Page 22

CHAPTER

TWENTY-TWO

Aaron didn’t show up to school on Monday.

Nobody was surprised. Theo heard Sarah Wetterson—mathlete and sympathetic puker—whispering about how weird it was that Theo did show up the day after his dad died, and maybe that meant Theo didn’t care about his dad very much. It was a good thing his other classmate, Vita Dido—loud, smart, once fit her whole fist in her mouth during biology class—pointed out how serious Theo was about his attendance, because Theo had been about to march across the room to scream at them.

It’s so weird , they whispered. Both their dads in one week. Both mysterious deaths. Maybe someone’s killing off the Nightfowl dads.

They whispered: Maybe Kade’s involved. I saw him follow Theo outside at Aaron’s party.

Theo couldn’t take it. The next time he passed Kade in the hall, he dragged him into a bathroom.

“This isn’t our usual,” Kade said, eyeing the multiple bathroom stalls, the unlockable door and Theo’s hand on his sleeve.

Theo let him go, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He still had the lighter, shifting from pants pocket to pants pocket, waiting for Theo to finally hand it over.

“Come over after school?” he asked.

Theo waited for Kade to ask why this couldn’t have been a text. Or tease him about whether anyone had seen Theo drag him into the bathroom.

“Why?” Kade asked instead.

“Why what?’

“What’s the excuse? You usually have one. Visions, feeding, homework.”

Kade crossed his arms tightly over his chest. He was wearing his WAIT I HAVE ANOTHER BAD IDEA shirt, the one he’d been wearing when Theo bit him for the first time.

“I need…” Theo swallowed. “I still have your clothes. I have to give them back.”

It was even true. The clothes Theo had borrowed were sitting under his bed at home, clean and folded. He’d meant to take them to school today, but he forgot.

He waited for Kade to ask why Theo couldn’t bring them to school tomorrow. Or why this was so urgent Kade needed to come around today.

Kade asked, “Am I sneaking in? ”

“Mom won’t be home until dark.”

Kade hitched his backpack higher. It looked like he actually had books in there, as he often had since senior year started.

“See you in your backseat,” Kade said, and walked out.

Felicity cornered Theo under the bleachers.

“Not our usual lunch spot,” she said as she folded to her knees beside him. “But I’ll take it. Can you still eat?”

Theo shook his head.

Felicity made a face. “God. That sucks. I’d kill myself if I could never eat potatoes again.”

“Good thing I’m already dead,” Theo said flatly.

Felicity snorted. She rested her chin on her knees, winding a strand of shiny blond hair around her finger. She was wearing less makeup than usual. It made her look her age, for once. Ever since she signed the modeling contract, she’d been doing whatever it took to make herself look older. Clothes, makeup, posture. Theo hadn’t seen her rest her chin on her knees in a long time. He thought she might’ve done it while he was burying Mr. Fletcher, but his memory was a little fuzzy. It had been fuzzy all week, actually. So annoying—he had super strength and could fly, but he still got grief fog ?

“Soooo,” Felicity said into the silence. “How about them Nightfowls?”

“I don’t know. Haven’t been going to practice.”

“Right. Don’t want to start flying on the court.” Felicity poked a dry wad of gum stuck to the bottom of the bleachers. “ Can you fly?”

Theo nodded.

“Shit. Seriously?” Felicity grinned. “That’s awesome.”

“I came here to be alone, Liss.”

“Really? You’re doing a bad job.” Felicity’s hand twitched, like she was going to punch him in the shoulder like back when they were kids. Then it fell back to her side. She toyed with her skirt hemline.

“Where’s Kade?”

“We don’t hang at school.”

“Oookay.” Felicity smacked her lips. She was wearing the expensive cherry lip gloss Aaron got her for every birthday. “You know that everyone kind of knows, right?”

“Not officially,” Theo protested. Then, when Felicity gave him an unimpressed look: “I told my mom we don’t hang out, okay?”

Felicity hummed, so high-pitched that Theo winced. “You know how fast gossip spreads. Even with me shutting it down, all your subterfuge and making him ride around in the backseat.”

“It sounds bad when you say it like that.”

“Is pretty much useless now,” Felicity said over him. “You might as well bite the bullet. ”

“Nope.”

Felicity groaned. “Oh my god, who cares if your mom doesn’t like one person you hang out with?”

“I can’t let her down,” Theo snapped, so loud that Felicity flinched. Theo cringed. “I…I can’t. Okay? It’s all I?—”

He stopped. He’d been about to say something pathetic.

Felicity finished it for him. “All you have?”

Theo didn’t respond. He checked his phone. Ten minutes until they had to head to class.

“I get you’re going through a whole thing,” Felicity said. “With the murdered dad stuff. But you have me. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, but you have me.”

He frowned at her. Before he could ask why that would be a bad thing, she continued:

“You have…okay, I don’t know about Aaron, since we got his dad killed. But you have me. And Kade. Who is actually pretty cool when he’s not snarling at you. Even when he is. Kinda wish we started hanging sooner. I tried to invite him to a party last year but he thought I was making fun of him. Which I kinda was, but still.”

She paused. Then she reached over and touched his arm. She didn’t ask about how muscles worked as a vampire, or say she could lift more than him, like she sometimes did since her gymnast muscles came back over the summer. She just let her hand rest. They weren’t good at talking about this kind of stuff, but she could at least give him this .

Theo couldn’t look at her. He was pretty sure she understood. The same way Aaron understood: accepting comfort felt like he was doing something wrong. It meant Theo wasn’t doing everything perfectly. And if Theo wasn’t doing everything perfectly—school, sports, bringing pride to the Fairgood name—then he would get punished. And he’d deserve it. Because Theo only got punished when he was being bad, and Theo wanted to be good. More than anything, Theo wanted to be good.

But sometimes being good meant doing something his parents would disapprove of.

The boys sat on the cliffs near Theo’s house, legs dangling off the edge of the place where Kade once planned to jump. The place where Theo had been scooped up to be pried open, his sire’s dark blood forced between his lips until he swallowed.

Theo looked out over the lake. It was a long drop.

Kade slouched onto his elbows, Theo’s borrowed clothes folded on his lap.

“How’s Aaron?” he asked, and sucked on a cigarette. He hadn’t offered one to Theo.

“Don’t know. He hasn’t answered my texts. I’d go over, but?—”

“Don’t wanna get shot with a silver arrow.”

Theo nodded. He couldn’t stop thinking about the sirens illuminating Aaron’s numb face as his mom told him what the police had found in the woods. The horrible familiarity of it. The answering ache in Theo’s chest.

“I hate how much I want to see him,” Theo admitted. “I don’t—I don’t even know if I like him anymore. But I’ve known him forever. I know exactly what he’s going through. Our dads were kind of similar, you know? All those expectations. All that weight. We used to joke we were the heavyweight twins, carrying all that shit on our shoulders.”

Kade blew out a long, slow plume of smoke. “Theo,” he said, and his tone made Theo look. He spoke low and hesitantly, like he had something to say but really didn’t want to say it.

Kade winced, staring up at the sky. “You know it’s, like, fine to have weird, complicated feelings about your parents. Nobody’s dad is perfect.”

“I know,” Theo said defensively, thinking about Felicity’s disbelieving smile after he denied his parents were bad people. “But my dad was…he was good. He wanted what was best for me.”

“Okay,” Kade said slowly. “You just…seem kinda freaked out over him disapproving of anything.”

“Isn’t everyone afraid of letting down their dad?” Theo wiped his hands on his jeans, a leftover habit from when he was human. He had no sweat to wipe away anymore. He felt the lighter in his pocket—the real reason he’d invited Kade over.

“Look,” he said in a rush. “I wanted to give this to you for ages but it was never the right time. Then everything happened, and I got stressed about metaphors?—”

Kade sat up, surprised. “Theo?”

“You’ve been really good to me,” Theo said. “Making me laugh. Trying to make me rest. I know I’m bad at it, but it means a lot that you tried.”

“Okaaay,” Kade said. “Metaphors?”

Theo nodded. “The thing I got you. It helps you die faster. I help you die faster. That’s my whole thing, right? Killing you?”

Kade stared at him. His gaze darted down to where Theo’s hand was worrying his pocket.

“What the hell did you get me?” he asked, incredulous. “Heroin? A gun ?”

“No,” Theo snapped, clenching the lighter so tight he worried it would dent. “I?—”

A car rumbled in the distance. Theo turned just in time to watch his mom’s convertible emerge from the wooded path, heading toward the house.

“Shit.” Kade stood, almost dropping the clothes Theo had folded. He reached for his backpack and stuffed the clothes in. “You said she wasn’t home until dark.”

“Well, I was wrong,” Theo said, watching the convertible pull up the driveway.

Kade slung his backpack on. “Want backup? Or do I run?”

“Don’t run , that would look so weird!” Theo fell silent as his mom climbed out of the convertible and made a beeline straight toward the cliffs where they were sitting. Her smile was tight, her curls perfect in a way they hadn’t been in days. She wore a white power suit, untouched by the dust and leaves swirling around her as she walked up.

She came to a neat stop in front of them and extended a hand toward Kade. “Hi. I didn’t introduce myself properly last time. I’m Carol Fairgood.”

“Kade,” Kade blurted, grabbing her hand and pumping it hard. “Renfield. Sorry I passed out in your house.”

She laughed. “That’s no problem. I have to admit, I’m surprised to see you! I was under the impression you wouldn’t be coming over again.”

Kade flushed. “Right. Sorry. I was just leaving.”

He half-turned, like he was going to say goodbye. Then he nodded, fast and tight, eyes averted. Like he didn’t want to look at Theo in front of his mom in case she realized something. Realize what, Theo wondered. That they were unwilling members of a vampire ritual? That Theo had danced with him at Aaron’s birthday, spinning slow circles around his back porch? That Theo thought about kissing those chapped lips every time Kade laughed, which was a lot more often nowadays? That Theo couldn’t kiss him unless he wanted Kade to burn?

“Theo,” Carol said.

Theo tore his gaze from Kade’s retreating figure. He wanted to snap at her. How dare he want to snap at her? Her husband had just died, she was the only thing he had left.

“Yes,” he said, surprised to find his voice was rough.

She nodded at the car in the driveway. “There’s a casserole in the front seat, could you take it inside?”

“Sure.” He started walking toward it.

“Thanks, hon. It’s another one from Russel,” she told him as she headed for the house. “Not sure what’s in it. He joked that it had a lot of iron, since he cut himself while he was making it. There better not be Russel-blood in that thing, he’s far too casual about these things.”

Theo hummed distractedly. He glanced at Kade, who was walking toward the woods. Theo hadn’t even offered him a ride home.

“He says he’s always cutting himself when he’s cooking,” Carol continued as she reached the front gate. “Maybe that’s how he got all those scars.”

Theo stopped. He was almost at the convertible. The casserole sat in the passenger’s seat, wrapped in steaming foil. Still warm.

“Scars?” Theo repeated. He turned to watch Carol head down the garden path toward the house.

“I always assumed the scars all over his hands were from gardening. Maybe he’s just a terrible cook.” Carol paused to cup a rose in her palm. Bright red, the ones Theo had pruned over the weekend. She gave it an appreciative sniff and continued, “Funny thing. He went on and on about the blood in this, but I didn’t even see a Band-Aid.”

Theo’s ears rang. Russel’s hands, burnished with a hundred tiny scars. Russel coming out of the house as cop cars sat out front. He knows your family, Mr. Fletcher had told him.

His first thought was denial. It can’t be him. He’s known me his whole life. He taught me how to keep bugs out of the tomatoes. He wouldn’t.

“Weird,” Theo croaked. “Hey mom, where does he live again? I want to thank him for all the food.”

She turned, giving him a surprised smile. “That’s so nice of you. I bet he’ll love that. But don’t go over right now, he said he was going to visit…I mean, he’s going to do something for your dad.”

“Do something,” Theo repeated.

“That’s what he said. I just assumed it was flowers.” Carol ran a distracted hand through her curls. “Where’s Sparky? She’s usually yelling at me by now.”

“I locked her in the house,” Theo said numbly. He turned, searching for the heartbeat he could hear from a mile away. Kade was almost at the woods, a small figure about to be swallowed up by the trees.

“Mom,” Theo said. “Can you actually grab the casserole? I need to go.”

Carol frowned. “I’m sorry?”

Theo ran.