

“Well,” Mr.Burns sputters, “obviously not, but you’re not a student at my school.”

“Oh? But I am at your school now. Am I being disruptive because my breasts not bound? They are very big breasts, they use to be B-cup, but after I have baby, they become C and they never shrink back.”

“W-well—”

“But never mind that. Like I say, is okay. I look other way even though you are being so inappropriate and also my son is lawyer, he is going to be senior associate soon. His office is at the Embarcadero. He is very important and he is always saying, ‘Ma, if you need help with anything, just come to me.’ And he is soon to be engage to a detective. A police officer, very high ranking. She is very beautiful, and they will give me beautiful grandbabies. So, if I want to, I can push back against you and your bra fetish, but I am being nice, Mr.Bun.”

“Burns,” the principal mumbles, not quite meeting Vera’s eye.

“What? You need to speak up,” Vera says.

Robin looks suspiciously like she’s biting back a laugh. TJ has no idea what his own face is doing, but his brain at least is going, Whaaaa?

“My name is Burns,” Mr.Burns says.

“Yes, that is what I been calling you. Don’t change subject. Focus. I say okay, I will take Robin to look for bra, and if we find one she like, then okay, maybe she want to wear it. But if she has sensitive skin like me, then you let her be, Mr.Bun, and stop looking at my granddaughter’s chest.”

“I wasn’t—it was reported to me,” Mr.Burns cries.

“And you tell whoever snitch to you to stop looking at her chest, yes?” Vera pauses expectantly.

There is a moment of silence.

“You don’t find it worrying that someone keep staring so hard at a child’s chest that they notice she not wearing bra?” Vera pushes.

“I’ll…have a word with them,” Mr.Burns says.

“Good. Otherwise my son, the important lawyer at big law firm, have word with you. And I am social media star, so I will splash this story all over the social media. You think I won’t? I am Chinese mother, all I do is create conflict. You think CIA know anything about destabilizing? They know nothing compare to me!”

TJ almost feels sorry for Mr.Burns, who’s gaping at Vera in open horror. Almost. But a bigger part of TJ wants to clap for Vera, except he doesn’t because he’s kind of really terrified of her right now.

“Now, I think we all agree education is number one important thing in child’s life, so Robin will come back to school tomorrow. I always find this suspension thing very silly, don’t you? Very anti-education. We don’t do such thing in Asia, you know.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Mr.Burns says. “Asian schools are known for much harsher punishments…”

Vera stares hard at him until his voice trails away. TJ can practically feel Mr.Burns’s soul departing his body under Vera’s unwavering stare. After an eternity, Mr.Burns mumbles, “Yes, well, thank you for stopping by, and we’ll see Robin in school tomorrow.”

“Good,” Vera says. She takes out a plastic-wrapped bun and plops it in the middle of Mr.Burns’s desk. “Pork bun for you. I make myself.” With that, she stands up and says, “Come, TJ and Robin.”

And, through TJ’s mystified haze, they do.